Warnings:
Duo POV, Shounen-ai, humor, angst, drama
Rating:
R (for language)
Chapter 35:
Making Sacrifices:
The eight of us stare at the
small booklets in our hands and I swear you can almost feel a gloomy cloud
looming over our heads as the words seem to scream through the pages. CRAM
SCHOOL. It’s inevitable. I mean we have less than two months till final exams
and none of us have made any attempt to join a cram school to help with our
studies. My grades aren’t all that bad but I’d be kidding if I said I’m proud
of them now. I know I can do better and my involvement with the basketball team
and working at Sid’s isn’t helping much. Although going to cram school isn’t
compulsory, it’s not rare to find many students, especially senior high school
students, attending them after a long ass day at regular school. In fact, and
in my humble opinion, I’ve noticed that those who do attend cram sessions tend
to look down on the rest of us. You can see it in the way they’re always the
first to raise their hands in class when the teacher asks a question or being
the first to turn in homework. Damn show offs.
“This blows,” I mutter
beneath my breath, stealing a glance at Heero who’s still sporting a band aid
on his forehead thanks to yours truly. It’s been almost a week since our
argument…okay, fight and things have settled down between us since then. I
notice he doesn’t ask me any questions about my mom’s impending marriage and
maybe I’m a bit grateful for his silence. However, a part of me wishes he’ll
ask and let me vent a little. Maybe he’s just worried I’ll blow up again and
use him as a punching bag and in all honesty, I’m not sure of what I’ll do if
he begins to get too nosey –
“We’ll have to quit or at
least lessen our presence in the kendo club,” Wufei’s saying while looking at
Dorothy as she nods in agreement. I can see he’s torn about making this
decision but it’s something he’s got to do if he hopes to concentrate on his
exams. We all have to make some sort of sacrifice.
“I’ve handed over most of the
work to Makiro in the Press club,” Relena says, already filling out the form at
the back of the booklet. “She’s shown she can handle the situation in my
absence.”
“Same here,” Hilde says with
a grin. She’s filling out her form as well and for some odd reason, I feel a
small tinge of panic within my chest. Perhaps it’s because I haven’t made my
decision yet, and to see them so easily making up their minds to cut down on their
extra-curricular activities makes me feel a bit left out.
“Shuji’s going to be taking
care of the students in the Book club while I’m gone…what about you guys?”
Quatre shrugs, sharing a
quick look with Trowa, who is filling his booklet too! What the fuck?! “We just
have the concert in two weeks and then we’re basically free to do as we please.
Good opportunity for us to start a marathon cram session.”
“What about you, Heero? Elections
start after the festival,” Trowa says.
“I know,” my boyfriend
replies quietly, his brows furrowed as he reads through the booklet again.
“Although Akira’s pretty much doing most of the work these days. The kid’s
good.”
“I pick him to win in a
landslide,” Relena says with a laugh. “Unless someone else comes out of the
blue to challenge him like a certain someone last year.” She points to me and I
have the grace to blush, sharing a quick but poignant look with Heero at the
memory of that crazy period this time last year. Man, talk about having a
rivalry.
“What are your plans, Duo?”
Dorothy asks and that snaps me out of my daydream. I stare at the hateful
booklet and look up to see them all staring at me now. What the fuck do they
want me to say? I look at Heero again and there seems to be a question in his
eyes. Is he waiting for me to say ‘yes’ first?
“I dunno,” I finally mutter
as I jump off my perch on Heero’s desk and toss the booklet upon it. “Haven’t
really given it much thought.”
“Well, you haven’t got the
rest of your life to decide,” Relena announces with a frown in my direction.
“We’re running out of time and we’ve missed a lot so far. If I have to listen
to one more Cramite…”
“Cramite?” We stare at her in
confusion.
“Yeah, those who attend cram
schools. I call them Cramites. Got a problem with that?”
She dares us to laugh at her
newly created word and we all obediently lower our gazes and feign interest in
something else.
“As I was saying,” she
continues. “If I have to listen to one more Cramite showing off in class, I’m
going to gag. They’re learning so much more than we do in regular lessons. I’ll
bet they’ve even gotten sample exams to work on over there!”
Quatre nods in agreement.
“Yeah, didn’t Steven from Class 3-C say that they had already taken mock
examinations? They’ve gotten a head start on us. I’m starting tomorrow if I
have to. I can’t afford to miss another....”
“What about music practice?”
Trowa interrupts. “I thought we had agreed to wait until the concert was over
before focusing on this.” He slaps the booklet gently.
“Yeah but…”
“You okay, Duo?” comes the
softly-spoken question that has me jumping in surprise. I wasn’t even aware
that Heero had moved to stand behind me. My friends’ voices fade into the background
as I stare into his concerned blue eyes. I try to smile at him but it feels too
forced and unnatural. Giving up, I fold my arms before my chest and sigh
heavily.
“Are you going?”
He flushes a little and
lowers his gaze. There’s my answer right there.
“What about your presidential
duties?” I ask in a slightly accusing tone.
“I did say Akira’s handling
most of everything now,” Heero mumbles. “Hell, even tight ass Kenzo’s been
attending cram sessions and he tries to rub it in my face all the time. But anyway,
it’s going to be a good way for us to catch up…”
He holds the booklet to my
face and points at several words. “We can all attend this one close to the
train station and it’s not too far from home either. The fees aren’t too bad as
well. I’ll confess that we’ve been slacking off at home…”
“And whose fault is that?”
I’m trying not to smirk at the darkening hue on his cheeks as he nudges me
gently. “What? It’s not my fault you can’t keep your goddamn hands to
yourself…”
“All the more reason why you
should go,” he says, tapping my nose with the book. “Go to Sid and tell him you
can’t work for now. It’s not like you need the money, Duo.”
“Will you quit the grocery
store?”
He shakes his head. “No. I
only work there on weekends anyway, so I’m pretty much set. If I can get most
of my work done here at school each day, we can get to the cram school on
time.”
“It’s going to be brutal,” I
murmur, tugging the tip of my braid in growing agitation. Not only will I have
to cancel my nightly visits to the auto shop, I’ll have to speak to the Coach
about my position on the basketball team. There’s no way I can focus on that as
well.
“Worried about the basketball
team?”
“You know me too well,” I
say, smirking lightly as I meet his knowing look. “But it’s cool. Basketball I
can do without. Although I won’t lie and say I didn’t want to win the National
Championships in my final year. You know…kinda like to leave in a blaze of
glory and all that shit.”
He laughs softly and leans
close to place a soft kiss on my lips, much to our friends’ amusement.
“Oh for the love of all
things right and just! Get a room!” Someone cries out.
“Can’t even wait for us to
get out of here before they start sticking their hands into each other’s pants.
Horny bastards!”
Heero and I laugh and give
them the finger and for a moment, all thoughts and talk of cram schools, exams
and painful sacrifices fade away as we simply become only high school students
without a care in the world.
__
The next day I show up to
work with no intention of walking into the locker room to change into my
overalls. I already feel miserable about my decision and as I walk towards
Sid’s office, I try not to catch anyone’s gaze or attention. The last thing I
need is to get into some kind of conversation with any of the guys. Parting
would be much harder then.
“Hiya, Duo!”
Oh no! Jimmy! Maybe if I walk
really fast, he won’t notice me…
“Hey, Duo! I called ya,
didn’t you hear me?” He slaps a hand on my shoulder and I fight back a wince of
pain. The boy doesn’t know his own strength.
“Oh…hey, Jimmy…” I begin with
a weak smile when Sid bellows from the front door of his office.
“Maxwell! You’re ten minutes
late! Get your ass into the locker room! I’ve gat some deliveries for ya!”
“Uh…Sid…” But he’s already
making his way back to the office and now from all corners of the large garage
I hear my name being called, the hard and grease-lined faces I’ve come to know
over the past few weeks, breaking into wide smiles. I manage to respond to a
few of them but I know that I can’t stay for a minute longer. If I do I’ll
never leave this place before eight tonight.
I knock on Sid’s door,
wincing as he continues to bark into the phone angrily while pacing around the
cramped room restlessly. Apparently some shipment of new spare parts he had
ordered had been sent to the wrong auto shop in another State and he had
several cars in need of repairs TO-FUCKING-DAY (his words not mine). I
definitely didn’t catch him at a good time.
“Please tell me why ya aren’t
all changed, Maxwell?” he asks as he hangs up the phone with a thunderous slam
and finally notices my presence.
“Well…it’s about…”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he
mutters, walks past me to stick his out the door and then in a thunderous
bellow, “HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YA, DON’T PARK YA FUCKING TRUCK IN MY
FUCKING FRONT DOOR, TIDWELL! THAT’S GONNA COME OUT YA FUCKING PAYCHECK NEXT
MONTH! HUH? WHAT? I DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF THE PRESIDENT OF THE FUCKING COUNTRY’S
IN LABOR! MOVE THAT JUNK BEFORE I DO IT FOR YA!” He slams the door shut and
stalks back to his desk to sink into the leather seat behind it. “Now what can
I do you for, Maxwell?”
I stare into the flushed and
pissed off face before me, wondering how I’m going to say this without
incurring his wrath again. Might as well get it out of my system now before I
lose my nerve.
“I’m thinking of going to
cram school,” I begin quickly. “So I just wanted to hand in my re…resignation…”
Wait a sec. Do they even hand in resignations at an auto shop? I try to smile
at him but it’s a weak effort. He still looks pissed off and thinking I’m going
to get a tongue lashing, I’m surprised when he only gives a heavy sigh and
slumps in his chair as if the very fight has been sucked out of him.
“Wondered when ya’d get
around to it,” he finally mutters, reaching into the pocket of his overalls to
light up a cigarette. A faint but familiar itch fills me and I lower my gaze
quickly, trying hard not to remember the taste of nicotine on my tongue. “It’s
fine, kid. You’ve gat to concentrate on school and shit like that.”
“You’re not mad?” I ask
meekly.
“Mad? Why should I be mad?
You’re one of the best guys I’ve gat here and it’s gonna be a shame to lose ya,
but hey, education first.” He taps his cluttered desk with a finger and gives me
a genuine smile and boy am I glad to see it. Sid’s really a good guy. Beneath
the gruff exterior lies a teddy bear with a kind heart. I’m going to miss
working for him.
“Just don’t be a stranger,”
he adds, rubbing a hand over his face. For the first time I can see how old he
really looks. He might be in his early fifties but hard lines of age and
suffering have etched themselves into his features. I can even see some gray
hair within what’s left on his head.
“I’ll come visit once in a
while,” I reply with a warm smile. “Thanks for putting up with me from the
beginning, sir.” I reach for his hand and give it a firm handshake.
“It was my pleasure, son.” He
gets to his feet and leads me out of the office and before I can stop him, he
stands on the small flight of steps which looks down to the garage to yell at
the others. “Listen up everyone! It looks like we’re losing us a fine mechanic
today!”
“Sid…” I mutter harshly, my
cheeks flaming with color as everyone looks up at us now. I try to hide behind
him but he pats my shoulder and gives it a reassuring squeeze.
“Maxwell’s gonna be leaving
us for a while! He’s got school to consider and I don’t want none of ya giving
him grief about it!”
“So he ain’t working here no
more?” Someone asks and I realize it’s Jimmy. I bite my lower lip as I see the
sad look in his eyes. I was his only real friend in this place and I’d hate to
see how much he’s going to be ragged and taunted without me around to bail him
out.
“No, he ain’t, doofus! Didn’t
ya just hear what Sid said?!” Someone else yells causing some of them to laugh
as Jimmy lowers his gaze in embarrassment. Ah man.
“Hey, one last drink with the
guys, Duo! Whaddaya say?”
“Then it’s settled!” Sid
says, slapping an arm across my shoulders and pulling me to him. He grins
widely at my furious glare. “Drinks are on me! And I’ll even forgive you too
Tidwell! But I’m still deducting your pay for next month! Let’s hit the bar
boys!”
__
Fuck. I knew I shouldn’t have
gone with them.
“Put your head back like that
and let it…”
But I’m already shaking my
head and stumbling for the bathroom with a hand slapped over my mouth. I fall
to my knees before the toilet bowl and give up my lunch and everything else
in-between. Too much root beer (and some real beer mixed in there somewhere),
buffalo wings and tacos with almost twenty rowdy and boisterous mechanics can
do much to fuck up one’s mental capacities. I have a goddamn headache the size
of a continent.
“You okay in there, sweetie?”
My mom. Groaning, I stumble
to my feet and wash my face and mouth quickly, lifting my gaze to stare at my
flushed and haggard features in the mirror before me. I look like an old man
trapped in a young body. Sheesh.
I open the door slowly,
nodding at the concerned look in her eyes. “I’m fine, mom. I just need to lie
down for a while.” She trots after me as I stagger towards my old bedroom. I
flop on the bed with a weak groan, throwing a hand over my eyes as she turns on
the light. It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve lain on this bed and the
familiar comfort of my blanket and pillows feels like heaven right now. The
last time I had been in this room…
Shit. Don’t feel like
remembering it.
“Thanks for picking me up,” I
mumble, my mouth feeling like it’s been stuffed with cotton balls.
“I can’t believe you’d go
drinking with guys like that,” she says, pacing before me in agitation.
“It was my farewell party,” I
groan, reaching for a pillow to cover my head with it. The last thing I need to
hear is her bitching and moaning. I would have gone back to the apartment, but
Heero’s working the night shift this weekend. My only other option was to have
my mother pick me up from the bar and I can only imagine the look on her face
when she arrived. I didn’t see it. I had passed out after the call.
“Farewell? Farewell from
what? You’re quitting?”
“…school…”
“What?!”
I take off the pillow. “I’m
going to cram school.”
Our eyes meet and hold for a
moment and I can see the look of disbelief in hers. “It’s a tad bit too late
for cram school, isn’t it?” she finally says, as she sits on the edge of the
bed. She looks nice in the simple black wool dress. There’s a necklace around
her neck that I’ve never seen before but it compliments her eyes quite well.
I’d be a moron not to see the flush on her cheeks – something that looks
permanent these days. I also know the reason for it and it’s staring at me in
the face.
“Not really,” I say a bit
more coldly than I intended and look away. It’s too bright. Too damn gaudy. A
sign of ownership. That fucker Teruo!
“But you’ve got less than two
months, Duo. Why didn’t you go…?”
“Because I didn’t, all right!
None of us did. So we’ve got some catching up to do and the sooner we start the
better. I’m starting on Monday.”
Damn, now my headache’s
worse.
A heavy silence falls between
us only broken by the faint sounds of the TV in the living room. Finally she
sighs and tries to smile at me. “Baby…I…I know…I know you’re still upset with
me over this…”
“I don’t care.”
“I know it looks like it’s sudden
but…”
“I said I don’t give a fuck!”
I yell and rise to my feet, almost falling on my ass as my knees tremble a
little. This isn’t the right time to be acting all tough but I don’t want to
listen to her excuses now. I watch her lowered head, notice the way her hand
reaches for the ring to hold on tightly as if drawing strength from it. That
simple gesture makes me even more pissed off.
“I’m going home,” I mutter
and turn away.
“You’re in no condition to
drive tonight, Duo,” she says, rising to her feet to follow me.
“I’m not drunk,” I counter
angrily, shrugging off her hand as I hunt for my jacket. “Besides, it looks
like you are expecting company.”
“No, I wasn’t.”
“So you always used to look
this good in the evenings? What? Getting all dressed up for your man of the
night like a fucking slut?!”
SMACK!
Shit. That hurt. I hold my
stinging cheek, dully aware that it’s the same spot Heero had punched me the
week before. I stare into my mother’s face, watching her eyes fill with hurt
tears. I guess I really crossed the line this time.
“What is it, Duo?” she
finally whispers in a voice filled with pain. “What do you want from me? Do you
want me to break up with Saito? Is that it? Do you want me to remain alone for
the rest of my life…?”
“And what’s so wrong with
being alone?!” I yell back in frustration, not wanting to give in to the tears
that’s threatening to spill down my cheeks. “I’ve been alone all my life
and…and…”
“And now you have someone who
loves you and cares for you,” she says quietly. “You’re not alone anymore, Duo.
You’ve got Heero now and you’re happy and content. I’ve been alone for so long,
Duo. For almost seventeen years I honored you and your father’s memory,
refusing to give myself to anyone until I could prove myself to both of you. Even
though your father had moved on…”
“He didn’t know…”
“…I wouldn’t let myself love
anyone else…”
“Why him? Why that fucker
Teruo of all people?”
“Duo…”
“Anyone but him, mom!” The
tears finally break free and I wipe them away quickly. Shit. With my hangover
and now this, I think I’m about to become an emotional wreck. She reaches for
me and even though I try to pull away, she still manages to engulf me in a warm
embrace. I struggle fruitlessly, half-heartedly and finally give in with a
choked sob.
“I really don’t know what
he’s done to you to make you hate him this much but I honestly, truly do love
him, Duo. I tried to tell myself that it was just infatuation with a
charismatic individual like him but…the more I tried to lie to myself, the more
I found myself falling harder for him. After that dinner, I felt crushed at the
truth but in reality, he’s no different from me, Duo. We’ve both made mistakes
we regret and now…we just want to start anew. To begin a whole new life where
no one will judge us for what we’ve done.”
She pulls back to brush away
my bangs gently, a warm and tender smile on her beautiful face. “I sometimes
sit here at night, wondering if your resentment towards me and Saito isn’t the
same thing I experienced watching you and Heero together. I was losing you to
him and I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted you all to myself, Duo and I felt
so betrayed and hurt that you’d chose him over me. And look…you feel that way
now, don’t you?”
“Not really,” I mutter,
blushing at her soft laughter. She pulls me close again and I shut my eyes,
relishing in her warmth and the faint smell of...something else. I don’t really
know how to describe to you, but beneath the light flowery scent of her
perfume, it’s there and I think it’s always been there – the undeniable scent
of a mother’s love.
“I’m not asking you to
willingly accept him for now,” she continues softly, whispering into my hair.
“But just give him a chance to prove himself to you as well, okay? Believe it
or not, he’s worried about your feelings for him, Duo.”
“Yeah right,” I reply in a
muffled voice, as I wrap my arms around her waist to hold her closer to me.
“He really
is…whichiswhyI’veagreedtohaveyoujoinusforapicnicnextSaturday…if that’s okay
with you.”
I pull back to stare at her
incredulously. “What?!”
“It’s just a picnic…”
“No.”
“Duo, please.”
“Mom. I think I just might
get used to the idea of you banging Saito…”
“How crude.”
“…but there’s no way in hell
I’m going to spend an entire day with them! I’d rather drink a bottle of
poison!”
“Duo! Be reasonable!”
“Mom…!”
“Invite Heero too, if that
makes you feel any better.”
“Heero’s not going to come.”
Although I have the feeling he’ll jump in eagerness at the idea of seeing my
new dysfunctional family. The boy can be a downright sadist sometimes.
“But you haven’t even asked
him yet…”
“I know Heero and he’s not
coming. Now where’s my damn jacket?”
“Duo…please?”
I stop by the front door,
suffering
“Fi…fine,” I mumble and yelp in
surprise as she leaps to hug me tightly. “Okay, okay, mom! Cut it out! Geeze!”
She plants a big kiss on my
cheek making me flush in embarrassment. “You have no idea how happy you’ve made
me,” she says, clapping her hands in delight. “I’ll make sure it’s a day you’ll
never forget. Like I said, Heero’s free to come if he wants.”
Nodding in understanding, I
make my way out of the apartment, gulping in huge breaths of fresh air as if
deprived. She’s still waving at me as I drive out of the parking lot and begin
to make my way home. Heero should be arriving in two hours. I should have
enough time to make dinner for him before then….although I’ll have to make a
quick pit stop at the grocery store. Our pantry’s all but empty.
Give Saito a chance, huh?
Man, if I wasn’t the one
going through all this shit, I’d be laughing my ass off at the irony of the
entire thing. I guess Heero and my mom are right though. She’s been alone for
so long that she desperately needs a partner in her life. However, if it turns
out that Saito’s just stringing her along, playing with her vulnerable heart
since she’s not been in the dating scene for so long, oh he’s going to wish he
had never been born by the time I’m through with him.
So fine, I’ll go to the damn
picnic. Hell, I’ll even force myself to have some kind of decent conversation
with him. But you bet your ass I’ll be watching him like a hawk. As I make a
turn around a block, the sharp and delicious smell of cheeseburgers has me
drooling. It’s from Tony’s Burger Joint! The guy makes the best burgers in the
city and now that my hunger’s finally kicking in…again…I think I’ll just stop
for a bite.
“Hey Duo!”
“Yo, D!”
I wave at some of my classmates,
noticing that several students from Fujisaki as well as others I’m not quite
sure of, are all hanging out at Tony’s like they usually do on a Saturday
night. You can either use the drive thru windows or simply walk up to one and
place your order. There’s a long line forming on either side and I groan in
disbelief. Not in the mood to stand around, neither do I feel inclined to speak
to any of my classmates, I begin to make my way back to my bike, only to stop
in mid-stride as I hear a faint cry of pain from behind the restaurant.
None of my business.
I start to walk again and now
I hear deeper voices, something like a kick and that low cry of pain once more.
God damn it! Why does that
voice sound familiar? And it’s none of my business. It’s really none of my
business. I should just hop on my bike and get the hell out of here and yet…
“Help me! Someone…urgh!”
How can anyone hear you, you idiot?! I curse inwardly, my feet already leading me towards
the darker section of the alley. The traffic from the street is loud, the music
is even louder and with all the activity up front, it’s so easy to ignore
whatever’s going on back here. I finally get to the scene and sure enough, it’s
just as I had suspected.
Damn you little brat! Why do
you always get yourself into these kinds of trouble?!
“What the fuck are you
looking at?!” One of the guys’ asks as I evaluate the situation quickly. These
aren’t high school kids, so it’s not going to be as easy as the last time.
These guys are big and mean-looking (there’s three of them) and are standing
over the small and rather pitiful figure curled in misery on the ground. I’m
glad to see that his clothes are still on…well most of it but he’s bleeding all
the same. I notice his smashed paper bag of Tony’s famous burger next to his head
as well as the remnants of milkshake against the wall and on the ground. I
wonder what he has done to deserve such an attack. But then again, who needed
an excuse to attack a guy like him. His features and demeanor seem to scream
‘Molest Me!’ in neon lights.
“Hey, punk!” I get shoved and
I stagger backwards a little, biting my lower lip hard enough to draw blood.
I’ll have to fight…either that or think up some escape plan to get us out of
here with our limbs intact.
“Hey!” I call out to him. He
lifts his head slowly, one eye (the other is half-shut from the beating he has
received) widening as he notices that it’s me. “Think you can run?” I ask, a
small smile coming to my lips. He tries to speak and can only settle for a
small nod instead.
“All right.” I turn to my
opponents and crack my knuckles, grinning with pleasure at the thought of
getting a good workout this evening. I can always envision them to be Saito and
pound them for as long as I can. That should help in the venting process.
As expected, they laugh at me
and I’m glad they’ve ignored the other guy for now as they all approach me.
“Hey, who the hell are you
anyway?” One of them asks again and as I watch Kamui getting up slowly and as
noiselessly as possible behind them, I arch my neck and drop into a stance,
ready to let it all go.
“Who the fuck do you think I
am?” I reply with a smirk and beckon them with a hand. “Nobody messes with my
kid brother and gets away with it and since I’m in a bad mood tonight, I think
I’ll just kick your asses and enjoy it tremendously.”
Pity the outcome isn’t as
cool as I make my threats sound.
~End Period Thirty-Five~