Pairing: Sasuke + Naruto
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Humor (of the crack kind!), Sap, Minor Angst

It’s another beautiful day in Konoha and somewhere within the thick forests it’s known for, two men stand before each other drenched in sweat while heaving and panting with the force of their earlier exertions.

“You…you were very good today, Sasuke,” the older man says with a smirk. “You almost had me at your mercy.”

“You weren’t too bad yourself,” the dark-haired ‘heartthrob’ replied with a matching smirk. “If you had moved any faster, I would never have been able to pin you down.”

“Your skills are getting better and better each day. I’m in awe.”

“But I’m no match for you…yet. Maybe someday I can really show you what I’m capable of.”

“Ooh, go easy on me now. It will be my first time.”


“Huh what?”

“What are you talking about? What’s this ‘first time’ thing?”

“Oh…I thought we were talking about the same thing.”

The ‘heartthrob’ scowls. “Damn pervert. I don’t know why I put up with you.” He spins on his heels and gets ready to walk away when the older man stops him with a loud bellow.

“I think it’s time, Sasuke!”

Suddenly (and believe me, I think the special effects crew are responsible for this) several sakura petals begin to float around them. The faint but undeniable sound of bells chiming in the background has our dark-haired wonder boy blinking in surprise.

However, a firm hand on his shoulder has him gaping at the taller man in confusion and faint irritation. He can see the twinkle of mischief in his sensei’s eyes and he knows that something’s afoot. Something he might not really like.

“How old are you, Sasuke?”


“And have you had your first kiss yet…hmmm…don’t answer that one,” he corrects himself quickly as he notices the combined expression of fury and embarrassment that crosses his young ward’s features.

“So tell me, Sasuke, when are you going to get yourself a girlfriend?”

The boy sputters. “A…a…girl…?”

“Yes, the thing that Sakura is. I’m sure you’ve noticed that she’s not like you in physical attributes after all this time.”

The boy flushes and he pulls away with a scowl. “I do not have the time for girls…”

“I know you’re still hung up on this celibacy thing, Sasuke and that’s all well and good but surely you’ve gotten some urges lately.”

“Ur…urges?” His voice has caught. He wonders if the older man had heard it.

“Well you know…sudden needs to go to the bathroom at very awkward times of the day because you feel a certain something…”

“Aah! Stop, sensei! There are certain things you can and cannot say to me!” He’s blushing. He can’t help it!

“Aaah, so there have been urges! Which helps to prove that you might actually be human, after all!”

But our…the heartthrob remains stubbornly silent. His cheeks are still burning with humiliation as he turns his gaze away and stares at something else…only to flinch suddenly as an image comes to his mind.

Ah, damn it!

The teacher eyes his student with a knowing smile. “Ah, my young ward. It’s time for you to spread your wings and to take flight into the world beyond your sheltered…world.”

What the hell is he talking about? the boy wonders.

“Find yourself a woman!” his sensei commands. “And tomorrow come back here with the knowledge of how a female mind works! Then and only then can you defeat me!”

Deciding that his sensei has been reading too many ‘Come Come Violence/Make out’ novels lately, the boy wanders away with a firm thought in mind. He would find himself a girl and he would prove to his dumb master that he was capable of telling the difference between the two!

Uzumaki Naruto is an unassuming young man. Besides his daily dreams of either becoming the next Hokage or kicking a certain rival’s ass, his thoughts are purely trained on one thing and one thing alone.


Those wonderful strings of pasta swirling in a hot pool of flavored water with an aroma that can send the strongest of ninjas withering in their tracks. It is the food of champions and he for one has never been known to turn down such a healthy and appetizing meal on any given day or night.

And now, before him, stands a bowl – a BIG bowl at that (just recently bought at a killer sale the other day – buy one get ten free!). He salivates and licks his lips. Blue eyes scrunch up with undeniable pleasure and just as he breaks his chopsticks and gets ready to dig in to his breakfast, his front door slams open and standing within it, is the one person who can only make his appetite shrivel into nothing.

He growls and then yells. “Sasuke, you idiot! Knock before coming into my house!”

“I need you, Naruto.”

“Eh?” The blond can feel something funny wiggle in the pit of his stomach. He feels his cheeks burn at the intense look in the dark boy’s eyes and he wonders if…


“I need you, Naruto!” the boy says again as he storms into the room to stand before his blond nemesis. “I need you to do that transforming thing…”

“Kage Bunshin…?”



“Hell no!”



They continue to stare at each other. Sasuke’s face looks flushed and he looks embarrassed about something. Naruto’s ramen is getting cold and he’s not finding it very funny.

“Could you help me out here, Sasuke?” he finally explodes. “I’d like to eat if I may!”



“Change into a girl for me.”

Naruto blinks and then blinks again. He stares into his ramen…then stares around him as if wondering if he had mistakenly stepped into a dream. Ah yes! He figures it out now. He is probably still in his bed sleeping and Sasuke is just another figment of his imagination because there is no way in hell that the Sasuke Uchiha could be asking him to…

“I won’t take long. I promise!”

“You won’t take long to do what?!” the blond shrieks a bit too…shrilly. He’s worried about something concerning the request but he’s not sure of what it is…yet.

Sasuke rakes fingers through his hair in frustration. This is clearly the hardest thing he’s ever done. Beads of sweat are breaking on his skin but he has to do this for his sanity’s sake.

“I just…I just want to see what a girl looks like naked,” he finally grates out through clenched teeth. “I haven’t…”

“Then go to the public baths and spy on them!” Naruto replies and begins to make an attempt to eat again. But his hands are shaking and he can barely get the strings of pasta around his chopsticks. Damn Sasuke!

“That’s petty,” the ‘heartthrob’ says around a snort.

“And this isn’t? Asking me to transform for you just so you could molest me?”

“I’m not going to molest you, moron! I just want to see…”

“Ask Sakura!”

“I can’t!”

“Why not?!”

“She’s…she’s…I just can’t, okay?!”

They glare and glare and glare and finally…

“Alright, alright! You’ve got two seconds to look and then I’m changing back. I can’t hold it for long anyway.”

He rises to his feet, while mumbling curses of every kind to the other boy who’s now trying to look as uninterested as possible (but we can clearly see that he’s getting into this).

And so placing the fingers of both hands together, he yells out a hurried ‘Sexy no Jutsu!’, and yes! Standing before the dark-haired boy is a girl of about sixteen with long, gorgeous blond hair done in ponytails on either side of her head. Her eyes are a piercing blue, her lips a supple pout of pink. Her smooth, pale flesh is a sight to behold. She’s full in all the right places….although, she currently has an arm over her naked bosom and the other between her legs to hide an obvious area.

She fidgets and tries to glare at the boy staring at her but she finds to her chagrin that she cannot keep her gaze on him for too long. She stares longingly at her bowl of ramen wishing she could just eat and…

“Turn around,” comes the firm command.

“What?! You don’t tell me what to do…eeek!”

Warm and steady hands are placed on her slender waist and before she can control herself, she shrieks again and promptly punches our poor heartthrob in the face.


Learn the secrets of being a girl, he thinks with a low groan. Easier said than done.

He opens his eyes to glance at the girl – who’s now a boy – slurping hungrily on his tepid meal. Sasuke holds the ice pack to his swollen cheek and sighs heavily. So perhaps he had gone the wrong way in trying to investigate female Naruto’s body. But from what he had seen, there was really nothing that fantastic about it. Besides the rather big breasts and wider hips…and slender shoulders…and let’s not forget the area that Naruto was so desperate to hide, the female body was nothing to marvel over.

He sits up and tosses the ice pack to the floor. He’s on Naruto’s bed and he realizes with a faint feeling of embarrassment that the blond must have placed him on it. He notices that the sheets are of a pale blue color and that his blanket is of a darker hue. He’s directly opposite a window that shows him the rooftops of Konoha. Sasuke bets it would be a terrific view from here either sunset or sunrise.

“If you’re done trying to molest me, you can go home now,” the blond says dryly as he glares at his rival.

Sasuke groans. “I wasn’t trying to do anything funny…”

“You touched me!”

“So what? I touch you all the time when we fight!”

“That’s different!”

“How’s that different?!”

“For one thing, I wasn’t naked!”

“For one thing, you weren’t a girl then either!”

“What’s your point, jerk?!”

Sasuke falls silent and ponders on the question. Yes…just what is his point? Kakashi had said that the secret to defeating him lay in knowing about the female mind. If that was the case, then Naruto ought to know a thing or two about it.

“I need to ask you a few questions, Naruto,” he says calmly as he focuses intently on his blushing teammate.

Naruto sees there’s no escaping this interrogation and so with a feigned yawn of boredom, he places his legs upon the table and crosses his arms before his chest. “Fire away.”

Sasuke nods in gratitude and takes a deep breath. “What’s it like being a girl?”

“How should I know? Do I look like a girl to you?”

“Idiot! I meant when you transform!”

“How should I know?! I just transform for a few minutes! I don’t go all day being a girl! I’ve told you to go ask Saku…”

“Does it feel…funny?”


“You looked so…so…” Sasuke tries to think of the right word. “…soft.”

Naruto blinks and can only gape at the other boy in disbelief. “….soft.”

“Yes…like…if I touched you, you’d melt away in my hands or something.” He’s embarrassed by the words he’s using, but he can’t think of any other way to put it.

Naruto ponders on this concept. “Well…maybe I do feel kinda…soft as you put it…”

“I wanted to hug you…”

The words had been said so softly that Naruto was sure he must have been hearing things. He clears his throat and shifts restlessly in his seat. He lowers his gaze, feeling his entire body flush with heat. “Ah…is…is that so?”

Sasuke’s not looking at him either and his face is just as heated as his companion’s. Had he really said that? Oh god! What would Naruto think of him now?

“If you wanted to hug me you should have just said so!” Naruto blurts out.

“I don’t want to hug you, I want to hug…eh…her!”

“Uum…I am her, Sasuke.”

“Will you turn into a girl for me again? I promise to make it quick and it’s just a hug…just to see if you’re…”



Weird request. But if this is what it takes to get Sasuke out of his home, then so be it. He’s really not beginning to like the ‘air’ in the room now. There is this something happening that’s making him feel all…funny.

“Quick hug…and that’s it,” he mumbles as he gets to his feet again. Sasuke stands as well and just as Naruto transforms into his female counterpart, he closes the distance between them very quickly.

Strong arms envelope the slim waist in a surprisingly tender hug. Naruto fights the urge to squeal or shriek or scream in…in…

“So…warm…” Sasuke mumbles softly as he closes his eyes and rests his head upon Naruto’s shoulder. “I’ve miss…missed this…”

He remembers the smell of fresh baked bread and well-made rice cakes, her warm smile as she packs him his bento box and the silky smoothness of her dark hair. He remembers her laughter, the feel of her fingers upon his cheeks, the coolness of her kiss on his tear-stained cheek. He remembers the feel of her warm arms around his small body as they fall asleep together. He remembers everything…and everything hurts.

Naruto flushes darkly as her arms tremble with the urge to wrap themselves around the boy before her. He smells so good – a mixture of sunshine and earth and something else she can’t explain. She soon feels something wet upon her naked shoulder and for a moment, she assumes that the roof of her home is leaking again, but when she feels Sasuke’s embrace tighten and the soft and barely audible sob that follows, it finally dawns on her.

The boy within her threatens to take over again, but she grits her teeth and then slowly allows her arms to wrap themselves around him. She understands what he truly needs and she knows that she’s the only one who can give it to him. Against her naked bosom, she feels his heart beat steadily. Within her blond locks, she feels his warm breath tickle the fine hairs against her neck. She will cherish this moment for as long as it takes for him to reminisce over the loss of a woman’s touch in his life.

I will always be here for you, Sasuke…whenever you need me…

She purses her lips and places a tender kiss upon his temple…but with a light ‘poof’ and a cloud of smoke, she disappears and leaves the real body behind.

For a moment, neither boy move, neither do they seem to realize that they are in a rather promiscuous position. But eventually, Sasuke does notice and his humiliation at letting go of his emotions is boundless.

“This…this never happened, Naruto,” he grates out tightly as he struggles to compose himself quickly.

The blond can only give a slow nod. He had felt it all and to be honest, he wasn’t sure of what to do besides saying…

“Yeah, I know it never happened. Now if you can just let me go…”

“Who’s holding you?” Sasuke retorts coldly as he unceremoniously pushes the other boy away from him. He hates to admit that in either girl or boy form, Naruto does feel great against his body.

“I hope you’ve found your answer now,” Naruto says with a small smile as he shoves his hands into his pockets and turns away. “Just don’t let me do that again or I’ll kill you.”

“Not if I kill you first,” the dark-haired boy replies with a small smirk. He wipes his face quickly, grateful that Naruto has the decency to allow him this moment of privacy. He begins to make his way out of the room and then stops at the doorway to mumble quickly…and almost shyly.

“So…eh…thank you for…eh…everything…”

He barely gives Naruto a chance to reply before making himself scarce. His heart is beating extremely fast and he realizes that he’s trembling a little. All in all, he’s not sure of what he’s learned about females, but what he does know is that this experience with Naruto is one that he’ll never forget…


The teacher eyes the student.

The student glares at the teacher.

Finally, the teacher sighs and scratches his head gently. “So? Did you learn anything, Sasuke?”

Silence reigns for several minutes as the younger man chooses his words carefully. “The female body is different in attributes, yes. And despite what you might think, I have hugged another female before. But yesterday, I held another one and I thought I would experience the same thing I usually feel. When I hugged Sakura, I was hugging a teammate…but when I hugged this girl…I was…I was…”

His cheeks darken with color as he mumbles more to himself. “I felt…like I was home again.”

“Being with hi…her…makes me feel like I’m home,” he finishes with a rare smile that makes him almost…beautiful. “I guess that’s the real power of a woman, ne, sensei?”

The teacher stares at his student with a matching smile although it is now one of respect. “I guess so, Sasuke,” he says quietly. “I guess so. Now, run along and go to hi…eh…her. She’s been hovering around here for the past few minutes.”

Sasuke notices a flash of yellow and orange amongst the greens and his smile widens in recognition. “Ah…well…see you, sensei! And who knows? Maybe this time, I can get her to kiss me.”

And with that, he ‘disappears’ from sight quickly. It’s unfortunate that he left so soon for he does not see that for the first time in his life, he has rendered his sensei completely speechless.

He sincerely hopes that his students listened very well during their Sex Ed. Classes.


Naruto Fiction

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