Chapter 23:
Final Farewells:
The Paquin
I open my lashes slowly, my
vision glazed and unfocused for a few seconds as I stare at the intricate swirl
patterns before me. It takes me another full minute to realize that I’m staring
at one of the many plush pillows on the comfortable sofa across the room.
Between us is a small coffee table which still holds a tray of empty dishes and
cups from our dinner the night before. Not that we ate much anyway. Beneath the
silver dome of the platter are remnants of Thai cuisine consisting of curried
rice dipped in spicy chicken sauce. Even thinking about it now makes me want to
hurl.
It’s a pretty fancy suite and
you can thank Archibald for placing us in here after the fiasco at the Maxwell
residence. I sigh softly at the memory, rubbing a hand over my eyes as I shift
beneath the blanket to get more comfortable. The cool 100% Egyptian cotton
sheets feel like silk against my naked skin and it’s easy to understand why and
how I could fall asleep so fast. However, my thoughts lead me back to the events
of the night before and quite reluctantly I might add.
After Duo’s passionate speech
to the adults, we made our way out of house and into the cold evening. Of
course it had occurred to me that we would have no place to spend the night,
but I didn’t have the heart to bring it to Duo’s attention. We only had one
carryall each, so I figured we could walk to the nearest motel if need be. But,
Archibald and Harold had come running out to meet us, each looking ashamed and
slightly embarrassed at what had just taken place.
“I can’t begin to apologize
enough,” the old man said with a small bow and slight shake of his head. “I had
really thought that she was ready to meet you…”
“It didn’t turn out that way,
did it?” I found myself retorting coldly. Duo was still walking towards the
limo that had brought us to the house, perhaps hoping to convince the driver to
take us out of here. “Do you people even think at all before acting or did you
just assume everything would be all roses and sunshine?”
“Of course we didn’t,” Harold
said with a light frown. “We were fully aware of the consequences, but we had
hoped that if the two parties could sit down and come to a compromise…”
“Bullshit,” I mumbled,
turning away with a light snort. “You seem to forget that Duo’s still in high
school or that he’s still a teenager and might not be able to handle all the
emotional stress you guys are heaping on him. He’s been through a long week
already. He didn’t have to deal with this.”
“And for that we are truly
sorry,” Archibald said, holding up a hand to prevent his son from cutting in.
“Perhaps we can at least make it up to you by putting you at a nearby hotel for
the night. It’s not too far from the church and we’ll have Jose be your
personal chauffeur to and from the hotel.”
I shrugged and turned to Duo,
who was now leaning against the black vehicle with his hands stuck within the
pockets of his pants. “Well, what do you think, Duo?”
He looked at us with a blank
expression on his visage before shrugging as well. “I don’t care. Just get me
out of here.”
There was a movement behind
me and turning around quickly, I noticed the curtains of one of the windows
closing quickly as if someone had been spying on us. Damn son-of-a…
“Will you at least come to
the reading of the Will?” Archibald asked with a soft sigh. “Daniel would have
wanted that.”
I opened my mouth to tell
Archibald that he could forget about it, when Duo pushed himself away from the
car and sighed heavily. “And if I don’t come?”
The two men exchanged a quick
look and I barely caught Harold’s small shrug as if saying ‘what are you going
to do?’
“I only ask that you
reconsider,” Archibald said with a small smile. “This is your future we are
talking about, Duo. Your father must have died feeling an intense amount of
guilt for not being more assertive when it came to you. I admit the decision to
give you most of his business endeavors and money was a dying man’s brash wish,
but he must have believed that you would be able to handle it.”
I fidgeted with growing
impatience, wishing we could get through the farce of this protocol and just
find a place to sleep.
And as if he read my mind,
Duo said quietly, “We’re tired. Just let me think some more about this, okay?”
“Of course,” Archibald agreed
quickly as he motioned towards the driver. “Jose will take you the hotel and
don’t worry; I will call them to let them know you’re arriving. Everything will
be taken care of. Again, we sincerely apologize for tonight.”
Yes, yes, we’ve heard that
all before. However, he wasn’t kidding when he said he would take care of our
lodgings. As soon as we got to the hotel, we were again treated like
royalty…till the point that it got rather annoying with the concierge hanging
around us like a lost puppy. It was Duo who finally snapped and all but told
him to get the fuck out (well, he wasn’t that rude, but you get the idea).
He shifts beside me, his
breath warm against the nape of my neck as he wraps his arm around my waist to
spoon me. Slowly and being careful not to wake him, I turn around to stare into
his peaceful features, my heart beating heavily within my chest at the intensity
of my emotions for him. His declaration to the Maxwells made me so proud and happy
that he acknowledges my feelings and knows just how much he means to me.
“I love you,” I whisper
thickly, resting my forehead against his while pulling him even closer to me.
His lashes flutter for a moment as if he’s heard my words in his dreams and I
hope he has in some way.
And as I brush my lips
against his closed lids gently, I whisper the words to him again. “I will
always love you…”
____
St. Patrick’s Cathedral
Saturday,
I’ll have to state for the
record that Duo looks damn good in my borrowed suit. But there’s also no
denying that today is going to be a really tough one for him. He had woken up
this morning in a somber mood, his motions almost automatic and listless. He
barely touched his breakfast of French toast and coffee, his features pale and
drawn as he whispered softly to me.
“I’ll finally get to see him
face-to-face…in a coffin.”
It’s one of the reasons we
are here so early. The funeral service doesn’t start until ten but Duo wanted
to be here to have some uninterrupted time with his father – which is perfectly
understandable. The priest in charge of the ceremony, Father Dugan, had (and no
surprise there) been shocked to see Duo walking through the doors of the
church. The Father was sure that he had seen the ghost of Daniel approaching
him and all but welcomed Duo into the inner chamber of the Sanctuary, with open
arms.
I am not a Catholic and have
never really been in a church as big as this but one can’t help admiring the
grand spectacle of the cathedral. With its medieval-like design, stained glass
windows featuring angels, intricate statues of saints in the vestibule and
enough pews to host over a thousand faithful worshippers, St. Patrick’s was
definitely worthy of its title.
“…sure about this, son?”
Father Dugan’s concerned
question breaks my reverie and I force myself to focus on the discussion at
hand.
“I am,” Duo says firmly, even
though I can see that he looks even more pallid than before. I reach for his
hand and squeeze it gently, reminding him that I’m here by his side.
“All right,” Dugan replies
with a small smile as he leads us into an ante-chamber. It looks like a funeral
home, complete with chairs set before the open shiny black coffin in front of
the room. It’s surrounded by over a million (at least it looks that way)
bouquet of beautiful flowers and as we walk further into the room, the fragrant
smells attack our senses mercilessly. Duo falters in his step and even I have
to swallow tightly as I realize that this will be the first dead body I’ve ever
seen. Knowing it’s my boyfriend’s father doesn’t help much.
Father Dugan has respectively
remained by the door, allowing us to our privacy and I can’t help wondering if
I should have left Duo alone as well. I mean, this is his moment with a family
member and I almost feel like an intruder…
“I can’t…” Duo says in a
choked whisper. “I can’t do this alone, Heero.” It’s as if he’s read my mind.
“I’m here,” I say quietly,
now all but leading him towards the coffin. “Come on…”
The words die in my throat as
we finally come face-to-face with Daniel Maxwell. He’s been dressed in a simple
black suit, a matching striped tie and nice-looking shoes. His hands are, of
course, crossed on his torso and I believe that is a school ring or army ring
as well as his wedding ring on his fingers. He was a tall man and even in
death, there was something rather imposing about him. I am sure that when
alive, Daniel could suck the air out of a room without even trying. It’s a
trait that Duo’s acquired – something else the two men have in common. However,
its Daniel’s ‘plastic’ like features that has me squirming with discomfort and
slight fear. I have heard of make-up being applied to dead bodies but Daniel
looked too pale for my liking. There was no doubt he was a handsome man and his
brown hair lay neat against the white silk lining of the coffin. However, I
tremble at the sight, almost seeing those closed lashes opening to reveal
piercing blue eyes.
I take an involuntary step
backwards and close my eyes, trying to erase the rather morbid image I had
forced in my mind.
“Why?” Duo’s whisper has me
opening them again quickly. I wonder if he’s talking to me, but I can see that
his attention is focused on the man lying before him.
“Why?!” Duo suddenly yells,
pulling his hand out of mine to move closer to the coffin. “Why didn’t you come
for me all these years, dad?!”
I notice Dugan – and two
other men in dark suits (pallbearers I’m sure), take a step into the room, but
I hold up a hand to stop them from doing so. I mouth to them that it will only
take a minute, but they don’t trust me. Not that I blame them. I just hope Duo
doesn’t plan to start shaking Daniel’s dead body in frustration.
“Damn it,” Duo croaks in
obvious pain, falling to his knees as he begins to pound his fist against the
side of the coffin. “Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!! Why can’t I hate you as much
as I hate mom, huh? The two of you…if only…”
He rises unsteadily to his
feet again and wipes the tears from his eyes quickly. To my faint shock, he
reaches into the coffin to lift a hand, my eyes widening in worry at what he
plans to do. I can hear the men move behind me again, but I turn to glare
coldly at them which stops them in their tracks.
Good grief! Allow the boy to grieve!
“Cold…so damn cold…” Duo’s
saying as he interlaced his fingers with his father’s. “So this is what it
would have felt like to shake your hand, dad. Hello,” he smiles weakly. “Nice
to meet you, Daniel. It’s me, your son, Duo. The one you never knew until it
was too late. There. Now, we’ve been introduced.” He makes a move to release
the hand and suddenly gasps at something before staggering backwards and almost
falling into me.
“Duo? What’s wrong?” I ask in
panic, watching his cheeks flush with color, his eyes now wide with something
akin to fear in them. He’s still staring at the still figure in the coffin and
suddenly I feel the urgent need to get out of here. I’m not superstitious by
any means, but that image of Daniel suddenly sitting up in this coffin…!
“He…he….”
“He what?!” I all but shriek
in growing alarm.
“He shook me,” he says weakly,
his eyes still bulging out of their sockets. “I felt it, Heero. I felt him
shake my hand too.”
Okay…that’s just what I don’t
want to hear. “You must have imagined it, Duo,” I say quietly but firmly. “It’s
just your nerves are stressed and…”
“I’m not making it up,
Heero,” he says crossly and releases himself from my half-embrace. He looks at
the immobile figure for a long minute.
“He heard me,” he finally
says with a small smile coming to his lips. “He heard me and he answered me the
only way he knew how. Come on, let’s go…”
Thank goodness!
“My work is done here,” he
finishes enigmatically which has me wondering just what the hell it all means.
__
St. Patrick’s Cemetery
“…ashes to ashes, dust to
dust. Thus we commit the body of our beloved friend, Daniel Maxwell to the
ground and his soul to a loving God…”
It’s a breezy but hot afternoon
and I can barely hear Father Dugan’s words over the whistling wind and the
flutter of leaves, as we all stand around the burial site. It’s a grand affair,
I can tell you that much. Since Daniel was in the military, there are several
soldiers here and cannons all ready to give the final salute to their former
comrade. Many of the guests – and there are a lot – are either dressed in black
or in full military regalia. The church service had been quick but moving as
many people close to Daniel, stood up to give eulogies in his honor. Duo and I
had sat on the sixth row, as far away from the main family as we could. Of
course many people had noticed him and murmured to themselves about the
‘illegitimate’ son finally coming home, but none gave him any trouble. They
smiled and even shook hands with Duo after the service and I could tell that
the gesture from the mourners was making the Maxwell clan quite uncomfortable.
Emily barely gave us a glance all day and even Amanda seemed to have gotten
over her crush on me since she too ignored us. It was Gabriel who,
surprisingly, kept looking over his shoulder at us during the service, as if
making sure that Duo hadn’t disappeared on him.
Even now, standing out here
under the blazing sun, I can feel the weight of his stare…as well as several
other curious mourners…on us. And again, Duo and I have stayed as far apart
from the main family as possible. We do not want to give the illusion that we
are trying to steal their thunder. The last thing I need is more dramatics from
Dr. Peter Garvey or his son.
As the priest drones on, I
try to stifle a yawn of weariness when suddenly the hairs at the back of my
neck stiffen in awareness. I frown in consternation, wondering why I should
feel this way when there are many eyes already on us. But there’s something
definitely different about this sensation and as I turn my head around a little
to look over my shoulder, I can see the lonesome figure of a woman standing
beside one of the many large oak trees in the cemetery. My heart skips a beat
as I realize who it is without even thinking too hard about it. That slender
figure and long brown hair is a dead giveaway anytime. Even though her face is
covered with a lace veil, there’s no denying the familiar piercing violet eyes
so much like her son beside me.
I must have made a sound
because Duo nudges me gently. “What’s got your attention?” he whispers from the
corner of his lips.
“No…nothing,” I reply just as
quietly, forcing myself to focus on the service again even though I’m burning
to see if Eleanor’s still around or not. For some reason, I feel the need to
speak to her. Don’t ask me why I have to do it. I just know that it’s a gut
feeling within me.
I steal another glance over
my shoulder, just as Father Dugan begins the last rites, and sure enough, I can
see Eleanor turning away to leave.
Oh no, you don’t.
“Heero?” Duo whispers
harshly, this time a visible frown on his features. “What are you…?”
“Bathroom,” I reply with a
quick nod before excusing my way through the crowd to chase after the elusive
woman.
I run down the small slope,
being careful not to trip and break my skull in the process, down to the parking
lot and blink in consternation as I see no sign of the woman….that is until I
notice her just about to open the door to a black Sedan.
“Eleanor!” I cry out quickly
and I’m pleased to see her start in shock at the sound of my voice. She turns
towards me and recognizing who I am, she tries to dart into the car again, but
I get there just in time to prevent her from doing so.
“What do you want from me?”
she asks, not looking at me as she lowers her head. She’s noticeably skinnier
than I remember and her once luxurious hair hangs limply down her shoulders.
She reeks of expensive perfume, cigarettes and wine and I have no doubt that
she must be digging her own grave by overindulging in such things.
“We need to talk,” I say
firmly. It’s hard to see the ceremonies from here, but from the low murmurs of
the crowd, I’m sure the service is over.
“Talk? Talk?!” Eleanor asks
in surprise, as if I’ve suggested the strangest thing in the world. “What you
could we possibly talk about? I owe you nothing, Yuy. You’ve won. You’ve all
won, so what else do you want from me?”
“You obviously came here
because you had feelings for Daniel,” I begin, having no intentions of letting
her deter me from what I plan to say. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have traveled all
this way for nothing.”
“God, not you too,” she says,
reaching into her purse to bring out a cigarette and a gold lighter. I watch as
she pushes the veil away from her face to reveal those beautiful features to my
gaze. However, her eyes are sunken in now with dark lines of fatigue or lack of
sleep around them. The make-up is a bit too much; her lips a blood-red color as
she sticks the cancer-stick between them. She inhales and then puffs out a
cloud of smoke.
“What do you want from me,
Yuy? Huh?”
“Nothing.”
“Then what are you doing
here? Shouldn’t you be up there being the perfect boyfriend or something?” She
laughs – a bitter sound that has me gritting my teeth. “Oh God, you boys…” She
sits down heavily on the driver’s seat and I can now see the bottles of alcohol
hidden within brown paper bags on the floor of the passenger’s side.
“Why did you come here,
Eleanor?”
“Why?” She inhales again and
then smiles bitterly. “I just wanted to see that bitch and my son being one big
happy family. Guess that didn’t happen, huh?”
“And whose fault is that?” I
ask coldly.
She looks at me and for a
minute, her eyes look bright with unshed tears, before she lowers them again.
“Don’t talk to me like you know anything, Yuy. I know that I’m not the most
perfect of mothers and I know I’ve done a terrible thing. I don’t need you to tell me that.”
“He’s never going to forgive
you, you know,” I say with a slow nod. “At least, I had hoped that when things
were good, you would get to see that I only wanted to be with your son because
I love him.”
“Love?! Hah!”
I try to control myself from
losing my temper. “Yes, love, Eleanor. Something you should learn how to do
someday.”
The first cannon salute goes
off and it’s a thunderous sound in the hot afternoon air. Eleanor visibly
starts at the sound and almost drops her cigarette. But as the second salute
booms out, a glazed and distant look fills her eyes.
“He was…” she begins thickly
and to my surprise, a single teardrop slides down a pale cheek. “He was a
brilliant soldier.”
“And he still loved you even
after all you did to him,” I say softly.
Her features crumple. “Oh God…Daniel…Danny…my
Danny…” She drops the cigarette and slaps her hands over her face, her
shoulders trembling as she begins to cry softly.
I stand there, feeling more
and more uncomfortable, not knowing if I should hug her or…
“Heero?! Heero?! Where are
you?!”
“Oh God, no!” Eleanor
whispers harshly as she seems to shrink into the car, still shaking her head
and covering her eyes. “Don’t let him see me. I can’t let him see me.”
Duo still sounds a long way
off. “It’s okay, Eleanor. I won’t let him know.”
“Thank…thank you.” She wipes
her face with a black handkerchief and tries to regain her composure quickly.
She reaches for a pair of dark sunglasses beside her and slips it on.
“So,” she begins after a
moment of silence. “So you really are crazy about that boy, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am.”
She nods slowly, her gaze
fixed on something before her. “Maybe you do…maybe you don’t,” she finally says
quietly. “You’re still young men and you’ve got your whole life in front of
you. Temptations are going to come and you might fall prey to them, Yuy. I know
my son and I know that he will remain devoted and faithful to you…but the
question is if you will remain that way to him.”
“I…”
She silences me with a cold
gaze. “You will take care of him, Yuy and make sure he’s happy. I failed him
and I don’t think he needs anyone else in his life to mess it up any more. As
much as I would have preferred a girl to be his soul mate, I guess I’ll have to
live the rest of my life knowing my boy’s into another boy. Must be my
punishment for not raising him right.”
“Eleanor, I’m not some kind
of…”
She waves a hand in
dismissal. “Save it, Yuy. Like I said, you’ve won and I wish you all the best.
Take care of Duo for me, that’s all I ask of you.”
She reeves up the engine just
as I make out Duo’s figure coming down the slope. I have to jump out of the way
or Eleanor would have run me over (and gladly too) with the way she peels out
of the parking lot. I watch as the car becomes smaller and smaller in the
distance while Duo walks up to me with a quizzical look on his visage.
“What are you doing here? Who
was that? You do know that the service is over right and…hey!”
I’ve wrapped my arms tightly
around his neck, holding him as close to me as possible, never wanting to let
him go if need be.
“Hold me, Duo,” I whisper
into his ear.
“What…but we’re outside…”
“Just do it, please.” I plead
softly, burying my face against his neck as I feel his strong arms around my
waist.
“Is everything okay, Heero?”
he asks quietly. “You’re trembling…who were you talking to?”
“No one important,” I reply,
planting a soft kiss within the hollow of his neck. I can’t tell him of the
conversation I had with his mother. It almost seems surreal to me now that I
look back on it. “No one important at all. I just want to…”
To show how much I love you, that’s all. To show that
I’ll never let you down and will always be here for you no matter what happens.
“So it is true then. Uncle
Matt told me and I didn’t believe him at first but now I see it is true.”
Duo and I pull apart quickly,
only to blink in surprise at Gabriel, who must have been watching us for a
while.
“What’s true?” Duo asks with
faint amusement in his eyes.
Gabriel looks uncomfortable
for a moment. “That you’re a queer.”
I wince at the term but gape
at Duo as he begins to laugh. “I guess your Uncle Matt’s right,” he says,
placing an arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to him again. “Heero’s
my partner.”
Gabriel’s cheeks fill with
color and he tries to scowl at us. “That’s just…weird. But…anyway…I just wanted
to say I’m sorry for what I said last night. It doesn’t mean that I like you
though, but…I think you’re kinda cool for talking to the grownups like that.”
Duo’s smile widens. “Thanks,
Gabriel. That means a lot to me.”
“Gabriel?!” Amanda waves for
him and then notices us as well. She flushes with color before looking way
quickly. “Come on! Mom’s looking for you!”
“All right, already! God, big
sisters are such a pain in the ass,” the boy grumbles and then begins to trudge
back up the slope. Halfway up, he stops and turns around to look at us again.
“Maybe we can hang out someday. I’ve got a really cool comic book collection.
Dad helped me get started.”
I feel Duo stiffen beside me
but his smile doesn’t waver. “I’d love to see it someday and then I can show
you how to shoot some hoops if you want. Deal?”
The boy grins in delight.
“Deal!” But his grin fades a little. “If mom let’s me.”
And with a quick wave, he
runs up the slope and towards his waiting sister as the rest of the mourners
begin to make their way down to the parking lot.
“I do believe you’ve gone up
a notch on the cool scale, Big Brother Duo,” I say with a smile, while nudging
him gently.
He blushes and nudges me back
as we walk towards the waiting black limousine with Archibald and Harold
standing beside it. “He’s a cool kid, I’m sure. I just hope he doesn’t have to
live with an overly protective mom.”
I can only nod slowly, not
trusting myself to speak as I remember Eleanor’s bitter parting words.
“So what plans do we have for
tomorrow, Yuy?” he asks. “We’ve got a whole day of nothing to do…”
I lean close to whisper
something into his ear, smirking as I watch his cheeks darken with color.
“Damn, you’re such a perv,”
he whispers and then bows towards the direction of his father’s grave quickly.
“I’m sorry, dad. I didn’t mean to encourage him to think of such perverted
things on your funeral and all.”
For some reason that sends me
giggling and Duo joins in the happy sound, trying his best to stifle it though
as we get a few puzzled looks. It’s a miracle we can laugh at a time like this,
but believe me I’d rather have it this way. A funeral should be a time to mourn
the loss of a loved one and yet to celebrate his or her life and look forward
to the future. I can only hope that this particular chapter has been closed and
that a new one will begin with a much happier ending for both of us.
~End Period Twenty-Three~