True Confessions 3:
Her footsteps felt slow
and heavy as she walked to school. She now realized that she had done a
terrible thing to Shin. After talking to her grandfather last night, he had
helped to ease the feeling of guilt a little but not completely. She tore up
the stupid plan in the sanctity of her room, deciding that honesty was the only
way to go. She would find Shin and talk to him – apologize and then try to make
him see that being in a relationship with her wasn’t the best of ideas.
“You need a nice, young
girl who can take good care of you,” she whispered to herself as she approached
the gates. “Not someone like me…I can’t be…”
“Uum…excuse me,” said a
soft voice that jerked her out of her reverie. She blinked almost stupidly at
the beautiful red-head standing before her. She looked…different and it
just wasn’t because of the uniform or the fact that she was…well…a school girl
standing before an all boys' school. It didn’t help that several of said boys
were all gaping at her in disbelief and awe; and why not? She was definitely
unique. For starters, she was quite tall for a high school student and her
features looked like she was multi-racial. Even her Japanese wasn’t all that
fluent and there was definitely an ‘expensive’ air about her – maybe it was the
perfume.
Yankumi glanced around
her quickly, just to be sure that the girl was indeed talking to her. But
seeing no other adult in the vicinity, she pointed to herself. “Me?”
“Yes,” the girl said with
a soft laugh. Wow, even that sounded just perfect. Just who was she?
“My name is Ayumi
Hayasaki…”
“AHA!” Noda suddenly
cried out in recognition. He and his classmates were among the growing throng
of students now gathered around the gates. “I knew I recognized your face
somewhere! You’re a model, aren’t you?”
A collective ‘ooooh!’ ran
through the crowd and even Yankumi was impressed. She had never met a model in
real life before and this girl definitely looked like one.
“Wow! A model at our
school!” she gushed as she self-consciously brushed her hair, which now seemed
even more limp and lifeless beside the thick wavy red locks of the visitor. “Are
you here for a model shoot or something?” Maybe if she was lucky, the
photographers would be looking for a teacher to pose for a shot or two.
“Ah…no…not really,” the
girl began with a shy look which sent all the boys sighing like the lovesick
puppies they had suddenly become. “I’m actually looking for someone and
needed….oh there he is!”
There he is?!
“Shin! Shin!” she cried
out in delight as she ran past Yankumi, almost knocking the teacher down in her
haste. Everyone’s jaw dropped in shock as the girl pounced upon the dark-haired
boy.
“Shin…Shin…” Kuma began,
trying to form the words that everyone else was having a hard time trying to
get past their locked throats.
“…has a girlfriend?”
Minami finally squeaked out in disbelief. “That traitor!”
“He’s been hiding her all
this time, no wonder he never shows any interest in girls here! With a babe
like that, who has time for the others?” Uchi deduced with a loud cry as the
four of them began to make their way towards the happy couple.
Yankumi would have run after
them, but she found that she couldn’t get herself to move. There was a sharp
ache in her chest…a feeling that she couldn’t really explain and didn’t want
to. Why should she care if Shin had a girlfriend or not? She should be happy
about this, shouldn’t she? This was all going according to plan, wasn’t it?
With Ayumi in the picture, Shin would no longer have any feelings for her.
“Yes,” she whispered to
herself as she began to walk towards the school slowly. “It’s all for the best.
After all, he has his life ahead of him.”
“Oy, Yankumi!” Uchi
yelled forcing her to stop as the boys soon surrounded her. “You’re still
coming with us to the bowling alley tonight, right? You promised!”
Had she? She stared into
their eager faces and then glanced at Shin, who was still talking to Ayumi with
a smile on his face. She noticed how low his hands were on her hips and Yankumi
felt her fingers tightening around the strap of her bag.
“Su…sure!” she cried out
too brightly. “I’ll be there tonight, don’t worry! We’ll have tons of fun, ne?”
“Yeah!” came the
resounding cheer. She lifted her hand to cheer as well and made the mistake of
glancing towards the loving couple now walking towards them. Amused and mocking
dark eyes met hers for an instant but it was more than enough to convey all
that needed to be said. She gritted her teeth and forced another bright smile
on her face.
“Hurry up, Sawada! Don’t
be late for class!”
Damn brat! She thought furiously as she
stalked into the school at a quick trot. He was openly mocking her and that she
could not stand.
“You want
me to what?” The man at the other end of the line asked incredulously.
“Please come,” she begged
fervently in a harsh whisper as she cradled the cell phone tightly to her ear.
“It’s just for tonight, Shinohara sensei. I know you have a busy schedule but
it would make me really happy, please?”
“Well…I…”
“Please, I’m begging
you!” If I have to sit through the evening watching Shin and his precious
girlfriend being chummy, I’m going to smash something.
Shinohara made no effort
to hide his surprise. He had never heard Kumiko this desperate before. “Ah…I
guess I could make it…”
“Oh, thank you, thank
you! I’ll make sure it’s fun for you! So don’t forget…eight o’clock, okay?”
She hung up the phone
before he could protest and gave herself a small pat on the back for her
genius. It would be so much easier to have the handsome lawyer around. It would
give her some peace of mind at least.
“Oooh, you look pleased,”
“Oh, I heard that,”
Kawashima piped in, clapping her hands gently in delight. “She’s so beautiful.
She’s the new spokeswoman for Revlon cosmetics, yes?”
“I also heard she’s going
to be doing a fashion show in
And this is…she
is…Shin’s girlfriend?! Yankumi thought in growing dismay. How in the hell had that boy
managed to snag a girl like that?!
She noticed the other
women staring at a magazine with the very girl they were talking about on its
cover. She was dressed in a breathtaking sequined evening gown that fell off
her creamy shoulders. Her long red hair fell about her face and shoulders and
her beautiful green eyes seemed to dare any man or woman to resist her charm.
It was easy to see how Shin could have fallen for a girl like that. Who
wouldn’t?
Yankumi bit her lower lip
and eyed her pale reflection in the small mirror on her desk. She tuned out the
chattering teachers in the background and focused her attention on her
non-existent beauty. Sure her grandfather, Kyo-san and even Tetsu called her
beautiful, but she knew they were only saying it to be nice. She didn’t have
long flowing red hair like Ayumi. Her eyes weren’t green but plain boring
black. Her lips weren’t as full…and let’s not even talk about her figure and
height. She had been mistaken for a boy more than a few times in her life and
her five feet and some inches in height wasn’t anything to brag about either.
She hadn’t failed to
notice that Shin had been far from attentive in class today – okay, so he
barely paid attention any other day but today he had been even more distant.
Not that it was to come as a surprise. After last night, it was a miracle the
boy had even showed up in class to begin with. And besides, with Ayumi back in
town, Yankumi knew she was only going to be second fiddle.
A set of papers were
suddenly placed on the desk before her, jerking her rudely out of her thoughts.
She lifted her eyes towards her unwelcome visitor, only to find her cheeks
getting hot as she met the wary ones of the boy she had been thinking about.
“Sa…Sawada…”
“I’m returning the
papers,” he announced coolly, barely looking at her. “Everyone finished on
time.”
“Ah…eh…thank you…” she
began, rising awkwardly to her feet, but he only shrugged and walked away in
that lazy gait of his causing her to flush in humiliation. How dare he? How
dare he walk out on her?!
“Sawada!” she bellowed,
slamming a fist on the desk. Ignoring the puzzled looks that came her way, she
brushed past the head teacher who had been making his way towards her for a
lecture and ran out of the room.
She found him walking
down the flight of stairs leading to their homeroom and growling softly, she
yelled out again. “Sawada!”
He finally stopped and
without turning around asked coldly. “What is it?”
Her fists clenched and
unclenched by her sides as she swallowed tightly and struggled not to run
towards him and punch his lights out. She wanted to scold him for walking out
on her like that, but remembering last night’s debacle, she felt the fight rush
out of her just as quickly. Sighing softly, she began quietly.
“About last night…”
He stiffened but made no
effort to turn around. She knew she had his attention nonetheless. She took a
deep breath and began again. “I just wanted to say…”
“Shin! Come, come! Your
girlfriend is live! We’re streaming the show on Noda’s laptop!” Minami screamed
as he seemed to show up from nowhere to drag the unresisting Shin towards the
classroom.
The dark-haired boy stole
a quick glance over his shoulder, sucking in a harsh breath as he saw the
disappointment in Yankumi’s eyes. His first instinct was to release himself
from his friend and go to her, but remembering his promise to punish her, he
turned away and allowed himself to be led into the room.
Let her suffer a bit, he thought ruefully, sitting down
on the chair they had kept specifically for him. Just as I suffer everyday
for you.
For a while, she
completely forgot all about Sawada and his issues as Shinohara walked into the
room. He looked dashing in a simple blue dress-shirt and dark pants. His eyes
lit up in recognition as she waved to him and she all but ran into his arms,
grateful for his presence while hugging him tightly.
“Thank you for coming,”
she whispered against his chest before pulling away gently.
“No problem. I needed the
break anyway.” He glanced around him for a moment. “So…where are your
students?”
“Inside,” she said with a
cheerful grin. “I just thought I’d wait here in the lobby for you.” Or better
yet, she hadn’t wanted to sit inside for a moment longer. Watching that
couple had begun to make her stomach churn uncomfortably. She could only shout
‘Fight-O!’ and act cheerful for so long.
“Come on,” she urged with
a wide smile. “Let’s have some fun!”
Shin felt
ill and it had nothing to do with the fact that all of his friends and even a
few patrons at the alley had been hitting on Ayumi all night. Not that the girl
seemed to mind one bit. She had always been attention-hungry and tonight, Shin
assumed she was getting a good fix. The dark pair of skin-tight jeans and white
halter top which barely covered her midriff sent all the men in the room
longing for her. He stared broodingly at his soda can, knowing full well that
it was Yankumi’s cheerful persona that had him on edge. He had assumed she
would be slightly…envious at least, but when she had given no sign or even
wavered at Ayumi’s excessive hugs and stolen kisses here and there, his
patience had snapped. Like a clockwork mouse, Yankumi had kept going and going,
laughing and cheering his friends on and even managing to get several strikes in
some games.
Did she really not
give a damn about him after all?
“Hey, everyone! Guess
who’s here!”
He lifted his head at the
sound of her voice and all but choked into his drink at the sight of the man
standing beside her. His fingers tightened around the can, hardly paying
attention to the slight cracking sound it emitted at the pressure inflicted on
it.
Shinohara. She brought
him here! I can’t believe it!
“And you know Sawada
already,” she was saying with a warm smile, pressing herself tightly against
the lawyer.
“Ah, yes. Nice to see you
again,” Shinohara greeted as he held out his hand. Shin eyed it for a moment
and then rose to his feet abruptly.
“I’m going to get more
drinks,” he announced tightly before turning away.
Yankumi’s eyes widened at
the deliberate insult and pulling away from Shinohara, she spoke coldly but
firmly. “Get back here and apologize, Sawada. Now.”
“This isn’t school,” he
replied just as coldly, turning slowly to face her angry countenance. “You
can’t order me around here, Yankumi.”
The others had stopped
playing their games to witness the battle of wills. Shinohara sensing that
things were likely to explode between the two placed a gentle hand upon
Yankumi’s arm. “It’s okay, Kumiko,” he said quietly. “He doesn’t have to…”
“He has to!” she replied
angrily, not tearing her eyes away from the equally furious dark ones before
her. “He will apologize to you!”
“Not till you apologize
to me first!” Shin retorted icily.
“Eh?” Kuma asked dumbly.
“Did something happen…?”
“Shssh,” Noda warned, his
eyes sparkling with mischief and acute interest. It was rare to see Shin angry
about anything. He wondered just what Yankumi had done to him to warrant this
passionate outburst.
“Apologize to you, eh?
Why? Because I was telling you the truth, you little brat!” She had returned to
her rough speech pattern and Ayumi, who had always assumed that the teacher was
rather sweet, gasped in surprise. Shinohara tried to stop her again, but she
pushed him aside and stalked towards Shin. Grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, she
glared into his unwavering countenance and spat out angrily. “Why would I
apologize to you, eh? You have disrespected me twice today, brat!”
“Like you disrespected me
yesterday,” he replied with a small smirk. “Don’t you dare look down on me either,
Yankumi, got that?”
“Why you…!” She formed a
fist to punch him, but it was stilled by Shinohara, who frowned lightly in
displeasure.
“Kumiko,” he whispered
firmly. “You invited me here to play with you guys, right? Then let’s play and
ignore this…for now.”
“Yea…yeah!” Ayumi chimed
in with a nervous laugh. “This atmosphere is too intense for me. Let’s try to
throw a strike, eh, Yamaguchi sensei?”
She stared for a moment
longer into Shin’s dark eyes, neither of them aware of how hard they were
breathing or the gamut of confused emotions that ran between them. Releasing
him with a light snort, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before
opening them to smile brightly at the lawyer.
“Forgive me, sensei,” she
said. “I tend to get carried away when trying to instill lessons to my
students. So! Who’s ready for a game?!”
“Oooou!” came the
resounding cheer from the others, who were quite grateful that the ‘fight’ was
over.
Shin straightened out his
shirt and glowered at the laughing woman. How typical of her to switch from one
emotion to another. She thinks everything’s a damn game! He cursed softly and
stalked towards the refreshment stand to get something to drink. And not for
the first time in his teenage life, he wished he could get himself a really strong
bottle of alcohol to drown his anger in.
She had
declined Shinohara’s offer for a ride home, preferring to walk to clear her
mind and spirit. She still couldn’t believe she had gotten that heated over a
simple handshake although she had the feeling it was just more than that. The
rest of the evening had passed by fairly well enough. Shin had refused to talk
or even look at her and she had made the best of it by engaging Shinohara in
several games and conversation.
As it turned out, Ayumi
was actually part Japanese (her father) and part British (her mother). She was
currently living in the United States and had only come down here to partake in
a modeling campaign for a brand new line of cosmetics and fashion wear. She was
only seventeen even though she looked like she was twenty at least. So how had
she met Sawada? Well, since Shin’s father was a diplomat of sorts, their
parents had met when they were much younger and their relationship had begun
from there. She said she had missed Shin a lot and was hoping that once the
campaign was over, she could move permanently to Japan to begin a new life.
That hadn’t gone down too
well with Yankumi.
Sighing softly, she began
to cross the bridge, only to duck behind a low wall quickly as she heard
familiar voices approaching. Shit! She thought they had both left earlier! What
were they doing here?
“Shiiiin,” Ayumi whined
as she stomped her foot like a petulant child and came to a stop. “What’s wrong
with you? You’ve been so absentminded all evening and I want your attention.”
“You always want my
attention. Didn’t you get enough from everyone else tonight?”
“I didn’t want everyone
else’s, I wanted yours.”
He made a low sound of
exasperation.
“Besides,” Ayumi
continued with a sullen pout. “I think the only reason you cuddled me this
evening was to make that woman jealous.”
Twin cries of ‘What?!’
rang in the air and while Yankumi slapped a hand over her mouth at her blunder,
Ayumi and Shin glanced around quickly in confusion.
They had definitely heard
someone else’s voice even though it seemed like they were the only ones on the
bridge at the moment. Strange.
“Well…aren’t you going to
deny it?” Ayumi asked still sounding upset.
“Look, I don’t know what
you’re talking about…”
“And what was all of that
about disrespecting you? Goodness! The way you two were acting, you’d think you
were a married couple instead of teacher and student! Is that the way it is
here in Japanese schools?”
Yankumi’s face was a
bright beet red. She still had her hand over her mouth, not sure if she could
trust herself to be quiet if she removed it.
When Shin refused to
reply, Ayumi whined again. “Shiiin, answer me!”
“So what?!” The boy
replied so suddenly that both women gasped at the vehemence of his words. “So
what? So what if I like her? Is that so wrong?”
Yankumi’s eyes widened in
shock, unknowingly mirroring the same expression on Ayumi’s face at the moment.
“You don’t know Yankumi
like I do,” Shin continued heatedly, glad for the darkness as his cheeks were
now blazing with color. “She’s not like any other teacher. She treats us with
respect and that’s something hard to find these days, Ayumi. She fights for us
and really gives a shit about what happens to us…so…so if I like her, then I
have a good reason to.”
He ran fingers through
his hair in a restless motion. “Look…I’m sorry if it looked like I was using
you tonight to…”
The sound of flesh
hitting flesh was painfully sharp and Yankumi winced at what must have happened.
It was clear that Shin had been slapped and listening closely, she could almost
hear Ayumi’s choked sobs.
“You bastard,” she
whispered fiercely. “I came back all this way for you! I love you, Shin! Do you
hear me? I love you!”
Yankumi could hear the sounds
of cloth against cloth and the muffled sobs which indicated that Ayumi was
probably hugging Shin now.
“I won’t give up on you,”
Ayumi said in a muffled voice. “Do you hear me? I won’t lose you to her.”
Yankumi sighed heavily
and wrapped her arms around her knees, closing her eyes as she replayed the
conversation over and over in her mind. She almost felt sorry for Ayumi,
knowing that her feelings would never be reciprocated…at least for the
meantime. She had always been that way with Shinohara sensei – hopelessly in
love with him and yet never knowing if he cared for her in that way or not.
“You can come out of
hiding now,” Shin said flatly causing Yankumi to open her eyes in shock.
Damn this kid! Why was he
too smart for his own good? And how long had he known anyway?
She fell to her hands and
knees on the cold grass and peeked from her hiding spot. Shin was leaning upon
the railing of the bridge, not even looking in her direction as his gaze seemed
to be trained on the moonlit water that flowed beneath them. Ayumi was nowhere
in sight and as if hearing her unspoken question, he replied coolly.
“Her limousine came to
pick her up. She’s gone.”
“Ah…okay…” She rose to
her feet and dusted the grass off her knees, coughing lightly, now feeling even
more self-conscious being alone with him. Shaking her head rapidly, she
reminded herself of her teacher status and walked up to stand beside him.
Together they watched the
flowing river for sometime; neither saying anything as they tried to digest all
that had taken place this evening. She stole a quick glance and noticed that
his left cheek was slightly swollen – evidence of Ayumi’s handiwork. She turned
away again and sighed softly. It was best to say it now.
“I’m…I’m sorry,” she said
quietly. “About yesterday…and today…and for…”
And for what else
exactly?
“Yankumi,” Shin
interrupted quietly but firmly – in a tone that the teacher had never heard
before. It sent her cheeks flushing with heat again and even though she knew
Sawada wasn’t staring at her, it still felt as if he was.
“Yes?”
“Will you let me do
something?”
Do…do something? Do
something like what? And what’s with that voice anyway? Why was it making her feel so…funny inside? Her heart felt like it was
about to burst right out her chest as her hands tightened on the cool railing.
Finally, he looked at her
and she sucked in a harsh breath. There was an earnest intensity in his eyes
that she had never seen before. This wasn’t an eighteen year old standing
before her – but a young man who knew what he wanted and was determined to get
it no matter the cost. Without intending to, her gaze fell to his full lips,
realizing with growing panic that they seemed to be moving even closer.
“Wh…what do you want to do?”
She licked her lips nervously and suddenly wished she hadn’t for Sawada’s gaze
was now hot enough to melt steel.
“This,” he whispered
thickly as he slowly covered the distance between their lips.
And in that heart
stopping moment, Yamaguchi Kumiko forgot to breathe.