Author:
Kiya Sama
Fandom:
Gundam Wing
Title:
School Tales: Summer Memoirs (3) – Finale
Pairing:
1x2x1
Rating:
R
Warnings:
AU, Heero POV, language
Archive:
http://www.kiyasama.com/gundamwing.htm
Notes:
The final chapter to the Memoirs – Second Arc to School Tales begins with next
installment. Thanks for your continuous support and encouragement.
Summer Memoirs (3):
I run – no longer jogging –
but literally now sprinting through my usual trail like a man chased by the
devil himself. I have lost track of when I had begun or where I am going to at
this time. All that matters to me is my sanity and running away from what
threatens it.
Sleep had not come easy to me
last night. I mean how could it? With my mind filled with guilt-ridden thoughts
and scenarios of an imminent breakup, how could I will myself into slumber? I
remember staring at that ceiling for so long that its plain design gradually
seemed to have images of Duo’s angry visage all over it.
My legs are beginning to ache
but damned if I’m going to stop.
Misa had finally excused
herself in the wee hours of the morning – not saying a word, which I was
grateful for – and crept back to her own bedroom. I should be angry at her;
lash out and call her names for forcing me into this, but that would be stupid
of me. I can’t let her take all the blame. If only I had been stronger to
resist the temptation, perhaps things wouldn’t have been this disastrous.
A few minutes later and I was
in the shower, trying to scrub away the remnants of a night gone wrong. I
changed the sheets quickly – a part of me wishing I could burn it, but that would
have been way too dramatic and unnecessary. I got dressed in my tracksuit and
sneakers and sneaked out of the house as quietly as I could.
By the time I will myself to
stop running, leaning against a tree to catch my breath, I realize that my sprint has led me right up the valley and I
can now see our country home way below me in the distance. From my vantage
point, it looks like a doll house stuck within a cluster of miniature trees.
The lake is still covered with a fine mist but it’s slowly breaking up as the
sun begins its ascent in the horizon. With a low groan, I slid to the damp
ground, not caring if the seat of my pants become wet from the dew on the
grass. I raise my knees and wrap my arms around them as I close my eyes and try
to think of what to do.
A part of my conscience tries
to convince me that Duo’s in the wrong and that he has no right to be upset
over anything. I mean, who knows what he’s doing over there himself? He could
have found himself another girl or even worse another guy to play around with
and I’m expected to remain faithful? Dear gods, who am I kidding? No matter how
many times I tell myself this, I still find it hard to believe that Duo will
cheat on me. Yes, he is a tease and has the ability to draw others to him, but
he has given me his word and I will
believe him. It’s funny how things have turned out now. I’m the one seeking
forgiveness and I doubt he’ll be willing to give it to me that easily.
The options left to me –
besides booking a first class ticket to Greece to hunt for him – are to either
email him to death or to keep dialing his cell phone in the hopes that he picks
up. Either way, I’m determined to make sure he listens to my explanation. I do
not deserve to be forgiven but at least he should know that I am sincerely
sorry for what has happened.
With that firm decision in
mind, I rise to my feet and salute the rising sun with a small bow and clasped
hands. Even in the country my ritual hasn’t changed. It’s always beautiful to
wake up with nature.
_
“So Heero, do you want to
take a walk with me and show me around the estate?”
“No.”
“What about horse riding? We
can go horse riding, can’t we?”
“Not interested.”
An exasperated sound escapes
her lips. “Geez, why are you being such a grouch today? Ooooor maybe you want
me to make you feel goo….”
“Don’t flatter yourself,
Misa,” I reply as I carefully remove her arms from around my neck. “It wasn’t all
that great last night.”
“Hmph. That’s not what you
said when you were busy coming all over me. You didn’t even last for a minute…”
“I didn’t come at all,” I
reply tersely, wondering why we are even having this conversation. She had come
into my room a few minutes ago, all dressed up in a pair of tight jeans, a pale
blue blouse and a jacket, quite ready to go outside. Unfortunately, I have been
writing – at least trying to write an email to Duo and so far the words have
remained stubbornly tucked away in my mind. Transferring them to screen is
exceedingly difficult.
She gasps at my statement and
I hide a small smirk from her, keeping my eyes trained on the computer screen
before me.
“That’s just…well…you can’t
blame me,” she finally sputters out with a light snort. “It’s not my fault that
you need that blue pill to make you stay up, if you know what I mean.”
That’s a low jab designed to
hurt me and I think it works…for a second. Instead my smirk widens and I open
up my mouth to tell her just what really turns me on, but then decide to keep
quiet. If I tell her that I’m attracted to Duo, she might let my parents know
about it and I don’t want them to know my secret in such a manner. I plan to tell
them on my own terms.
“Speaking of which…who called
you last night anyway? And what was his problem?”
I clench a hand into a tight
fist ready to lash out in irritation when my cell phone rings. I automatically
reach for it beside me when I realize with horror that it’s still beside my
bed. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Misa walking towards it and barely
giving her a chance to take another step; I all but push her out of the way and
make a dive for it.
Please, please, please. Let it be you, Duo!
Wufei. Damn.
“Goodness! What’s wrong with
you?” she shrieks in annoyance as she brushes off her jacket gently. “Are you
trying to…hey!”
“I need to be alone now,
Misa,” I say quickly, pushing her out of the door as gently as I can. “I’ll
talk to you later, okay?”
I lock the door behind her
flushed and upset-looking visage before sinking to the floor with a low groan.
“Hey, Wufei. What’s up?”
“Keeping me on hold for this
long is…who was that?”
“You heard?”
“Yeah, you must have pressed
the ‘talk’ button without realizing it. She sounds…hysterical.”
“Long story,” I mutter
thickly, suddenly thankful that he has
called. I need to talk to someone about this – to vent out my frustrations and
guilt and before long I find myself doing just that. I tell him of my drunken
stupor, my inability to ward off temptation from Misa and finally to the
dreaded phone call and its consequences soon after. As always he listens, not
saying anything which I am extremely grateful for. When I finally get to the
end, my voice sounds a bit hoarse and there’s a dull ache in my chest. I guess
this would be the perfect time to break down in tears or something along those
lines, but I find that I can’t do that either.
“Well…that’s the sordid
tale,” I say quietly, sinking my fingers into my hair and staring rather
morosely at the pale carpet on the floor. “What should I do?”
“Man, you really fucked up
this time, didn’t you?” Wufei finally says causing me to blush faintly with
slight indignation.
“I already told you I did,
didn’t I?”
“Don’t raise your voice at
me, man. I’m not the one who’s cheating on his boyfriend.” I can ‘hear’ him
smirking on the other end and I snort in mild irritation.
“Some help you are…”
“Look, write him the email
like I know you were already planning to,” Wufei interrupts. “Write him for as
long as you like and then see what happens…”
“Hold on a minute,” I say
quickly as a single beep signaling another incoming call interrupts us. I stare
blankly at the ‘unknown’ number for a second. My first thought is that it’s
another telemarketer, but just as quickly I realize who it might be and all but
scream at Wufei. “It’s Duo!”
“Wha…?”
“I’ll talk to you later,
okay?” Hanging up on my good friend quickly, I press the button allowing me to
listen to the voice I’ve so longed to hear. “Duo? Duo?!”
“I’m here, I’m here,” comes
the amused reply that stupidly causes my eyes to sting rather hotly. “Hi ya
doing, Heero?”
“I…I…” Damned if I don’t sound
like I’m eating a chunk of dry wood. My throat feels tight and I’m gripping the
phone so hard that I’m sure it’s going to snap in a minute.
“Hey…you still here?” he asks
again and his voice sounds like it’s becoming fainter. The connection must be
bad.
I clear my throat and cling
to the device desperately, holding it as close to my ear as possible with both
hands, as if knowing that the Fates are giving me a chance to redeem myself in
some way. “I’m…here…” I finally reply thickly. “I was just about to write you
an email. I didn’t know where you were and I wanted to call you and try to
explain everything, Duo. I swear I didn’t…”
“Take a deep breath, Heero,”
he says with a soft laugh and I can already feel a smile coming to my face. So
did this mean he wasn’t upset with me? It’s true I hadn’t heard him last night
and I had assumed he was angry but he sounds so…relaxed. What can it mean?
“I know you were with a girl
last night,” he continues. “And I won’t lie and say it didn’t suck to know that
I wasn’t the one in bed with you.”
“Duo…”
“But I did some thinking this
morning and figured that it’s not really your fault, you know?”
“What…?”
“I mean you weren’t even gay
or anything and I came along and messed things up for ya, right?”
What are you saying? Just what the hell are you
saying, Duo?!
“So…it’s cool, I guess.”
No! No, it’s not cool! Be angry! Yell at me! Hell,
call me names! Anything is better than this!
“It’s summer and we aren’t
exactly close to each other, it’s only natural for you to want to be with
someone to keep you company. I just didn’t think it would be that quickly, you
know? I mean…”
“Shut up…Duo…”
“What’s that? You have to
speak up, man. I can barely hear you. Oh and guess what? You wouldn’t believe
who I saw at one of the restaurants here the other day. Andre!”
I think my world has just
shattered into a tiny million pieces. It’s like a douse of cold water has been
poured on me and I am beginning to shiver uncontrollably.
“…can you believe it? He says
he’s here for some art show, seminar thing and we’re going there later on
today.”
We. Duo and Andre.
“You should see the new art
pieces he has, Heero. They are awesome! He’s going to be showcased in a small
gallery in
“I see.”
He stops talking long enough
to realize that I have said something. He remains silent too and for a while
nothing is heard but our short breaths. I’m now angry and rightfully so. Why
was he mentioning Andre to me when he obviously knows my dislike for the
artist?
“You have no right to sound
pissed off,” he finally says in a voice that’s a far cry from the cheerfulness
he had displayed earlier. It’s now cold and rather terse and I grit my teeth at
the sound of it. “You have no fucking right to be pissed off, Heero. If I
choose to be with Andre, then I’ll fucking be with him.”
“Sure. Do what you want, Duo.
Go spread your ass for him if you want.” Is that me speaking? I can’t believe I
can sound that cold as well and although I hear a part of me begging to stop
this madness, I am too far gone to stop now. I listen to his harsh intake of
breath and smile coldly as I realize I’ve hit him right where he hurts. Two can
play this game.
“Fuck you, Heero. You hear
me? Fuck you!” he bellows. “At least I’m not burying my cock in some broad like
a goddamn sex-crazed maniac!”
“It was for only one night,
Duo and I was going to apologize but I don’t think I will anymore!”
“Oh yeah?!”
“Yeah!”
When did I get to my feet?
Why am I pacing around in agitation? Why am I trembling so badly? Why the fuck
do I want to scream and yell and destroy everything within my sight? Why, oh
why do I do this to you, Duo? Our breathing seems synchronized. We are both
angry and I can only imagine him duplicating the very thing I am doing now.
“I hate you,” he mutters
thickly. “God, how I hate you.”
“Same here,” I reply tightly.
My eyes are burning. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!!
“I hope you get some kind of
disease that makes your goddamn cock fall off!” Is he crying? I doubt it, but
his voice certainly sounds like he is.
“And I hope that you and
Andre find yourselves checked in some mental institution!”
“At least he’s got some
integrity!”
“And I don’t?!”
“Like hell you do! I gave you
everything, Heero and remained faithful to you and what do you do? Turn around
and let some girl come into your life?! Hell, I can even deal with you screwing
Relena!”
“Misa means nothing to me,
damn it!” I yell back in frustration. “Don’t you get it?! She means nothing!”
“Sure, she doesn’t! That
didn’t stop you from fucking her, did it?!”
“I was drunk!”
“And I think I’ll go get
drunk and make out with Andre too! Christ! The great excuse for anyone who’s
guilty as hell!”
“Duo…”
“Give me one goddamn reason
why I shouldn’t remain with my mom, Heero! Give me one reason to come back to
that school to see your goddamn face!”
One reason. One lousy reason to come back to my life,
huh?
I fall to the floor, suddenly
feeling the fight rush out of me just as quickly as it had come. I am tired –
so tired of trying to deny it anymore and although I can feel my entire body
burning with embarrassment, I find my lips mouthing out the words I have never
said to his face before.
“I can’t hear you,” he says
curtly and I tighten my hand around the phone, feeling my heart beat racing
faster with each passing second. I have to say it if I want to keep him around
in my life. This is no time to act all tough – I am nearly desperate here!
“I…lo…love you…” I say
quickly, my cheeks burning at what I have just admitted.
“Say it again, Heero. Say it
over and over again and convince me, damn it!”
I close my eyes and fight the
stubborn lumps of wood still stuck in my throat. All I have to do is say it…over
and over like I have done in the solitude of my room on many nights.
“I…love you, Duo,” I finally
mutter out thickly, my voice trembling a little as I continue to say the words.
“I love you.”
I stop when I feel I must
have said it a million times and wait for his verdict with a pounding heart.
I’m not sure, but I think I hear him smile.
“You…I finally got you to say
it, didn’t I?” he says quietly. “You stubborn son-of-a-bitch. Walk over to your
mirror.”
I get to my feet, hardly
bothering to ask why I am doing this, but I obediently stand before the
full-length mirror and stare at my flushed reflection.
“I’m standing before it,” I
say quietly, noticing how bright my eyes are and how tousled my hair looks.
“I’m standing before mine
too,” he says with a soft laugh which sends a tingle of warmth down my spine. “Place
your hand against it and close your eyes, Heero.”
I do as I’m told, feeling the
cold glass against my palm as I lower my lashes and allow Duo’s soothing voice
to calm my racing heart. “I am with you, Heero,” he says softly. “Even when we
are far apart…I am always with you. Can you see me? Touching me as you say
those words?”
It might sound cheesy or
un-real but I do see him – behind my
lashes his visage comes to mind. His smiling, handsome features reaching out to
me as the glass warms beneath my palm. He’s still talking to me and somehow we
are no longer separated by a million miles. I am hardly aware of my forehead
touching the mirror gently or the fact that I am now pressed against it. I miss
him – so damn much that it hurts.
“So when I get back to
school….you will say those words to my face, won’t you, Heero?”
I nod slowly before replying
in a trembling whisper. “I will. I promise.”
“I’m going to hold you to
that,” he says breathlessly. “How many more weeks do we have?”
“Roughly three. We are going
back to the city next week though. I have to be in school before the rest of
you…”
“Oh yeah…Mr. President,” he
laughs again, causing my cheeks to flare with color. How can I forget his rousing
speech at the debate last year? He had literally gotten me this job! “I can’t
wait to see your new duds. It should be fun getting you out of them.”
“Duo!” I blush darkly, trying
hard to ignore his laughter and the sudden rush of heat that goes straight for
my nether regions. Suddenly, I blurt out in a rush. “Hurry back. Don’t stay a
week longer. I want to see you on the first day of school Duo.”
He pauses for a long minute
and then sighs. “I don’t know, man. We’ll see.”
“Duo…”
“I can’t make any promises
regarding that but just know that I will be back, okay?”
I guess I can live with that.
“Okay…”
“Heero Yuy?! Will you get
downstairs and escort your guests?!”
Duo snickers. “Your mom? She
sounds…scary.”
“Not as scary as your mom,” I
reply with a smirk. “So…will you call me again?”
“You kidding? Phone bills are
killing me, buddy…but then again, I’ve got to keep my goddamn eyes on you all
the time. Who knows what other girl will come waltzing in to experience the
Heero Yuy Special.”
“Damn it, Duo…I…I…Ididn’tevencome,”
I mutter quickly, almost embarrassed at admitting it, but it’s all worth it as
Duo begins to guffaw in the background. My mother’s yelling for me again and I
can feel a smile on my lips.
“I’ve gotta go, Duo,” I say,
ignoring his chants of me being ‘weak’. “Call me again tomorrow, okay?”
“Sure thing! I’ll tell Andre
you said hi.”
And just like that, he hangs
up, leaving me with the painful reminder that he will be stuck with that
bastard for the next three weeks. At least, I shouldn’t let it bother me too
much. I know he’ll remain faithful to me even though I didn’t keep my end of
the bargain. But I’ll make it up to him from now on. You can count on that.
“HEERO YUY?!”
“Coming, mother!” I yell in
return as I let myself out of my bedroom.
Suddenly the day doesn’t look
so gloomy and as I make my way into the living room, everyone turns to gape at
me in shock. Hell, I think it’s only because I now have the most stupendous
grin on my face and I have no plans to wipe it off any time soon.
__
Home Sweet Home
I wish I could say that the
rest of my stay at the country home had been eventful, but I would be lying. I
made sure Misa and I never had another close encounter and thankfully she and
her parents left two days later. Mother and Father had begun to prepare for our
departure, making me do all the cleaning of course. I could tell that my mom
was sad to leave, but we knew that the real world awaited us and we would have
to say goodbye to our paradise for now.
I wonder if we’ll spend
Christmas there or if my mom will have her way and send us all to
I came back to my apartment a
week ago, receiving a nice bouquet of roses and some food from the landlady who
claimed she had missed me. It was really nice of her to do so and the potato
stew was very delicious. But I had a lot of work waiting for me. Cleaning,
paying bills, checking my mail, but most importantly getting myself ready for
school.
Trowa had returned from the
Corp several days earlier and had called me to talk for a while. Quatre was
still enjoying his vacation but from his phone call, he had sounded like he
couldn’t wait to leave the estate already. Wufei dropped by yesterday with his
girlfriend, Tae, and she is pretty cool if I do say so myself. We hung out the
entire day and finally came home late in the evening.
I had to go to the school
today and met with a few of the teachers and the principal. Kenzo (who I swear
looks a bit more…handsome? I have never
noticed…must be something he did this summer) was in attendance as well as
other members of my cabinet. It was a very informative meeting and we learned a
lot about our new roles, changes that were to take place as well as new rules
and regulations.
And now as I sit and stare at
the red portfolio with the words ‘Student Council’ blazoned upon it, on my desk,
the enormity of my position begins to weigh on me. It looks old and worn – the
leather binding a bit frayed from its usage over time. This has been handed
from the very first Student Council President to his successors over the years and
even opening its pages feels like I’m stepping into time itself.
Ryuuzaki Hajime – Student Council President circa 1942
Masataka Souji – Student Council President circa 1943
I flip through the heavy book
slowly, staring at the names, pictures and handwritings from presidents past. As
expected, most of the older entries are yellowed with time and it is rather
amusing to see how different things had been back then. It is fascinating to
read about each President’s accomplishments or failures and I make a mental
note to have more of the former and less of the latter. I wonder where these men
are now. Some of them might be dead or important members of society and knowing
that I am about to sign my name at the end of this prestigious list sends
chills down my spine.
Milliardo Peacecraft – Student Council President circa
2004
How can I ever forget that
elegant cursive as the image of my flamboyant mentor comes to mind. I can feel myself smiling as I pick up my pen
to seal my fate. I lift my gaze towards the dark blue blazer and khaki pants
which are hanging against my closet door. It’s just like the other school
uniforms and doesn’t look any more special than the rest at first glance, but
walking a little closer, you can make out the extremely important pin on its
lapel. It’s Fujisaki’s coat of arms done in solid gold and with the name
‘President’ simply etched upon it. In a week, I will be walking through the
gates of Fujisaki not only as a senior but with a huge responsibility on my
shoulders. I will now be in charge of over a thousand students and goodness
knows that I am eager to get to work.
I lower my gaze to stare at
Zech’s signature again and whispering my thanks to him, I sign my name beneath
his in a flourish.
Heero Yuy – Student Council President
circa 2005.
~End Summer Memoirs~