Pairings: Hikaru/Akira, Ogata/Akira
Warnings: Angst, lime and did I
mention angst?
Rating: R
Notes: Side story to the ‘Files’.
This story is divided into three sections or parts. We hear from Hikaru’s POV
and then Akira’s and then the final section is narrative.
Of
Lies and Betrayal:
Hikaru:
We
had been laughing at the idea of being caught in the rain. We knew we were both
going to be soaking wet by the time we got back to my place, but we didn’t
mind…really. We are both young and virile and the intensity of our game tonight
only did more to heighten our awareness for one another.
We
tried to keep it discreet. Our tender touches beneath the table – lingering
glances over the board game between us – and all the while thinking of just
what awaited us when we got back home. With the rain finally coming down, it
gave us the perfect excuse to make our escape. Giggling and laughing in
anticipation we made our way out of the building and began to run…but not
before stealing a breathless kiss from him in the safety of a darkened alley.
“Let’s
hurry, Shindo,” he had whispered to me – my need and hunger clearly reflected
in his voice.
I
placed my hand upon his and began to lead him to our paradise. We ran through
the street, getting soaked to our skin – allowing the cool raindrops to caress
our heated flesh. But at the back of my mind, a little voice cried out to me.
You’ve
forgotten something; it continued to say. But, I tried to shake it off – to tell myself
that it was only a figment of my imagination. And like a persistent mother, it
continued to nag and nag and nag until I could take it no more.
“Wait,
Touya,” I patted my pockets quickly, my eyes narrowing in thought, as I was
unable to hear the familiar jingle of my keys. “My keys…”
It
might be in your bag, he had suggested but I was already shaking my head in
refusal.
“No…it’s
not…” I shook the yellow backpack quickly and as expected I could not hear the
familiar sound. “I must have left it back at the salon. I have to go back,
Touya.”
“Shindo…”
he whined.
“I’ll
be back soon. I promise. Why don’t you wait for me somewhere…near…”
We
glanced around and I noticed – with a dull feeling of dread within me – that we
were standing around a place that I recognized quickly enough.
“I’ll
wait in Ogata-sensei’s place,” he suggested with a small smile. “But hurry up,
okay? I don’t think he’ll like me disturbing him at such a time.”
“Why
don’t you wait by the shop over there?” I suggested quickly only to wince as I
noticed the shopkeeper closing up for the night.
“I’m
going to sensei’s place,” he decided with a firm nod. “Go and get your keys and
pick me up once you are done.”
I
watched him smile and then begin his quick jog towards the towering apartment
complex. That feeling of helplessness and dread continued to grow within me and
I could not shake it off for some reason. I would have to run as fast as I
could to the salon, hoping that Ichikawa-san had not closed up for the night.
Luckily
for me, I was able to catch her just in time. Unfortunately, however, she was
already outside the building about ready to leave for the day. I begged and
pleaded with her to come back inside with me – which she eventually did. She
suggested I check in the ‘Lost and Found’ box behind the counter, as many other
customers had been known to leave wallets or keys behind as well. Like a beacon
of light, my keys glared up at me from the pile of other items and thanking her
profusely, I barely listened to her offer to drive me home, before making my
way towards that man’s place.
Touya, I pleaded inwardly. Forgive
me for feeling this way…but I can’t help it. Please, please be all right!
~*~
Akira:
I
was not afraid of being with Ogata-sensei. There was no reason to be, was
there? I had visited him many times before and I had always seen him as an
older brother. He is just as competitive as I am and we have both tried to best
each other over our games during the course of the years. So why then was I
allowing his actions, during our last match together, bother me so much? He had
been so…harsh and cold towards me and I hated to admit that it hurt…a lot. I
was getting rebuked by my older brother and all because of what? I hadn’t even
won the game! Did he hate me that much now?
But
what is this look in his eyes that I see? What is this tension that seems to
have risen between us? It is not one of hate that I sense from him…but
something else – something deeper, hotter and more intense. He is not dressed
in a way I have seen him before and I wonder why I feel so embarrassed and… feverish
watching his bare chest and torso. I find myself unable to look into his
eyes for very long because I am afraid I might get burned with his piercing
gaze.
But…this
feels good and I know I shouldn’t feel this good. I am wearing his shirt
and I can smell him all over me. I sit on his bed and then dare to lie on it,
feeling my cheeks growing hot as I imagine him lying right beside me. There’s
that unique scent of his again – spicy, hot and mildly exotic. I can feel
myself grow hard and I grow even more embarrassed with my thoughts. My
loyalties lay with Shindo Hikaru. I was only allowed to feel such things with
him – my rival, my friend and my lover.
But why – oh why am I allowing this to happen to me? I should be screaming and kicking him away, shouldn’t I? I am not supposed to enjoy his kisses, am I? My body is not supposed to feel this rush of heat that seems to curl up from my toes to the roots of my hair, is it? He whispers soft words of encouragement to me. He tells me he will make me feel good.
I
cry because of the pain and the betrayal.
Shindo, I beg inwardly. Forgive
me but I cannot help it. This feeling…sensation…it’s not like yours at all. You
are kind, gentle and wonderful with me and for that I am grateful. But
this…this is like nothing I have ever experienced. Hot, explosive and enough to
drive me insane with its intensity.
I
want more of this, Shindo. I need more of this!
~*~
Hikaru:
I
had to make the obligatory call to his apartment to let him know that I was on
my way up. No one answers for a long time and my inner demons threaten to
consume me with worry. I begin to pound the wall beside me in desperation,
hoping, praying that anyone would answer me and ease my inner turmoil.
What
was going on up there? Was Touya already asleep? Hadn’t he told Ogata-sensei
that I would be stopping by? Shouldn’t they have been ready to pick up the
phone on the first ring?
“Touya,”
I whispered desperately. “Answer me…”
“Hello?
Shindo?”
Finally!
I had almost cried out in relief and was just about to ask him to let the
sensei know about my arrival, when his undeniable low moan – a moan I had
heard before – filled my ears. At first I wasn’t sure of what I was hearing
and I tried to tell myself that it was perhaps my overactive libido imagining
things again.
I
continued to call out his name, knowing now that something was definitely happening
in there that had my blood boiling with growing anger. And yes, that little
nagging sensation at the back of my head was no doubt…jealousy.
I
had heard enough. My head was beginning to pound so hard that I thought it
would burst with my frazzled emotions. I ran up that flight of stairs, ignoring
the elevator, which would have made things so much easier for me. Like a mad
man, I rang the doorbell; pounded my fists against the door, anything!
To get them to hear me. I have the seen the way he looks at Akira whenever he
thinks no one is watching. I have seen the lust in his eyes. I have noticed and
I am no fool. I know he will not hesitate to take Akira away from me. It was
only a matter of time, after all.
And
then he opened the door and I knew then that I was too late.
~*~
Akira:
He
rejected me. It had all meant nothing to him. I felt sick to my stomach at the
thought – the notion that I had just been a quick fuck – something to satiate
his lust for the moment. I will not cry, as there really is nothing to shed
tears for. I should have expected it – should have told myself that he would
hold no real feelings for me, no matter how hard I try.
But
I am torn and confused. Should I not feel relieved that he feels nothing for
me? Is this not a good thing for both of us…no, the three of us? This was going
to be a secret between he and I. There really was no need to get anyone else
involved – let alone, Shindo.
I
had to lie and I was surprised to find that it had come out so easily. However,
I doubted that Shindo bought it, but he was wise enough to keep his peace and
not to aggravate the situation. I think he already knows and I am not sure I
know what to tell him if he does bring it up.
I
sometimes surprise myself with how well I tend to handle most situations. At
the moment, I feel like walking up to sensei and demanding he look at me. I
want to scream at him to tell me that he at least felt something while he was
taking me. Was I not good enough? Had I disappointed him that much? And why in
Kami’s name did I care?! I could see that Shindo was hurting, but my
selfishness would not allow me to acknowledge it. I wanted this man – this man
that I had once called brother, my sensei – to recognize me as something else
now.
But
I have known him for far too long now for I know that he will never say that to
me. I am nothing more than an obstacle in his quest to reach the Hand of God.
He
has crushed my spirit again and had foolishly allowed him to.
___
The
journey downstairs was a relatively quiet one. Both boys had given each other
small smiles as they had stepped into the elevator. On any other occasion, they
would have used this private moment to steal a few more kisses or to touch each
other in places that would make them feel even better inside and out. But they
could both feel it – the unspoken question that hung between them like a storm
cloud.
He
sank his hands into the pockets of his jeans, light green eyes staring
miserably at the simple black and white patterns on the floor. Beside him, his
partner stood primly - he staring at the simple brown pattern on the ceiling in
seeming fascination.
The
ride took an eternity.
Finally,
fresh air beckoned to them as the doors opened. The cool night air coupled with
the light drizzle was a welcome sensation to their fevered flesh. However, it
was a far cry from their emotions earlier that evening. Back then, they had
both been eager to be in each other’s arms. There had been thoughts of writhing
beneath soft cotton sheets, naked skins molding against each other as they
sought a much-needed completion.
“I
found my keys after all,” Hikaru said quietly as they stood beneath the red
awning of the building near by. “I was lucky to meet Ichikawa-san before she
left.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose with a sheepish look. “She would have
taken me home if I had allowed her to and you know what she might do to me.”
The
dark-haired boy laughed at the comment, knowing full well that it was a running
joke between them. They had realized that the young woman had begun making
passes at them at any chance she got and it was quite hilarious when you
thought about it.
“I
think she likes you better, Shindo,” he teased lightly as he stepped away from
the shelter to walk back onto the street. “Have you seen the way she follows
you with her eyes whenever you aren’t looking?”
“Like
Ogata-sensei does to you whenever you aren’t looking either?”
The
Meijin’s son froze in mid-stride, his hands clenching into fists at his side as
the blunt statement reached his ears. He refused to turn around – to
acknowledge that his friend had said anything. But unwillingly, he lips began
to form the words before he could stop them.
“I
do not know what you are talking about, Shindo.”
The
blond’s hands tightened within his pockets. “You don’t have to lie anymore. I
know, Touya. I know what he did to you…”
“You
don’t know anything!” came the furious bellow that had Hikaru shrinking back in
slight fear. He had seen that blazing look of anger in Akira’s eyes before. The
boy was breathing a bit harshly and there was a look of pure defensiveness in
his stance.
“You
don’t know anything! So don’t assume things that aren’t true!”
Hikaru
could feel his heart grow heavier by the second but he was angry too – angry
and disappointed at the boy he had thought he shared something special with.
“And
just what don’t I know, Touya?! Was he that good, huh?! Am I not good enough
for you?!”
“Shut…up…”
“What’s
the matter, Touya?! Can’t deal with the truth, hmm? Can’t see that he’s just
toying with you and just using you as a fuck toy?! Can’t you see…?!”
SMACK!
It
was loud and resounding. It seemed to echo throughout the nearly empty streets
as the few passersby turned around to stare at the two boys in curiosity.
Akira
took a small step backwards, a small gasp of dismay and remorse escaping his
lips as he held his throbbing hand to his chest. He hadn’t meant to hit Shindo
at all, but the boy’s words would not stop ringing in his head.
“Shindo…”
he began weakly in apology, but was more than surprised to find himself
suddenly being tugged by the wrist and led towards a relatively darkened corner
of the street. He could feel the tension roll off his partner in waves and he
became genuinely worried for his safety.
“Shindo?”
he asked again, trying to withdraw his hand from the tight grip but with a
light grunt of pain, he was pushed roughly against a wall – his dark green eyes
widening in confusion and then surprise as he felt Hikaru’s warm lips descend
upon his in a hard kiss.
He
was too stunned to react – to shocked at the sudden turn of events that he
could barely move or at least will his body to do something.
He
closed his eyes and wailed inside. He knew he was beginning to do it again. He
was beginning to compare Hikaru to Ogata-sensei and he knew that it just wasn’t
fair.
After
what seemed like an eternity, Shindo pulled away slowly with his head lowered
as he sought for something to say. His cheek still burned from Akira’s slap and
as if his pain wasn’t deep enough, his lover had barely responded to his kiss.
It seemed as if he had gotten his answer after all.
“Shindo…”
Akira began weakly, a sharp sting of unshed tears forming behind shimmering
depths as he longed to say something…anything to make the situation right
again. “Shindo…I…”
“Don’t
say it, Touya,” came the whispered words that seemed to be wrenched from the
very core of the Hikaru’s heart. “You don’t have to say anything. I already
know the answer.”
And
with a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, he sank his hands into the
pocket of his jeans and walked away without a second glance.
TBC…?