That Thing We Do:

It was clear that whoever had the black stones was going to win, for the subtle movements and formations had a clear superiority over its white opponent. Unfortunately, for a good five minutes, not a hand had been played as the persons behind the game were currently engaged in a conversation that had little or nothing to do with the rudiments of Go, as we know it.

On closer inspection, one might have gotten snatches of a discussion that went a little something like,

“…and then he…”

“….no way!”

“….do you think I am…?”

“But…but…”

“Are you listening to me at all?”

“Ha…ha…hai…”

Like an obedient savant, the listener remained rapt and attentive to the words that fell from the speaker’s lips, brilliant green eyes widening with each tale as hands tightened into clenched fists on his lap. This was new. This was revealing. Who would have thought it? And before he could control his mouth, the question that had been on his mind for the past five minutes spewed forth with a fervor that sent the other blinking in surprise.

“Na…nani???”

“I asked you if it hurt?” came the desperate question again.

The speaker growled and placed his hands upon the goban, nearly knocking the stones off in his haste. His face was flushed, but it wasn’t from the heat of the early afternoon, rather it was due to the nature of the question. With a snort, he tried desperately to regain some sort of composure, before sitting back to the floor with a light thud. Folding his arms across his chest, he closed his eyes and muttered softly albeit reluctantly.

“Of course it did. What do you think?”

“Aaaah…”

“Aaah what?” was the defensive retort. “Now, don’t you go thinking anything right now. It wasn’t all that bad!”

A brow arched in clear skepticism as full lips curved into a teasing sneer. “Hah! And this from someone who gave me a book on how to score a home run with my partner.”

An indignant sputter escaped the other as the handsome features darkened into a dark red hue. “Kisama! You should talk! At least I have gotten that far with him. What can you say, hmm?”

The green-eyed teen had the grace to blush at the taunt, but he gave a light snicker instead, betraying the uneasiness he felt inside. “When I do it, it will be special. So, don’t you worry. I have everything all planned out.”

“Planned out, huh? Geez…I wonder how this would turn out since everything you have done so far has been a total disaster.”

“Shut up! It will be different and special, you will see!”

Honey-colored eyes blinked in surprise as they watched the other rise to his feet with an irritated look on his features. “Where do you think you are going to? We haven’t finished the game yet!”

The scowl did not lessen as he replied curtly. “I am tired and I am going home. See you at the Institute tomorrow.”

“Oi…come back here!!”

But all he got for his efforts was a loud slam of his door and the angry footsteps of his blond friend stomping down the stairs and back into the streets of the summer afternoon heat.

Gee…and they thought I had anger management issues. Well, good luck to you, Shindo. You are definitely going to need it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He was jealous.

Grr…why??? Why does he always have the luck?! Kuso!

His fingers tightened around the shoulder strap of his bright yellow backpack as he stood in front of the railroad crossing waiting for the lights to change. He bit his lower lip and stared at the ground, feeling even worse than he had felt when waking up earlier in the day.

/We did it last summer./

Kuso!!

/It just…happened./

Damn it!!

/It was kinda scary at first, but after a while, it wasn’t so bad./

I hate you, Waya!

But whom did he really hate? The red head for being able to go that far with his partner? Or was he just angry with himself for not being able to move any further in his relationship? He sighed heavily and shuffled his way down the street and towards his home, feeling as if chains of lead were now attached to them.

“Tadaima,” came the lackadaisical greeting as he took off his sneakers in the hallway. He closed the door behind him and stood still for several minutes. Hearing no forthcoming reply, he shrugged lightly and began the walk up the stairs.

Guess no one is home…

“Ah…Hikaru. You are back.”

He froze midway in his stride and spun around to smile wanly at the pleased expression on his mother’s face. She was dressed in her outdoor clothes and seeing that they were grimy with dirt, Shindo figured she must have been out in the garden tending the flowers again.

“Okaasan…” he began only to feel a strange chill fill his bones at the next words that fell from her lips.

“That friend of yours – Touya, I think it was. He called and wanted to speak to you. I told him you weren’t home and so he left a message saying that you had to call him as soon as you come in.” She stopped long enough to notice that her son looked a little pale. “Is everything alright, Hikaru? Would you like some iced lemonade? It is rather hot outside…”

“It’s okay, mom,” he reassured her quickly as he began to walk back up the stairs. “I should be fine after some rest. I played a rather difficult game today.”

“Ah…okay,” she replied with another small smile. “But make sure you call me if you need anything!” She called out, only to wince at the sound of his bedroom door slamming shut. “Oi, oi. We are going to have to buy a new door if he keeps up with that. Ah, well. I have to go tend to the azaleas now.”

And with a soft song on her lips, she put her son’s worries out of her mind for the meantime.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He could hear her beneath his window – the familiar tune of a traditional Japanese song filling the lazy afternoon, which in turn created an added feeling of sadness in the air. The soft chimes from a neighbor’s doorbell and a distant sound of a dog barking, caused the boy to close his eyes with a soft sigh. He placed his hands behind his head and tried hard not to think of what had been in his thoughts all afternoon. But, he couldn’t help it.

He was curious. He wanted to know what it was all about. He wanted to be able to experience that special thing that Waya and Isumi had shared. If they could do it and be perfectly comfortable and happy with the results, why couldn’t he? Why couldn’t they?

But the boy knew why and he hated to admit that the reason bothered him even more. He opened up his eyes and sat upright, while pulling his knees to his chin. Wrapping his arms around them tightly, he buried his face within his knees and fought the urge to scream. It was becoming frustrating. For over six months, since they had ‘discovered’ their mutual ‘admiration’ for each other, both had been treading on eggshells whenever it came to expressing their affections for each other, especially in public.

Why just getting his first kiss with the other boy had taken a lot of guts and courage and even then – he had been laughed at for his efforts. The second time hadn’t been so bad and they had even begun to have stolen kisses at every chance they got, but now…

I want to know what it feels like, Touya. But, I don’t want to be…

REJECTED.

Or what was even worse, Shindo had no idea on how to even bring up the subject, let alone to actually perform the deed. If he wanted to act confident and sure of himself, he knew without a doubt that he would have to ask either Waya or Isumi for help, since they were both the experts.

With a weak groan, he flopped back on to his bed and stared blankly at the ceiling. Great. What do I do now?

~Briiiing~

How do I tell him?

~Briiiiiiiiing~

What do I say?

~Briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing~

“ALRIGHT ALREADY!”

He got off the bed and stomped out of his room with a million and one curses on why he couldn’t get a phone in his own room, spilling out of his lips. Getting to the hallway, he picked up the phone and all but barked into it. “Moshi moshi?!”

“Aieee, Shindo. You don’t have to scream so loud.”

His heart seemed to stop and his fingers tightened around the receiver, his mouth suddenly going dry as the familiar voice filled his ears. “To…Touya?”

The other boy seemed pleased at hearing the blond’s voice. “Hai, it’s me. Did your mother tell you I had called?”

“I thought you said I had to call you back,” Hikaru croaked back weakly, a bit surprised to find that he could be holding a decent conversation at this point.

“I know that. But knowing you, you might forget or not call me at all.”

“Oh.”

An awkward silence fell before a soft sigh fell from the blond’s lips. “Did you want me for something, Touya?”

“Why can’t you call me Akira?”

“I told you to call me Hikaru first, and until you do so, I will continue to call you Touya.”

“Stubborn mule.”

“Stubborn oaf.”

“Bakayaro.”

“GAKI!!”

The last word had them both giggling, for Shindo had said it while impersonating Kuwabara sensei’s familiar raspy voice. Feeling the tension that had built up all day slowly dissipating, Shindo sank to the floor and smiled warmly.

“I miss you…Akira,” he muttered softly. “When are you coming back home?”

The dark-haired boy had had to leave Japan for two weeks - two very long weeks to Shindo – for a friendly competition in China. They had been in close contact throughout that time, but still, it felt as if they had been separated from each other for a lifetime. Hikaru was sure he could hear the other boy blush over the line.

“I told you, I will be back in a day or so, Hikaru. And then…”

Hikaru sat upright at the hanging sentence, his heart thudding so much faster as he held onto the phone like a lifeline. “And then…?”

Akira chuckled. “And then we can get to play that game you have been promising me, ne?”

The blond felt himself deflate at the reply, but forcing himself to sound cheerful, he gave a soft nod. “Hai. The game…it should be exciting…”

“I can’t wait to…”

Hikaru groaned softly and resigned himself to listening to Akira talk about their upcoming match and the ones he had played for that day. One would have been surprised to find that the usually silent dark-haired boy was this much of a talker, but not to Shindo. He was used to it and for the first time in a long while, he really wished that the Meijin’s son would be quiet for at least five seconds.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Isumi stared at the boy sitting across him with a small smile curving his lips as his red haired companion continued to sip his drink with a bored expression on his features even though he looked upset.

“So, you want to know what to do, Shindo?” He asked softly.

“I thought you said you could handle everything on your own?” came the sharp retort from Waya, whose scowl hadn’t eased off his visage. He was still very much upset over the other boy’s display the other day.

Shindo wished the ground would swallow him up and fast. He really didn’t know why he was doing this. Was he really this desperate?

“Maybe this was a bad idea,” he muttered as he prepared to rise to his feet. Anything was better than humiliating himself like this. But Isumi’s words had him gawking in surprise.

“You don’t need us to give you tips, Shindo,” he said softly. “You love him, ne? So when that time comes, it will all come natural to you. Books or tips won’t help…”

“At least tell him to get a lube or something,” Waya interrupted with a snicker. “Because it will hurt without those.”

Shindo felt his face heat up at the tease and swearing to kill Waya later, he gave a light bow to the older boy. “Thank you, Isumi-san. I will do my best. I mean, I will…eh…just thank you!” He finished quickly, as Waya gave up the fight to hold back his laughter. Showing the red head the universal sign of love with a middle finger, Shindo made his way out of the fast food restaurant and down the streets with a firm resolution in his mind.

He was going to get Akira to do it with him.

There would be no beating around the bush this time.

Go straight for the kill and don’t look back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was turning out to be another beautiful evening, as the hustle and bustle of city life faded into the peaceful sounds of the nearby lake and birds flying back to their havens for the night. A soft breeze completed the serene atmosphere, sending the two silent figures walking down the familiar path, sighing in pleasure.

A small smile came to the blond’s visage as he kicked at a pebble on the ground. He could never get tired of walking back home like this with his partner at any chance they got. Moments like these were always special and precious to him, even though he never mentioned it to the other. Even he could tell that the dark-haired boy enjoyed himself for it was the only time they could really let ‘loose’ without the added pressures of being so professional in front of the many adults that made up their world.

He stole another look at his silent companion, feeling his heart pound a bit faster as his gaze drifted over the delicate and handsome features he could never get enough of. From the unearthly glow that highlighted shiny dark locks to the curve of his perfectly-shaped nose, to the full lips that he had tasted for so many times now, Shindo Hikaru could safely say that Touya Akira was a beautiful creature. And for a brief instant, he felt an awkwardness wash over him for even thinking that he was worthy of being that intimate with the other boy.

His sigh wasn’t lost on the 6-Dan as he glanced at his morose-looking companion. “Shin… Hikaru…is everything alright?”

This was it, wasn’t it? The moment he had been waiting for. He would just have to talk to Akira about it now or there might never get the chance to do so again. He swallowed tightly and tried to give the other a small smile of reassurance. “It’s okay, Akira. I just…”

“You weren’t concentrating on your game today,” Touya cut in matter-of-factly. “If anything, you were playing as if you couldn’t wait to leave. What’s the matter with you? Ever since I returned, you have been acting so strange around me.”

Hikaru gasped in surprise. He didn’t think that Akira would be quick to notice his strained movements for the past two weeks, even though he had tried to be as discreet as possible. But it had been a tough act to put up. Every moment spent with the dark-haired boy had only done more to remind him of the next big step. Something, he did not have the guts to do or to initiate.

“Akira…”

“If you want to break up with me or anything of the sort, then why don’t you just say so, instead of acting like this.”

Shindo held out his hands and waved them frantically in denial. “No! No! I don’t want to break up with you! It’s just that…” The words faded into silence as he lowered his gaze to the ground and stuffed his hands deeper into the pockets of his blue jeans.

Akira stopped and pinned an intense gaze on his companion, his features never betraying the growing worry in his heart and mind as the thought of losing his friend seemed imminent. He tightened his hands around the strap of his bag and forced himself to blurt out the words that sent a searing pain down to his chest. “Is there someone else, Shindo?”

The blond shook his head again and turned his gaze away to stare at a nearby clump of wisterias with a fascination that he didn’t really feel. Giving a long suffering sigh of exasperation, Akira walked up to him and placed his hands on the strong shoulders forcing Shindo to meet his gaze.

“Talk to me, Hikaru,” he pleaded firmly. “What is going on with you…?”

“If I told you, you would hate me, Akira,” came the soft reply. Or worse, not wish to be with me anymore.

For the life of him, Akira could not understand what could get Shindo so worried. He felt a wave of helplessness wash over him and shaking his head rapidly to get rid of thoughts that bordered on the negative, he gave a small smile and wrapped his arms tightly around the other’s waist. Resting his chin upon Shindo’s shoulder, he whispered softly into the blond’s ear. “I won’t hate you, Hikaru. I could never hate you. You know that. Now, why don’t you tell me what’s wrong with you, hmm?”

Kami, he smells like heaven, Shindo thought ruefully as he enveloped Akira in the embrace, his eyes closing slowly as he inhaled the dark-haired boy’s intoxicating scent.

We could just do it here. I could just take off his clothes and just…just do it!

“Hika…Hikaru? You are squeezing me too tight. Hikaru!!”

“Ah! Gomen! Gomen!” He released Akira quickly, both of them now aware of how hot their bodies felt from the close contact and the possible notion that someone might have spotted their little act.

Trying to compose himself, Akira took a deep breath and asked again even though his voice was a bit unsteady. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong now?”

The blond bit his lower lip and found that the heat that had risen was making no effort to die anytime soon. If anything, he felt as if he was about to get a fever. He stole an almost shy glance and nearly lost his resolve at the bemused expression on his friend’s face. Finally, he opened up his mouth and gushed out rapidly.

“HaveyoueverwantedtogoallthewayAkira?”

“Eh?”

“I said…Have youeverwantedtogo…”

“Could you slow down? I can barely hear a thing you are saying,” came the rather impatient snap from the dark-haired boy, who was now looking as if he couldn’t wait to get home. “My mom is expecting me home tonight, you know.”

“Don’t you want to have…have…”

“Have what, Shindo?!”

The blond closed his eyes and cried out almost desperately. “Don’t you want to have sex with me?!”

There! He had said it and now Akira would probably think he was crazy and laugh at him. He lowered his gaze to the ground again, the dark stain of red on his cheeks never ceasing as he held his breath and waited for the verdict.

The silence that filled his ears, however, almost made him scream in frustration. Why wasn’t Akira saying anything? Even a snicker would do at this point. Finally deciding that hiding his gaze wasn’t going to help, he lifted his head slowly to steal a glance at the other, only to blink in shock as he noticed that the dark-haired boy looked just as uncomfortable as he did. Like Shindo, Akira had averted his gaze and was now staring at the wisterias with features that were clearly pink with obvious embarrassment.

Damn.

“Forget it,” Shindo muttered quickly as he spun on his heels and began to make his way back down the path. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it at all. So just forget I even brought it up, okay?”

He felt humiliated and ridiculously close to…tears? Why in the world would he want to cry over something like this? It wasn’t as if he had expected Touya to actually agree with him.

/When I do it, it will be special, you’ll see!!/

So much for that.

God, he was such a hopeless case. He hated to admit that Waya had been correct. He could never do anything right especially when it came to relationships. He would just have to wallow in his self-pity and live the rest of his life wondering how and if he would ever get the chance to be with…

“Hikaru! Hikaru wait!!”

He didn’t stop. Why should he? Akira would only want to make fun of him or to…huh?

The arms that wrapped tightly around his torso had his footsteps coming to a standstill. He could feel Akira’s face against his back and he tried desperately not to show how much the simple action meant to him.

They remained standing like that for several minutes, neither knowing what to say as the enormity of the situation hung over their heads like a storm cloud on a rainy day. But Akira’s hold on Shindo’s waist didn’t loosen and after what seemed like eons, he whispered softly against the yellow sweatshirt that smelled so much like the boy he had come to love.

“I would like to Hikaru,” he said quietly with his heart racing with emotions that he could not even begin to describe. Confusion, fear and worry, but with a faint tinge of happiness in his heart, he squeezed the other a bit more and made his intentions clearer.

“Hikaru…I want you…”