Pairing: Naru/Sasu
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Implied Lemon/Sasuke's POV/ Angst

I am always on the outside looking in. It’s an invisible circle that pushes me out whenever I think I’m about to make a breakthrough. A terrible band of steel engulfs my being forcing me to stand back and away from the light they seem to generate together.

She’s stunning, beautiful and absolutely breathtaking – the years have definitely been kind to her. She positively glows as she walks beside him and I can hardly blame her.

“Sasuke-kun,” she’ll greet as she passes. Her smile gentle, warm and as caring as her voice can soothe the most turbulent of souls.

How? How can I think of doing anything horrible to her? How can I wish that I were the one in her place? I have done nothing to deserve that position, so why do I insist on trying to make my way into that impossible circle of companionship? Why do I fear that I might do something that will end up hurting her…them in the end?

“Sasuke. You must join us for dinner tonight.”

“I…can’t. I’ve got to help…”

“No, no, no backing out today! She insists, Sasuke! She made her special stew just for you!”


“See? You remember! So come. Please say you’ll come?”

How can I say no to such a tempting offer? How can I ever say no to you?

Dinner is wonderful as usual.

They laugh and make jokes, their voices a perfect harmony in the small room that they’ve called home for the past few weeks. This isn’t the first time I’ve been invited to their place and I hope it won’t be the last.

However, her pale but beautiful eyes question me at every turn and I try my best to give coherent replies.

What do I plan to do now? Will I really accept the ANBU position? Her boyfriend will be joining soon…so I simply must join him as well.

Like there was ever a doubt about that.

Wherever he goes, I go. That’s a decision I’ve long made for myself.

He scratches his head and gives a nervous laugh. Beneath the pale glow of the candles upon the table, his features become alive. Gone are the chubby, glowing cheeks of childhood – instead the lines of a man who has known suffering and pain take precedence. His body will forever be flawless due to the ferocious beast within him, but I know that the scars will never fade in his heart. I have caused a lot of them and only time will tell for how long it will take for me to heal them completely.

If only he’ll give me a chance to do so.

“Dinner was great tonight, was it not?”

“Yes. As always. She’s a wonderful cook.”

“Haha! I’m lucky in that respect. I should lend her to you for a week or so.”

“No…she belongs to you…”

Ah hell…those words were ripped right out of the depths of my soul and it hurts. Oh dear god, but it hurts.


What’s that catch in his voice? He sounds almost…unsure of something. Be still my heart. He might just be contemplating a few things after all.

“What is it, Naruto?” Good. I sound composed enough.

“Ah…well…it’s just that…”

His hair is much longer. Did I mention that? It’s still shaggy on all sides, but it has a ponytail at the nape. It looks so…soft and perhaps if I just pretend to…

“Huh?” He blinks those wide blue eyes of his at me and I swat the air ineffectively behind him.

“A bug.” I shrug.

“Oh…well…it’s just that…the other day…Hinata and I were talking and she was saying that…”

He looks flushed and embarrassed about something and my impatience is getting the better of me, but of course, I’ll wait. I’ve learned to be very patient these days. It’s all a part of growing up, after all.

And believe me, I have grown up a lot.

“It’s…nothing,” he finishes quietly.

I sigh in disappointment and turn away. One step, two steps, three steps…four. I come to a stop and spin around again. He hasn’t moved from his position but I can see the question in his eyes.

What do you want from me, Naruto? What can I do to atone for my sins after all this time? Will you not walk away and call me a fool for clinging to a dream that will never come to fruition?

Leave me to my sleepless nights of wanting you. Leave me to my shattered notions of ever being happy with you. Leave me to wander in a darkness that I have created for myself - for my body is an empty vessel that can only be filled with a light that I can never attain.


He breathes my name and I am powerless to resist.

“We shouldn’t…”

“So wrong…”

“Not out here…”

“Not in there either…”

Hushed and hurried whispers of need. A groan. A moan. A taste of warm, salty skin. Teeth grazing, biting, nipping upon fevered flesh. The whisper of cloth sliding off and to the ground. Darkness shrouds us like a warm cloak – protecting us from the watchful eyes of morality and sanity.


Yes, say my name – over and over again until it becomes one with the soft evening breeze. My fiery lover, whose claws of death I’d welcome anytime. Devour me completely and make me clean again.

Like a musical composition under the guidance of a million stars in the heavens, we move slowly to a rhythm that only we can hear. But the tempo increases, the beats - a harsh and heavy throb within our hearts and in our minds. Our bodies become one, fusing, melting with a heat that sends us my blood boiling with lust. I am engulfed in his burning aura and never want to let go.

But the heavens can only hold us for so long for they send us crashing back to earth and to reality with a veil of misery that is nearly our undoing.

All good things must come to an end…

We dress silently. We cannot look at each other.

Yet another mindless and thoughtless act of passion. When will we ever learn?


“…never happened,” I finish.


“…love her. I know.”

“It’s just that…”

“…we gave in to something that we couldn’t…resist.”

We fall silent and I lift my gaze to the sky above us. I listen to him get to his feet and the tentative steps he takes.


“Go back to her,” I command firmly. “You know where to find me if you ever need me.”

I’ve put him in a moral dilemma and I guess it should be a suitable enough punishment for him. He will be with her as society demands, but he will come running to me at the end of the day when her body can no longer give him the satisfaction he deserves.

She is a sweet, wonderful girl and I had no plans to hurt her. But she has something that belongs to me and I will work hard to get it back.

I really don’t know how long I’ll continue to watch from the outside, but I will remain there for as long as I can until the day I can become a suitable replacement.


Naruto Fiction

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