Chapter 35

On Known Shores

Through an unsleeping night
Longingly I pass the hours,
While the day's dawn lags.
And now the bedroom shutters
Are keeping light and life from me.

-Shun’e Hoshi

Naruto:

Urgh.

The subtle waves of nausea were finally abating. Not being on a moving vessel of this sort in the past few months, my body was having a little difficulty getting adjusted to the ebbs and flows of the sea. The first few hours were spent bent over the toilet hurling out the contents of my stomach, and even with daylight peeking through my closed windows, it didn’t do much to help my general gloomy disposition.

In summary, I felt like shit.

With a weak moan, I covered my head with the scratchy blanket, the narrow cot’s edges jabbing into my sides as I struggled to make myself comfortable. You’d think with all the money Jiraiya had in his possession, he’d be able to get us a better mode of transportation, but no dice. In an attempt to smuggle us out as discreetly as possible, he had chosen one of the most inauspicious fishing boats at the port. It was a good plan, after all who would ever assume that he was traveling with two wanted fugitives in such an abominable contraption? It didn’t help that Shika and I were literally stuffed into empty wooden crates and dragged onto the boat by the fishermen. We were informed that there were some ‘special’ inspectors on duty eager to arrest us at first sight. I literally couldn’t breathe (even when we were finally released from our mini-prisons) until the port was nothing more than a miniscule dot in the horizon.

Farewell, my dear Korean neighbors. Your hospitality was top-notch.

My lips twitched a little at the sentimental albeit sarcastic thought even as memories of my last night in that country slipped into my consciousness like they had been doing for a while now. From stopping by the clinic to say my goodbyes to Dr. Woo, his wife, and Haku (who was still in deep sleep or coma and probably hadn’t heard half of what I rambled to him), to every single second spent with Sasuke – it felt like having to rewind a videotape several times over just to make sure I didn’t miss anything.

(was it all a dream?)

I turned onto my back; hands beneath my head to stare blindly at the aged and dank wooden ceiling above me.

(did that all really happen?)

I was sure by now Sasuke must have seen my stupid note, something I had written hastily with not enough time to go over it or make any changes. I hoped I didn’t come across as being a total moron, but it was hard really trying to convey just how much last night had meant to me considering everything that’s happened between us to that point.

(maybe it really was a dream and if I pinch myself everything will go back to ‘normal’ again)

I guess I was still in a slight daze about the whole experience to be honest. To think that Sasuke – of all people – would willingly offer himself to me in that way...man, talk about taking a step into dangerous territory. If I closed my eyes, I could still feel and relive every damn moment, can still smell him, taste him, hear those sounds of passion I never thought (in my wildest dreams) that a guy would be capable of making. It’s slightly embarrassing to admit that they only did more to turn me on back then (and now actually), but damn! Get past the first awkward stage of not knowing exactly how things work when it comes to making out with a guy...get the hang of it...and talk about getting your fucking mind blown. If the first go at it had been one of experimentation and ‘feeling out’, the second time around was much better in my opinion. We weren’t as frenzied, and we took our time savoring and prolonging our orgasms as best we could (which was pretty damn hard actually). Still it was amazing and something I’d definitely want to try again if we ever get that opportunity.

(trying not to get my ass killed will be a start)

And that promise he made? The one about keeping himself ‘celibate’ until I returned...what exactly did that mean? It was the sort of thing a girl would say to the guy she really loved or something, and though I had pestered (teased) him about it, I had a feeling Sasuke had been damn serious about it.

He must be...

I shook my head rapidly to get rid of the thought, telling myself that Sasuke was just caught up in the moment since it was technically both our first times doing such a thing (and in his case, the second time he’s been involved in such an intimate relationship), so his priorities were all mixed up.

(and yours aren’t, Uzumaki Naruto?)

Hn. Besides who was to say what would happen when he got to Tokyo and spent more time with Itachi and his buddies? Temptation was everywhere, and I had no delusions that Sasuke wouldn’t find someone else (male or female) to keep him company when he got the urges again.

(and what about you?)

I bit my lower lip at the taunting question from my inner voice. What about me indeed? What if I got the ‘urge’ to satiate my primal desires? Could I really promise to control myself when the time came? Who knew when next I’d get to see Sasuke again? What if we never see each other again? What then? Could I keep deluding myself in believing I’ll go my grave never having sex with another human being again?

I groaned and covered my eyes with an arm as I felt the dull throb of a headache approaching.

(ah fuck)

This was getting back into the stresses of relationships and wondering what should and what shouldn’t happen. Ugly flashbacks of time spent agonizing over Sakura’s behavior, in the latter stages of our relationship, had my heart sinking in misery. The last thing I needed was to be focused on Sasuke and what he was probably up to at this moment or his future liaisons with new sex partners. I was about to embark on a journey that would provide little to no room for such romantic idealisms. If I was to pull off this next stage of my life, I’d have to push all thoughts of Sasuke to the darkest recesses of my mind.

Besides, it wouldn’t do to give Jiraiya and Shika the impression that I was feeling lonesome and melancholy over leaving my ‘lover’ behind. As I mentioned in the letter to Sasuke, neither man had confronted me about our ‘disappearance’ yesterday, but I knew that they knew Sasuke and I were up to something, and if either man disapproved, they had given no indication of it. I did notice Shika didn’t speak to me much, but I attributed that to him being miserable about leaving Temari behind.

(none of their damn business anyway what I choose to do in my private time, right?)

Still, I did manage to reveal to Jiraiya what Sasuke had told me about the confrontation with one of Orochimaru’s spies at Sai’s apartment. Fortunately, Jiraiya was up to date with that information considering Shika had revealed the incident to him as well. It was agreed that they’d leave the info for Sasuke to deal with, besides we had little time left to mull over what the documents entailed. The ball was now in the Uchihas’ court. Let them decide what they’d do with Sai and his cohorts. My only prayer was that they managed to get out of the country safely. If there had been one other spy lurking about...what stopped others from showing up when they least expected it?

Fifteen restless minutes later, I gave up the task of trying to get some sleep and crawled out of the cot (nearly took off my head with the low ceiling) and staggered out to a very wet deck and bright sunshine. Odd. Despite the sun, it was still rather chilly, which forced me to wrap the blanket tightly around my body as I shuffled toward the port side. Several fishermen (five of them) sat in a huddle, playing cards and yakking about something I couldn’t quite make out. All the same, it was good to hear them speak Japanese as they acknowledged my presence with quick nods before focusing on their game again. There was no sign of Jiraiya, so I assumed he was still locked away in his cabin. However, I did spy my buddy sitting near the stern with eyes closed as if asleep though from the lit cigarette dangling from the corner of his lips, it was clear he was awake. He looked like he hadn’t slept much last night either. There were dark rings beneath his eyes, early morning stubble that needed to be shaved, and he hadn’t even bothered putting his hair in its usual ponytail.

“’Sup,” I greeted as I plonked myself beside him on upturned crate (having to push aside a few old ones that still reeked of sea life and remnants of shriveled seaweed).

Lashes lifted lazily to reveal bloodshot eyes before he nodded lightly. “’Sup,” came the muttered reply. He lowered his lashes again and we fell into companionable silence. I stared at the expanse of ocean before us, feeling something heavy settle in my stomach as I realized that in about a day, we’d be seeing the first signs of life...land...Japan to be exact. I missed home and though I wasn’t exactly going back for a life of peace and quiet, it was still my homeland; where I was born and where I’d hopefully die someday.

Just as long as my goals were achieved first that is.

I longed to tell Shika all this, to blurt out how and what this new phase of my life meant, but it seemed inadequate for some reason, and I was sure he was in no mood to listen to my drivel anyway. Eventually - and maybe it was the lull of the sea or the excitement of the past few hours finally catching up to me - I found my lashes growing heavier with every passing second. Just as my head was about to fall upon Shika’s shoulder in slumber, the sharp and delicious smell of something edible had me sitting up quickly. It was a reminder I had not eaten anything solid for what seemed like an eternity.

I sniffed the air like a dog and craned my neck around to see where the smell was coming from.

“Finally,” came the wry commentary beside me as Shika rose to his feet and stretched his arms over his head. “Let’s go get something to eat, man.”

He didn’t need to tell me that twice. Together we made our way down to the dinette, a tiny cramped space made worse by the presence of Jiraiya whose large frame seemed to dwarf everything in there. Both he and the captain of the boat were already helping themselves to some tasty-looking grilled fish while engaged in lively conversation interrupted every now and then by Jiraiya’s loud guffaw. Several bottles of beer sat opened on the table, and when both men finally noticed our presence, they ushered us in to sit with them. Where? On their freakin’ laps? There was hardly any room! Luckily, the captain was good enough to excuse himself but not before ordering the poor cook to whip up something for us quickly. Looked like the guy was on his last legs and not exactly enjoying his job, but dutifully he did as he was told and all but slammed our bowls of rice and miso soup (and the grilled fish) before us once ready.

“Itadaikimasu!” I bellowed happily, digging in before either of my companions could stop me.

Jiraiya chuckled and belched before sitting back with a sigh of content. Soon the familiar stench of his tobacco filled the air as he lit his pipe. I watched the rings of smoke absently, while my tongue, teeth and stomach savored the meal that was rapidly disappearing before my eyes. I wondered if the cook would give me seconds, but from the way the guy was already washing the dishes and glaring at us, I doubted he would be willing to do so. I eyed Shika’s plate. He was eating pretty slowly and didn’t look like he had much of an appetite. I debated begging for his meal when Jiraiya cleared his throat to begin speaking.

“The good news, boys, we should be back home sometime tomorrow night.” He smiled at us. “Home sweet home and all that good stuff. The bad news?”

Now what?

“...you’re gonna have to be stuck in the crates again. The port is swarming with watchdogs as of my last communication with one of my reliable sources.” He flicked out some ash from his pipe, the smile gone and his eyes now distant and thoughtful. “Should be no problem if all goes as planned. I will depart before you, under the guise of having some business affairs conducted in Busan. If queried I’ll have documentation to prove my case. The crates – with you two included – will be loaded onto trucks going directly to a warehouse a few miles from where I live. You are to wait there, bringing no attention to yourselves, until my assistant arrives to pick you.”

“Your assistant?” Shika asked as he picked absently at the fish with his chopsticks.

Jiraiya grunted. “He’s more of a private secretary and has been with me since he could walk. Trustworthy in other words.” He gave me a ghost of a smile. “In fact, it’s safe to say he and your father were like brothers while Minato was with me....well more like a little brother. Hatake Kakashi has proven to be loyal to me over the years, and I have no doubt you’ll take to him when we arrive.”

I pouted and said nothing. I already hated this Kakashi, and I knew it was only because of the tidbit about him being a ‘little brother’ to my father. This guy had spent more time with my Dad than I ever had the opportunity to. He’d probably have great stories to tell of him, while I’d have to suffer through the memories of what should and couldn’t be. It wasn’t as if it was this Kakashi’s fault that things turned out the way it did, but I still couldn’t help feeling this way. Pure envy. I prayed he’d be a complete asshole so I could really find more of a reason to loathe him.

“Secondly, you boys are going to have to be made-over from head to toe.”

I raised my brows. “What?”

“You look like a bunch of scallywags,” Jiraiya remarked with a quick appraisal of us.  “How exactly do you plan on making an impact looking like you’ve just walked off the street?”

“We haven’t exactly had the chance to do any shopping,” I began in protest, but Jiraiya held up his hand to silence me.

“Never you mind that, you uncouth little rascal.” He grinned and seemed pleased with himself for some reason. “By the time I’m through with you, you’ll be a whole new man, Uzumaki Naruto. You might be in the running to become the best assassin this side of the Eastern hemisphere, but we are also going to whip you into shape to become the best gentleman this side of Japan as well. Got it?”

Shikamaru, for the first time all morning, finally cracked a smile and hid his amusement behind the cup he raised to his lips. I scowled and pretended to act upset, though my heart was beginning to beat like a snare drum. I had no idea what Jiraiya planned to do with me (after all, I was yet to see any manual that said one had to be ‘polite’ before whacking your enemy) but whatever it was, I just hoped the end product would help me in the long run.

God knew I’d had more than enough ‘lessons’ to last me a lifetime.

__

Sasuke:

“Hmm...so you are baby brother Sasuke, eh? You are not appealing in any way...unlike your older brother.”

What the hell is this idiot talking about?

He parted his lips to reveal shark-like teeth, his pale visage almost bluish against the light filtering through the windows. Hoshigaki Kisame easily stood almost seven feet tall (I exaggerate of course, but you get the idea), and the tailored black suit he adorned definitely made him look like a member of the yakuza. I would have preferred he wore something else, because believe it or not, this made him stand out like a sore thumb. If his greasy spiked hair, scarred cheeks, beady eyes and sly grin weren’t enough to have people terrified on the spot; his attire would give them even more of a wrong impression. Itachi had given me an idea of what to expect, but this was ridiculous.

“Are you ready?” he asked, peering over my shoulder to eye the bags I had packed in preparation for the trip ahead. “Light traveler, aren’t you?”

“I’m not exactly going on a vacation, am I?” I retorted irritably. “You can take these.” I shoved two of the travel bags to him, leaving the one that contained Sai’s documents. That, I’d carry myself. “And give me five minutes,” I instructed while all but shoving him out the door. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

If he was annoyed at my brusqueness, he gave no indication, simply grinning again and giving me a mock bow. “As your Highness wishes. Five minutes and we leave. The boat isn’t going to wait for us forever, you know.”

I slammed the door before his flashing canines and forced myself to breathe evenly. I eyed the apartment that I had spent most of the day cleaning. I had already packed away Haku’s things and taken them to Karin’s room, so all that was left were the simple furnishings and décor he had added to a space that once looked empty and devoid of life. The flowers he had so lovingly tended now looked pathetic and shriveled, but I didn’t have the heart to discard them. In a way, seeing them in this state seemed to encapsulate the grand finale of our stay here in Buk-gu. We had started out in ‘promising’ fashion, perhaps naively assuming that everything would be all sweet and rosy by our return to Japan, but now...our departure seemed clouded with sadness and pain.

(we all eventually wither and die)

Earlier in the day, after finally managing to extricate myself from Naruto’s futon -

(damn the soreness!)

...and forcing myself to stop reading that godforsaken note for the one-millionth time, I paid Haku a visit without holding much hope that he’d be awake. However on arrival at the clinic, I was all but pounced upon by Dr. Woo’s wife, who was beside herself with excitement.

“He’s awake,” she blabbed happily. “Still weak and not speaking much, but at least he’s sitting up and did manage to take some soup this morning. Wonderful, isn’t it?!”

That was putting it mildly. I didn’t want to enter the room grinning like an idiot, and it did take all of my self-control not to pull him into a tight embrace as I noticed the pallid features and frail figure of my dearest servant (friend) propped against piles of pillows behind him. To see those large brown eyes light up at the sight of me had my heart thumping and brought a lump to my throat. I guess I needn’t have bothered about being too emotional because he immediately burst into enough tears for the both of us. Awkwardly, I sat on the edge of the bed and accepted his outstretched arms; hugging him as carefully as I could for fear I’d break him. He felt so damn light and wouldn’t stop trembling.

“It’s okay,” I whispered as he continued to sob against my shirt. Good thing the girls were still back at the apartment and Dr. Woo’s wife was smart enough to realize we needed our space. This was slightly embarrassing.

“It’s all over now, Haku,” I reassured him. I stroked his hair gently, never realizing just how soft the long tresses were and considering he hadn’t had a haircut in a while; it was practically waist-length now. “You’re safe...that’s all that matters, and you know what else?”

I pulled back, but just enough to cup his cheeks and to stare hard into those eyes that seemed to take up his entire face. “I’m really proud of you,” I admitted with all the sincerity I could muster. “What you did was incredibly stupid and yet the bravest thing you could have possibly done.” I placed a hard kiss on his forehead, receiving another tremble from his body at this. “I’m so, so proud of you.”

He couldn’t speak, and I didn’t expect him to anyway. His low choked sob was enough to tell me that he had heard my words and understood just what I was trying to convey. Making myself a little more comfortable on the narrow bed, I debated on whether or not to tell him of my adventure with Shika at Sai’s apartment, and yes, though I had plenty of questions about exactly what took place in that alley the other night, I knew this was also not the time to pester him with my curiosity. He’d tell me everything when he was fit to do so.

“Sas...Sasuke-sama,” came the barely audible words as Haku finally pushed himself away a little to sit up some more. “I...I -”

“Shssh, you don’t have to tell me anything now,” I interrupted with a shake of my head. Just speaking those few words was already exhausting for him. “There’ll be plenty of time for you to tell the whole story when we’re back home.”

He opened his mouth as if to protest, but seemed to think twice about it. He settled for giving a miserable nod and lowering his head, trembling hands clutching the sheet tightly until his knuckles turned white. I wondered if he was reliving everything as it happened, or if his comatose state had given him a minor dose of amnesia. Either way, the last thing I wanted was for him to strain himself for my sake.

“Jiraiya arrived yesterday,” I finally announced quietly, my gaze focused on the play of light and shadows against the wall as a gentle wind lifted the gossamer curtains. I could sense Haku looking at me now, his body language changing as my statement slowly sank in. He knew, as well as I did, what Jiraiya’s arrival meant; that right about now, he, Naruto and Shikamaru were (hopefully) miles at sea on their way back to a country that would not really welcome them with open arms.

“He said he was going to stop by to see you before leaving...Naruto that is,” I added with a small smile. “I guess you didn’t see him then?”

“So...it wasn’t a dream?” he whispered more to himself than to me.

“What’s that?”

Haku lifted his gaze to mine, a searching expression on his visage. “I heard his voice...faintly. I thought it was probably just a dream, but I guess not. He was here after all...he came...”

He looked around as if seeing the room for the first time, and I hated to admit that the expression on his face now (softened...as if in awe) had my heart doing a strange hard twist that I recognized as nothing more than petty jealousy. It seemed odd I’d have to feel this way considering last night and all that Naruto and I had shared. Unfortunately, this was only a reminder that despite everything...Haku still did have those feelings for Naruto, and I’d be naïve to assume he’d get over the blond that quickly. It would definitely be best if I did not mention last night’s shenanigans to him, though I feared the girls would still end up blabbing anyway about how much time Naruto and I spent alone. Haku would, no doubt, put two and two together to come to his conclusions.

At least I was glad I wouldn’t be around when that happened. I couldn’t bear to see his expression when it was eventually revealed.

“When are we leaving, Sasuke-sama?” came the soft query that roused me from my thoughts.

“I leave tonight with one of Itachi’s friends,” I explained. “His name is Kisame or something of the sort. You and the girls get to leave tomorrow night. We decided its best we leave separately in case of any problems that might be encountered. We will rendezvous in Tokyo where Itachi and the other members of Akatsuki are staying.”

“...and Naruto-kun?”

I bit my lower lip and shook my head. “He isn’t going to be with us, obviously. He’s with Jiraiya and Shikamaru...heading to Kyoto, I believe.”

“Ah...”

A pensive silence descended between us, where I was no doubt sure we were both thinking of the very same person, and just how much this person would ‘change’ when and if we ever met each other again.   

“I wouldn’t worry too much about Naruto-kun,” came the sudden statement that had me looking up sharply and at the now smiling visage before me. Had he sensed my concern? Or was it just his natural instinct to always think positively kicking in? His tentative smile became more genuine as he reached out to clasp my hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze as if to reassure me.

“Naruto-kun will come back to us someday,” he continued with a firm nod. “No matter how long it takes. I’m sure he’ll find us again when he wants to.”

“Still wearing those rose-colored glasses I see.”

He had the grace to blush, but I tapped his forehead gently to let him know I was only teasing.

“It’s all right to think and hope that,” I said aloud. “However, you realize that we are returning back to a country that considers us dead or the enemy. We are literally about to step into a war zone, Haku, so do me a big favor and try to get better fast, all right? I can’t do this alone without you by my side, remember?”

I couldn’t look into the eyes that literally shimmered with the promise of more tears at my blunt and honest declaration; hence I rose to my feet and pretended to stretch out my arms. A quick side-glance showed that he was trying to gather himself, perhaps realizing that his displays of emotion were getting a little out of hand. When he was satisfied he wasn’t going to start bawling like a baby, he took a deep breath and nodded firmly in resolution.

“I promise, Sasuke-sama,” he stated. “I’ll be by your side whenever and wherever you need me.”

“Good.” I smiled and held out my hand, which he accepted in a handshake that was determined. “See you in Tokyo in a few days, eh?”

“Yes, Sasuke-sama! Have a safe trip and please send my regards to Itachi and Shisui-sama.”

Consider that done, I thought to myself as I zipped up the last bag and rose to my feet. I headed to the bathroom to put the finishing touches to my appearance, after all ‘Uchiha Sasuke’ couldn’t be seen walking around the port when there were likely to be watchdogs (or more spies) on duty. The dark brown (almost reddish) contact lenses I had been given when we arrived would have to be put to use now, and though it stung a little, I had to admit they made me look a little more menacing to the casual observer. Unfortunately, the effect was countered with the non-prescription reading glasses I wore which gave the illusion of being a complete nerd.

(ah, you should see the way I look now, Naruto. You’d probably laugh your ass off)

With some effort – try getting my damn hair to fall flat when not wet – I finally managed to fit the shaggy brown wig over my head. It fell to my shoulders and made me look as if I hadn’t combed (or taken a shower) in weeks. I slipped a black hoodie over the mess, zipped it up and let myself out of the apartment, and though I would have preferred to slip away unnoticed, I still felt obligated to at least say goodbye to the women.

I braced myself for a dramatic scene of wailing and excessive displays of affection, but was surprised (and grateful) that both of them seemed preoccupied (and from the chaos in the room behind them, it appeared they were in the thick of getting their packing done as well). They wished me a safe trip and hoped to see me in Tokyo in a few days, although from the strained and reddened eyes, Temari was clearly miserable about not being able to see her man when she did get home. The agony of being separated again and having to wait on pins and needles daily to hear some kind of news about him was understandable. However, I couldn’t be the one to give her any false hope about his safe return. Just as I had told Haku, the future was going to be unpredictable.

“Took you long enough,” came the drawl from my travel partner as I made my way outside the building and into the waiting van being driven by Cha Heung. I ignored the sarcastic greeting, hardly glancing his way as his heavy frame settled beside me. With a brusque command to Cha Heung to take us to the port, Kisame settled back with a grunt. I could feel him eyeing me.

“You know what to do when we get there, correct?” he finally asked. “Itachi gave you the rundown?”

“Yes.”

He grunted again and realizing I was in no mood to engage in conversation with him, he proceeded to whip out a dangerous looking switch blade from his breast pocket...only to begin scraping out the filth beneath his fingernails in a manner that made me want to cringe in disgust. Of all the people Itachi had to send to me.

The journey was relatively uneventful, however as the van slowly approached the bustling port, I could feel my heart begin to thud a little harder and faster. It was almost midnight and yet there were several armed policemen patrolling the area. They seemed to be stopping the cars at a toll gate of sorts and with high-powered flashlights, peering into each vehicle and asking questions or demanding documentation.

(shit!)

Kisame sat up and tucked the blade away. Whistling softly beneath his breath, he dug into his jacket and this time, withdrew a white envelope that looked a little bulky along with an I.D. card and some other pieces of documentation. With my heart now racing a mile a minute, I tried to blend into the seat as our vehicle finally came to a stop before two officers. The glare of the flashlights made my eyes water as they were shone all over our faces. They began to speak in rapid Hangul; their voices curt and impatient. Cha Heung dutifully showed his license, and Kisame - still acting cool and unconcerned - extended the items in his hand to the officer barking at him.

There was a cursory glance given to the I.D. and documentation, and like magic, the white envelope disappeared into the officer’s uniform almost giving the illusion it hadn’t been there in the first place. With another barked order “I sang mu!” the officer gave us a curt nod, motioned to his partner that we were good, and waved for us to pass through the gates.

Fucking thieves!

And yet I knew this was only standard protocol for some members of the police. Hell, even the watchdogs back home weren’t spared from such displays of corruption. I have had my fair share of dealing with such officers in the past, and though kicking them out of the force had been a pleasure, a part of me had still felt deep disappointment at how far they’d go just to make a little extra money. It was aggravating considering that they were usually one of the higher paid government workers. Why be so fucking greedy?

“Don’t get too comfortable,” Kisame warned as we made our way slowly through the organized chaos around us. “There are some officers here who can’t be bought easily. Just keep your head down, and remember -”

“I am deaf and mute and just your...servant,” I managed to grate out with some effort. Kisame’s lecherous grin made me want to scratch it right off his face.

Fortunately, I was spared the agony of having to act out my new role thanks to a sudden commotion along a ramp. It seemed like two delivery trucks had a head-on collision spilling their contents (seemingly hundreds of crates of canned goods) all over the lot. With everyone running around trying to put things back in order, Kisame and I boarded the waiting fishing boat easily. More money was shelled out, this time to the captain who didn’t look like he gave a shit who was on his boat as long as he was paid for it. I was ordered to make my way below deck, where I was all but shut in a cabin (prison) until the journey was over.

“Make yourself as comfortable as possible, Sasuke-chan,” Kisame drawled through the peephole. “This is going to be a long trip.”

“Fuck off,” I grunted beneath my breath.

Still, I was more than fine with this arrangement for it would give me plenty of time to think and map out my future course of action. Naruto had his battles to fight, and so did I. Neither of us knew who the bigger ‘monster’ was, for both men seemed to have their scales piled with sins so heavy, they threatened to break the fragile chains supporting them. Unfortunately, little would I know just how far and dangerous Orochimaru’s madness had become.

(lest we succumb to the darkness within)

There was simply no going back now.

__

Naruto:

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Goddamn it...move!

I grunted and pushed even harder, every bone in my body aching from the numerous bumps and bruises I’ve suffered in the past god-knows-how-many hours since we got off the freakin’ boat. As Jiraiya had planned, once we arrived in good ol’ Maizuru, we were stuffed into the damn things again, dragged off the vessel, tossed into a truck and then went through a hellish journey where we were stacked against crates of rotten fish (at least I think it was rotten fish) and with a driver that didn’t seem to consider that there were human beings as part of his cargo. He seemed determined to drive like a madman, running through every pot hole he could find and jarring my already rattled bones. What’s worse is that we were unceremoniously dumped in this warehouse and no one bothered trying to get us out! For the past ten minutes, I’ve been trying to escape from my claustrophobic prison, and so far no luck. It’s as if I’m stuck beneath another crate, which would make things even worse, and short of screaming for help and attracting unwanted attention, I was trapped in this man-made Hell.

URGH! MOVE GODDAMNIT!

With all the strength I had left, I heaved myself up and shoved with my shoulders, having to bite back a cry of pain as I struck it at an awkward angle.

(FUUUUCK! That hurts!)

“Naruto?” came the sudden harsh whisper that had me blinking for a second in confusion. Either I was beginning to hallucinate or someone had actually -

“Naruto? Where are you?!”

SHIKA!

“Here! I’m right here, Shika!” I whispered back as loudly as I could. “I think I’m beneath another crate, but I can’t be sure. I can’t see a fucking thing, man! Get me out of here!”

“Hold on...I think I hear you from...ah. Here we go.” There was a lot of rustling and then louder grunts which proved my theory right. There had been crates stacked above me all this time. Fuck those lousy warehouse workers! Thank God for Shikamaru being around or I might have become forgotten goods.

With the lift of the crate above me, a merciful gust of air filtered through some of the holes in my dungeon. There were another series of light grunts as Shikamaru began to pry the top of the crate open, and with a final curse and yank, he was able to remove it. I just about draped my perspiration-drenched body over the side of the crate, sucking in gulps of precious air before flashing him a weary smile of gratitude.

“Tha...thanks, man. You saved my life.”

He grinned and tossed the crowbar he had used to the side. “No problem. Come on; let’s get the fuck out of here.”

He reached out to pull me to my feet, where I was allowed to finally take a good look at our new surroundings. It was a massive building and typical of many of the warehouses one is likely to find in such port cities. However, unlike most of the abandoned ones, dulled yellow light bulbs illuminated this particular warehouse that was filled with what seemed like thousands of crates of goodness knew what. It couldn’t all be fish because the smell was more metallic and oily. Weapons maybe? This could be a yakuza hideout for all we knew.

“Didn’t Jiraiya say we had to wait here for his assistant to come pick us up?” I asked as we trotted toward the large doors which appeared to be locked. Although peering through the little crack between door and wall, I could tell from the lights that it was nighttime. How late or early, we had no idea.

“Yeah...” Shikamaru agreed as he too peeked out. “But what if he’s waiting for us outside? How do we -?”

“Whoa!”

We had to jump aside as a near-deafening clang of some machinery we couldn’t see, began to slide the doors open in a slow grind. Being cautious, we ran back toward the crates to hide amongst them, hoping the newcomer(s) wouldn’t be an enemy we weren’t prepared for. A blinding flood of headlights filled the warehouse, a signal that it was a vehicle of some sort approaching. More deliveries? Would make sense if that was the case.

However, as the driver dimmed the lights (gratefully), we could see it was definitely not a delivery truck. The sleek, black sports car – something I would have given my left nut for if I was loaded – swerved effortlessly into position and for what seemed like an eternity remained idle as if its driver was unsure of whether to get out or not.

“Holy shit,” Shika breathed in awe.

“Holy shit indeed,” I agreed, silently praying that whoever this person was, he was going to be the one to pick us up.

Finally, the driver’s door opened to reveal a shiny pair of black leather shoes, gray well-tailored pants, leading up to a matching vest and jacket. Beneath this ensemble was what appeared to be a black turtleneck, but whereas most people tended to have theirs stop at their neck, this newcomer favored having the damn thing pulled all the way over his mouth.

(what the fuck?)

As if that wasn’t bad enough, there was a black patch over his left eye, giving his one good one a dark and impenetrable expression that was hard to decipher. His spiked hair was white, though he looked like he was still in his late twenties or early thirties at least. With a quick impatient glance at his watch, he stepped away from the car to eye the warehouse as if unable to believe he had been sent to this dump in the first place.

“Maybe he’s the one?” Shikamaru whispered.

“We can’t be too sure,” I responded. This guy definitely looked like he was a member of the yakuza, but then again, considering Jiraiya’s background...why should that be a surprise? And though he was skinny and didn’t look that threatening, there was still a latent power/aura around the guy that could not be denied. He wasn’t the kind of person you wanted to piss off that’s for sure.

“Let’s wait to see -”

“I believe you two men were expecting me?” came the clear and clipped query that had Shika and me looking at each other in surprise. “I am Hatake Kakashi. I’m sure Jiraiya-sama must have told you to expect me. Please come out of your hiding place. We have little to no time left to waste.”

So you are Kakashi, eh?

I rose to my feet and stepped away from the crates, barely hearing Shikamaru follow my lead. We stopped a few feet away from him, the three of us appraising each other for a long minute as if to make sure we were really the party the other was expected to meet. Not surprisingly, he stared at me the longest, no doubt trying to compare me to my father. I waited for him to smile and say something along the lines of “how you look like Minato” (and maybe I would have punched him in the face), but he did nothing more but give a curt nod and motion toward the car.

“Please get in and make yourselves comfortable. We have quite a journey ahead of us.”

Like he needed to tell us that twice. While Shika was busy bowing in greeting, I was already diving into the back seat where the rich smell of new leather and the overall luxury of the automobile made me sigh in pleasure. Damn. I almost felt bad having to ruin such fine upholstery with my stinking body and filthy clothes, but what the hell? This was the life!

“Nice, eh?” Shika said with a smirk as he sat beside me.

“And just think, in a couple of weeks, we could be driving the same thing,” I gloated and grinned as I sank back and placed my hands behind my head. “I could get used to this yakuza lifestyle.”

As Kakashi settled back into his seat, I caught his gaze through the rearview mirror. I couldn’t be sure, but I think he was smirking at my comment, and perhaps I would have queried him about what the fuck was so funny, but he was now pulling out of the warehouse which distracted me. Like a man deprived, and though it was dark and I couldn’t see much anyway, I leaned toward the window to peer at the passing scenery.

Home sweet home.

I had never been to Maizuru before, but how good it felt to see familiar signs in a language I could understand, and to see faces or people – though strangers – who were still likely to speak to you as if you were a long lost family member.  I honestly can’t remember dozing off, but the next thing I knew, I was being shaken awake by someone calling my name rather obnoxiously in my ear.

“Lemme alone,” I grumbled and tried to snuggle against the car door, but some idiot suddenly yanked it open and I almost found myself kissing asphalt! Who the fuck -!

“Welcome home, Naruto,” came the amused greeting as I glared up at Kakashi, while Shika was busy chuckling behind me. “We have much better sleeping accommodations, I can assure you.”

Grumbling beneath my breath, while giving Shika the middle finger for being so chummy with ‘the enemy’, I staggered after our host, noticing idly that it was still somewhat dark.

“What time is it?” I asked as I stifled a yawn.

“Almost dawn,” Shika replied. “The ride must have taken at least two hours. I dozed off too.”

“Ah...”

Whatever else I might have said died off as I realized just where Kakashi was leading us into. We were in a well-tended courtyard filled with enough exotic foliage to rival a national botanical garden. Amidst the raked white gravel gardens and Zen stones/rocks, were ponds of different shapes and sizes, many hosting koi in delightful electric hues of orange, red and blue (the rare ones!) as they drifted in and out of the bubbling waters gently. Every now and then, the familiar rhythmic sounds of a kakei would fill the dawn air, forcing me to bite my lower lip hard at the sudden wave of nostalgia to hit me.

We walked across an elaborate yet simple wooden bridge that seemed shielded with willow and sakura trees. I bet it would look great during the summer months. However, that paled in comparison to the splendor of the traditional Japanese home heralding us as we stepped onto ‘land’ again. The main house was huge with two intimidating statues of giant frogs (yes, I said frogs) flanking twin pillars leading up to a flight of steps. However, Kakashi didn’t take us into this place (which is where I’m sure Jiraiya lived), but to one of the smaller buildings that flanked it. It might have been small, but it still looked comforting and inviting. I was all but drooling at the thought of having a nice bath and lying on something that wasn’t likely to kill me in my sleep.

“Oooh, what do we have here?”

For waiting for us at the top of the short flight of steps were two beautiful young ladies, dressed in traditional kimonos (like geishas only without the painted faces), who were apparently going to be our servants for the night.

“They will assist you with whatever you need,” Kakashi was saying, though I wasn’t paying much attention. I already knew which girl I wanted, and I hated to admit that it was only because she had hair as black as Sasuke’s...though not cut in the same style. The other had sort of brownish-reddish hair almost similar to Karin’s.

“Jiraiya-sama will see you both later in the day,” Kakashi continued. “So try to get some food and rest. I bid you goodnight.”

With a polite nod of his head, he spun on his heels and seemed to disappear into the shadows. I swear you could hardly hear his footsteps.

Half-an-hour later, I felt like a new man. Literally. My maid/servant (whatever you want to label her) has been an angel so far. Her name’s Aya and she seemed to have a problem looking at me directly in the face. Or maybe they were trained that way. All the same, she has been the perfect hostess; assisting me with my bath (and no, she didn’t actually scrub my back or anything of the sort), setting up my futon and providing a quick dinner that I finished in one gulp. To top it all, she was now playing a beautiful tune on her shamisen, and I swear (or maybe it was because I was about to go to sleep), looking at her with her head bowed, her body so still except for her fingers strumming the strings of the instrument, I could imagine...just imagine her being a certain young man...except if I tried to picture him wearing such a feminine outfit, he’d probably kill me.

I chuckled weakly and allowed my lashes to drift closed in weariness while praying...hoping...wishing that someday...somehow...we’d finally meet aga...

“Rise and shine, Uzumaki Naruto!”

What the hell?!

I lifted my lashes in panic, my mind scattered and unable to comprehend just where I was for a second until I saw the amused visage before me. It was Kakashi, no longer in the expensive-looking suit, but in something more casual and yet with that damn thing still over his mouth. Did he have some kind of mouth disease? Or maybe he had no lips at all?

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I asked irritably. Goddamn it! Feels like I just fell asleep a second ago.

“You’ve been sleeping for almost ten hours,” came the wry reply. He nudged me gently with the tip of his shoe, which I slapped away in annoyance. “Wake up. You have a full schedule today.”

With a mock salute, he excused himself, which was good or he would have received a full fledged pillow to the face with that wise-ass expression on it. I had begged for a reason to hate the guy even before meeting him, and so far, he was giving me more fodder than I could have asked for. He didn’t seem to give a fuck who I was or that I was related to someone he had probably admired, and though I was glad he wasn’t going to beat me over the head with it, it still irritated the fuck out of me. Just who the hell did he think he was?

“Our new mentor,” Shika replied while we were eating breakfast in his room, and I had grunted the question at him. “Looks like Jiraiya’s leaving him to us for now. Wonder what he plans for us today?”

“Fuck him,” I grumbled and stuck some more rice into my mouth. “I’m going to make his life a living hell.”

“Stop spraying your food around, man. Close your damn mouth while eating.”

“And fuck you too, you brown noser.”

Shikamaru snickered and looked unapologetic. “Think of it as a grand adventure. It can’t be that bad.”

Oh, how wrong he was. The next few hours were spent being shuttled around like a pair of mannequins for Kakashi’s sadistic pleasure. We were first introduced to a couple of special tailors, who took our measurements and ‘hmmed’ and ‘aahed’ over every damn thing. Clad in disguises, we were then taken to hair specialists, who primped and cut and re-colored my tresses until I could barely recognize myself in the mirror when they were through. Shika got a trim as well and though his hair was back in its usual ponytail, it looked shiny and clean at least. Next stop, a clothing store to update our lacking wardrobe. Kakashi didn’t seem too keen on us picking anything too juvenile, stating we were now young men about to enter a world of serious-minded individuals. We couldn’t very well be seen wearing jeans and sweatshirts like bums. By the time we left the fancy store, we were laden with enough tailored pants, shirts, jackets, ties, and shoes to rival any of those pansy male models you see in magazines. Hell, he even allowed us to make a quick pit stop at a jewelry store, and though I wasn’t too big on anything flashy, I did settle for a nice looking silver necklace with what looked like a crystal prism at the end, while Shika selected a pair of diamond studs for his ears. Had to admit they looked pretty good on him.

“I used to wear them before I got arrested,” he explained later that evening as we chilled on the veranda after another hearty supper. While Aya entertained us with her shamisen, I lay on my back in repose, enjoying the peace and quiet –

(calm before the damn storm)

...as tendrils of Shika’s cigarette smoke danced before my vision every now and then.

“And here I thought you got them pierced while in that hell hole. Any significance to that?” I asked lazily. “Or were you just trying to look pretty?”

He chuckled and shrugged lightly. “It’s a family thing I guess. Always had them since I was a kid, so why stop now?” His small smile disappeared and his gaze became thoughtful. “The ones I had on before I was arrested...they were gifts from...Temari.”

Her name hung like a lead weight between us, and I knew he was worried about her current situation. By my mental calculation, the girls (and Haku) would probably be on their way back home now. Sasuke should still be en route or in Tokyo already, if everything went as planned.

“I’m sure they’ll make it,” I said aloud to reassure him and his unspoken fears. “Jae Weong and Cha Seung won’t let anything happen to them, you can bet on it.”

He tossed me a wan smile. “Thanks, man. I appreciate that.”

“Yeah...we’ve still got a marriage to settle anyway. I’m taking my role as best man seriously.”

In the faint gloom of twilight, the hues on his cheeks at my comment made me happy for him. I mean for all his seriousness, it was good to see that one or two things could make him act like a love struck teenager every now and then. I would have probably acted the same way if I was still smitten with Sakura except the tables were turned and instead of a pink-haired beauty filling my thoughts; I found them drifting back toward the dark-haired young man who had given me one hell of a farewell gift. I bit my lower lip and squirmed a little as unwanted images of our last night together came rushing back, and sincerely hoping Shika wouldn’t begin to query me about it, I pretended to scratch an imaginary bite on my arm.

Why hasn’t he brought up the topic though? I wondered warily. I’m sure he must be damn curious; after all he was the one who thought the whole hickey thing was weird enough. Did he really assume that Sasuke and I had spent all night simply talking? Shika wasn’t that dumb. He must have put two and two together, so why wasn’t he acting disgusted? Why wasn’t he pointing a finger at me and telling me how twisted I had become over giving myself to someone we both once considered the enemy? Was he really okay with it, or did he just not give a damn and had more important things to worry about? But then again, did I want to tell him about it? To explain the reason why it happened? To justify my actions to him...to anyone?

“Hey...I was thinking...”

I stiffened at his sudden quiet statement, my heart beginning to jackhammer in my chest. This was it. He was going to query about it now. What the hell would I say? Where could I even begin–?

“Since we’re here, I was thinking maybe we should find out where your father was buried and pay our respects to him. What do you think?”

I stared at his profile, my mind desperately trying to reconcile what reality presented and what my wild fantasies had conjured up. Though my heart was still racing, it was now for a different reason altogether. Shika was right. In my quest to hate Kakashi and to embrace my new role as an assassin, I had almost forgotten about that little rite of passage. An immediate wave of shame and sadness befell me at my pettiness, and I made a mental note to swallow my pride and to pester Kakashi about it or at least convince Jiraiya to tell me where it is.

“Might not even be here,” I mumbled to myself as I turned away. “Remember he left Kyoto to move down South with my mother. What if he’s buried there?”

“Bodies can be moved from one place to another,” Shika reasoned quietly. “I’m sure Jiraiya must have had his brought back here to his birthplace.” I could feel his gaze on me. “Just ask him when you get the chance. Couldn’t hurt, could it?”

No, it definitely couldn’t. In fact, it seemed I didn’t need to ask either, for the next day when we finally got to see Jiraiya (after what seemed like an eternity), it was the very first thing he brought up in our conversation during breakfast with him. It was also our opportunity to see his accommodations in the larger house, and boy...was it something to behold. I would go into more details about how simple and yet expensive each piece of furnishing looked, but just know that the main thing to stand out was that this guy did have some kind of affinity for amphibians (yes, the damned frogs again). I cannot begin to tell you how disconcerting it is to sit in a room next to a ginormous tank (I swear this thing took up half of the room!), in which sat the largest toad I had ever seen in my life. This ugly thing was at least three feet tall, with large yellow bulbous eyes that refused to blink, and with a skin that was a sickly shade of brown and mottled green. Jiraiya bragged he had caught “Gamabunta” during one of his many hiking trips in the mountains, and it had sacred meaning to him. Besides, Gamabunta was actually quite friendly when you got to know him better. It was just unfortunate he seemed to have a pissed off expression most of the time.

Whatever you say, man. All I knew was that this thing crept the hell out of me and I could barely eat anything. In fact, I was damned sure what we were having for breakfast looked like tiny tadpoles swimming in soup, and it was all I could do not to throw up.

Luckily, we survived breakfast with no vomiting or frogs leaping out of nowhere to attack us. Kakashi appeared as soundlessly as he normally did, but only to announce that the car was ready to take us to my father’s current location. Unlike the sports car we had arrived in with Kakashi, this particular vehicle seemed more ‘fortified’ with its tinted windows and the addition of an extra bodyguard, who occupied the shotgun position (Kakashi drove).

I had expected an, at least, hour-long journey, but was surprised to find that the temple and its burial grounds was less than half-an-hour away. Still, its location was quite tranquil and scenic; the perfect final resting place for a man who had only tried to live his life in such a manner. After paying our quick respects at the temple and picking up our supplies, we began the silent trek up the mountain with the aid of aged steps (must have been over a hundred or more) cocooned by massive trees that gave us some reprieve from the mid-morning heat. At the top, I gasped at just how beautiful it was from up here. You could see the entire city beneath us and the mountains shaded by layers of fog in the horizon. I swallowed the hard lump that came to my throat and forced myself to pay attention to the grave stones we walked past. Jiraiya – who was leading the way – finally came to a stop before one that looked no different from the others. Still, one could tell that it was visited regularly, for compared to some other markers, my father’s grave looked well-tended and so clean that the marble seemed to sparkle beneath the sun’s rays.

I reached out to caress his etched name – a simple Minato Namikaze – as well as the additional name given by the priests once a person went to the afterlife. The last thing I wanted to do was to begin bawling in front of these guys, but damn if my vision didn’t suddenly blur and a hard lump form in my throat. Fighting it down as best I could, I began the task of scrubbing the stones and cleansing it with fresh water. I was unaware I was gnawing on my lower lip that hard, until I felt the metallic taste of blood on my tongue.

Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy? Scrub.Scrub.Scrub. Whywhywhywhywhywhy did things have to end up this way? It’s not fair. Not fair. Not fair. Notfairnotfairnotfairnotfairnot...!

“It’s okay, Naruto,” came the quiet voice behind me and the gentle touch on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off angrily and kept on scrubbing with all the anger, hurt, and frustration I could muster.

“Naruto...”

“I’m okay,” I interrupted curtly, though my voice sounded like it came from a million miles away. I realized I had just about scrubbed off his ordained name, and just like that, all the fight in me dissipated as I allowed the brush to slip to the ground from boneless fingers.

I’m okay. I’m going to be okay, ‘tousan. Because I swear I’m going to make them pay. All of them. Every single last asshole that did this to you and ‘kaasan. The next time I come here, it’s to tell you that you’ve been avenged. This I promise you.

I wiped away the blood that had trickled down my chin with a finger and swiped it gently against the base of the gravestone. It looked morbid and obscene, and yet I swear it seemed as if the marble absorbed it greedily until nothing remained but a faint pinkish hue.

I chose to stay behind for a little longer while the others promised to wait for me at the bottom of the mountain. Anyone coming through would have found it strange to see me sitting on the ground and talking to no-one in particular, but I didn’t care. I did my best to share most of my life story with my dead father, now definitely sure that he was up there listening at least. My only regret was that my mother’s gravestone wasn’t beside his. I still have no idea where she’s been buried, and I think Jiraiya must have tried his best to find her as well to no avail. Still, I was content to pretend that both of them were probably together anyway.

“...and I swear I was never going to get into another relationship again,” I mumbled as I absently tugged on the hem of my shirt. “And don’t laugh, but...” I looked around me, my cheeks burning with color before leaning closer to the grave to whisper shyly. “...you don’t think what I did with Sasuke was disgusting, do you? I mean it’s not like we’re boyfriend and girlfriend now, or getting married or anything of the sort, but it’s just...I don’t...” I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair in exasperation. What was the point of telling them about him anyway? If the living couldn’t be a source of comfort in my time of confusion, what could the dead do?

“Just give me the strength to see this through,” I finally begged quietly as I clasped my hands before me and bowed my head in prayer. “May all those who now wield power that is not rightfully theirs be punished for their sins.”

As I finally rose to my feet and began to head back the way we came, a sudden chill – quite the contrast from the early afternoon heat – had me freezing in my tracks. It had felt like a gentle caress across my shoulders and the back of my neck; a sensation that continued down my arms and all the way to the tips of my fingers. At this point, the chill suddenly became warm; comforting warmth that brought a surge of tears to my eyes because I swear it felt like someone was holding onto my hands and squeezing them gently. I know it’s weird and sounds stupid, but it really did feel that way, and I knew the reason for it. Was it also my imagination that I heard my name being called in a disembodied voice that seemed to melt away with the wind? Perhaps. Because just as soon as this strange moment happened, I was all alone again.

I scrubbed at my eyes and took a deep breath, my heart now filled with a confidence and determination that had been lacking all this time I think. In fact, I was so overjoyed at ‘seeing’ my parents again, I almost missed the man waiting for me at the top of the steps.

“I thought you had left with the others,” I queried as he motioned for me to sit beside him.

“And I did,” he replied and puffed out a cloud of smoke from the pipe he had been sucking on. “But I came back to make sure you weren’t about to destroy Minato’s grave in your anger.”

“I’m okay now...really,” I said quietly before blurting out what I had experienced earlier. I expected him to laugh and tell me I was only imagining things, but I was surprised to see those dark eyes well up with tears before he nodded gravely and looked away.

“Typical,” he grated thickly. “Those parents of yours never did understand how to give up easily. I’m glad they got to see how well their son has turned out even though he can still be a knuckle head.” He reached out to ruffle my hair gently, causing me to blush and try to swipe at his antics.

“Well then...guess we can get started on the second half of your training,” he finally mumbled when he was tired of messing around with me. “And it, oddly enough, begins here.”

“Huh?” I eyed the gravestones behind me, but he was waving his hand around him.

“Meditation, Naruto.” He tapped his temple gently. “Do you recall me telling you that you’ll also have to strengthen your mind as well as your body? You’ve managed to do well with the body and physical aspect of things, but now, it’s time to teach you how to be more in control of your thoughts and how to mask your true emotions. It will not be easy, but we will do our best to teach you.”

“We?”

He nodded and like mirages from a dream, Kakashi, Shika, and two priests made their way toward us. It was then that I noticed Shika was carrying a travel bag with a sheepish expression on his visage. Just how long had he been on this with them?!

“You’ll be staying at the temple for the duration of your training,” Jiraiya was saying as he rose to his feet and smiled at me. “I hope you are ready, son.”

“Do I have a choice?” I asked with a weary sigh of resignation.

Jiraiya grinned and shook his head. “Afraid not, my boy. Choices are definitely not an option this time around.”

__

He wasn’t kidding when he said it “wasn’t going to be easy”. I mean, who knew the act of doing something as simple as ‘sitting still’ for hours on end could be such motherfucking torture? If I dared move or try to scratch an itch, I’d be flogged by one of the priests - who I’ve nicknamed “Evil Baldie” - across the shoulders. If I dared to crack an eye open, another lash. If I gave a long suffering sigh of boredom...whack!

Unfortunately, that was just the tip of the iceberg.

My day usually started way before the crack of dawn. “Quiet Baldie” would wake Shika and I up and lead us to the temple for early morning prayers, and may I mention that compared to our cozy accommodations at Jiraiya’s home, we were now subject to sleeping in conditions that made Byaku-Shinkyou look like paradise! Try sleeping on cold concrete with nothing but a thin pillow and blanket for company. Geez.

After a quick breakfast (that only made me hungrier when done), it was time for at least an hour of meditation (torture), before Kakashi stepped in with our training. My theories about the guy being dangerous and strong as fuck turned out to be true after all. He not only made Shika and I run up those damn steps back and forth several times, but we’d have to spar with him using bokken or shinai around the grounds, and considering I wasn’t that much of a sword fighter, I just about got my ass kicked most of the time. Shika seemed to have more fun with him in that department anyway. The best part came in having to test out my shooting skills. Kakashi would time me as I assembled and disassembled the arsenal of weapons he had brought with him. I blessed and thanked Sergei for his brand of teaching, for even though Kakashi tried not to look too impressed, I could see my proficiency did bring a smile or two to his visage.

After lunch was siesta. After siesta was another three-hour block of meditation (where I sort of tried to continue my nap, but you guessed it, Evil Baldie wouldn’t let me). Then there was the ‘etiquette’ class, where we were taught the intricacies of life in the yakuza and acting like gentlemen. Hah! Though I was already familiar with most of the terms, thanks to my association with Kojima, I was still amazed at just how much there was to learn about the damn organization. Factions within factions, clans within clans, bosses within bosses, knowing all the names of the major groups, its leaders, those I had to watch out for and those I had to become friends with. I had to familiarize myself with maps and locations of each main gang/clan/faction, know which ones ran which businesses, know which turfs were off limits, and which ones I could plant seeds of discord in. It really was all confusing and headache inducing, and if it wasn’t for Shika helping me study them each night, I swear I’d be so lost it wasn’t even funny. He came up with a cool way for me to remember stuff too, like whenever we were doing our run up and down the mountain, for each step, it would represent the name of a member of a particular clan or group. The top step was always easy to remember as that involved the bastards I was gunning after.

Ryoichi Ikegami and Shimura Danzo.

I would make a point to spit on that step and curse it out as loud as I could...at least until Evil Baldie would show up to flog me right down the steps telling me I couldn’t be cursing that loud in a sacred place.

Ah fuck him.

Two weeks went by pretty fast, and I was glad to report that by then, I had finally gotten the hang of meditating because the next phase of my training required me to use every single restraint I could think of.

I was going to be put through torture simulations.

It was a chance to see a side of Jiraiya I never wanted to see ever again. It was a side that had probably made him such a feared member of his faction while active, and I could see why he must have been in line to become a kumichō if he had chosen to go that route.

The first night was easily the worst. Totally unprepared for what was to happen, I was given a rude awakening when I felt a hand covering my nose and mouth before I was dragged out of my cold bed with my hands bound in ropes that dug into the flesh of my wrists. Blindfolded and not sure of where the fuck I was being taken to, I was forced to recall the darkness and misery of my stay at the dungeons of Byaku-Shinkyou. Fear was like a tangible thing; heavy on my tongue and enough to make a grown man break into tears. For endless hours, I remained in my darkened Hell, trying to breathe as normally as I could and to control my emotions as I had been taught so far. Days probably drifted into nights, and I lost count of how long I had been kept here. I wasn’t given any food or water either, but thanks to the smaller portions we had been fed since our stay here, my stomach and body was now used to dealing with hunger pangs and thirst.

Eventually, and just when I thought I was close to my breaking point, a burst of light filtered through the dark cloth as the door to my prison was opened abruptly.

(don’t speak or beg for mercy)

I was dragged to my feet and shoved into yet another room, but this time I was placed on a chair and finally allowed to see. Took almost a full minute for me to regain my sight, and when I was sure I had stopped seeing stars, I realized I was in a claustrophobic room, where three huge men - I had never seen before - and Jiraiya stood before me...unsmiling.

He paced around me in a manner that made me nervous, but recalling my training, I did my best to ‘get away’ from the present. What had once taken me nearly hours to achieve, now almost seemed effortless. All I had to do was take a deep breath, close my eyes for a minute and picture myself in a place as far away from this room as possible. In this ‘place’, I was to feel no pain or acknowledge the presence/concept of pain.

(breathe and contemplate on the body...focus)

“What do you know?” came the sudden cold question wretched from the echelons of my self-induced abyss. “Tell us! What do you know?!”

(don’t speak or beg for mercy)

(breathe long....breathe deep...focus)

The first strike to my cheek nearly took out my jaw (or probably dislocated it), but I only grit my teeth and bore it in silence, absently swallowing the fill of blood within my mouth.

(don’t speak or beg for mercy)

(breathe short...breathe deep...focus)

“Where is the money?! Who do you work for?! Who sent you here?!”

The questions seemed to pummel me from all sides; voices welling into frenzied crescendos that merged into one loud roar within my ears. These were interspersed with hits and blows to my head, stomach, shoulders, and even my legs weren’t spared. It got so bad that one particular blow to my torso had me vomiting on myself, but that didn’t stop them. Through eyes that now felt swollen and a nose that was probably broken, I sneered at my torturers and even spat out a wad of blood at the huge asshole threatening me. It was the last thing I’d see (or do) before he knocked me out cold.

When I eventually came to, Shika was kneeling at my side in our ‘bedroom’, dabbing something soothing to my wounds. When he noticed me watching him, he shook his head with a small smile.

“You fucker,” he praised reluctantly. “Can’t believe you survived all that. Even I was cringing for you from the outside. Jiraiya said you were already like a pro.”

I grinned (hell, even that was painful to do). “I’ve got to thank Byaku-Shinkyou and Sergei for the training so far. What happened in there was child’s play compared to the shit I went through.”

“I hear you.” He motioned for me to turn onto my back so he could continue his treatment.

Ah bliss.

“How long was I out?” I asked.

“You mean when you were kidnapped? They kept you in that holding cell for three days. If you mean after getting knocked out? You’ve been out for almost a day.”

“Damn...”

“Anyway, they said this should heal you pretty fast. Jiraiya wants to have another go at it in a couple of days, so get better fast.”

For the next week, this continued, where each torture – mental, physical, and emotional – got worse and more intense. I swear there were times when I felt I would crack, where the insults would really hit home or where the beatings would make me want to rage like an animal and take any of the bastards down.

However, by the tenth day, I could feel the change beginning to take place. Picture a gradual  hardening shell beginning to form around you like a shield. I had literally come to a point where no matter what threats were hurled my way, I could feel nothing and simply accepted it in maddening silence. I could now look Jiraiya or any of the other assholes in the eye without giving away my murderous intentions. I learned to modulate my tone, to speak in a manner that could fool anyone into believing that I was sincere when I wasn’t. I felt slightly distant at times, hardly even speaking to Shika on some nights, or when I did, it was in cryptic sentences that left him looking at me with slight disappointment. However, he had to have known this was going to happen. I couldn’t be expected to be too friendly with him especially if our every move was going to be scrutinized from now on.

(no offense to you, my dear friend, but if I give even the slightest hint of knowing you as a companion, your life might be in danger when the time comes)

“Well, I must say you far exceeded my expectations,” Jiraiya praised on what would be our last night at the temple. “I was sure you’d have quit half-way through.”

I smiled wanly and gave a light shrug. “It’s no big deal. All part of the learning process, eh?”

“Yes, well...let’s just hope you never actually have to go through any of those simulations in reality,” came the low response. “Though you have remarkable healing time, there is no healing from being a corpse, do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

After one last visit to my father’s grave, it was time to head out to the real world only this time, I felt not only stronger physically, but in mind and spirit. Hell, even Aya must have noticed the change in me because there seemed to be a more appreciative glint in her eyes now; a look that any sane hot-blooded male would have recognized and realized as pure lust. Already temptation beckoned, and I honestly had to focus on not giving in to the primal urge to accept her subtle advances.

And though I was ashamed to admit I had not thought much of Sasuke during my training, just picturing his expression of disapproval made me cringe inwardly.

Damn. Guess it was back to working with my hands, a bottle of lotion and a box of tissues.

Being celibate sucks!

__

“Tonight, you will have dinner with Jiraiya-sama,” Kakashi announced about a week later while Shika and I were brushing up on our yakuza information in my bedroom. “In your closets, you will notice some traditional kimonos have been placed for you to wear. Dinner will be served at eight. Please try to make it on time.”

Shika and I rolled our eyes at each other – Kakashi, who had still not given any impression that he wanted to become ‘friends’ with us - could really be a pain in the ass when he wanted to. Still, Shika and I made a promise to meet in the front garden at least ten minutes before dinner started. I honestly didn’t feel like getting a scolding from Jiraiya since he was a stickler for being punctual. Last time we showed up late for lunch, he threw his wooden slippers at us and called us lazy, no-good bums who deserved to have our asses roasted over flaming hot coals.

Ouch.

As I opened my closet to see what Kakashi was talking about, I noticed that not only was the traditional garb hanging there, but two new suits we definitely hadn’t purchased on our shopping spree hung silently in clear wrapping like exquisite items not to be touched. Hell, even without touching them, I knew what they represented and why it was there. Those suits were going to be my new ‘work’ clothes, and whether I liked it or not, it was a reminder that time was ticking fast and the reality of my new role was just around the corner.

It took a while to get into the black hakama especially when it came to tying the damn obi around my waist to hold it up (I had lost a little weight after all). Embarrassed, I had to holler for Aya to help me with it, and by the time we were through, the poor girl had to be the one to dress me up completely. So sue me. I can’t remember the last time I had to wear the whole damn regalia just to eat dinner. Give me a comfortable yukata anytime.

Even worse was getting used to walking around with socks and wooden slippers, and I nearly tripped over a few times on my way to meeting Shika, who might as well be born to wear the traditional attire. He looked so comfortable, I hated him on sight.

“Dude,” I complained as we made our way to Jiraiya’s place. “Why do you have to look so good in that thing?”

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” he praised with a light nod. “You look half-decent.”

“Thanks,” I replied sarcastically just as I caught the shadow moving behind us and shook my head in slight awe. One of the cool things about Jiraiya’s home is that there were freaking guards everywhere and you wouldn’t even know it! These guys were like trained ninjas or something; lurking in the shadows or being as still as death whenever you walked past them. They hardly spoke to you, and if they did, it was to either bow in greeting or relay some message to Kakashi.

“Is it just me or does it seem like there are a lot more guards around tonight?” Shika mused as we crossed the bridge and made our way to the main courtyard.

“Guess that’s why,” I replied when we noticed about six shiny black cars all parked in a row; a clear sign that this was definitely not going to be some ordinary dinner. Considering that beside each one stood a yakuza in a black suit and dark sunglasses, I had a feeling that I was about to be ushered into a scene one had only seen in the movies.

Kakashi – dressed just like we were- waited at the top of the steps, and after acknowledging each other with polite bows, he led us through the main foyer as he usually did. However, unlike the past where we’d make a right to the small dining area, he led us further down the hallway, where we could hear loud voices engaged in boisterous conversation. Standing like sentries at the screen doors were two more bodyguards, who bowed and slid them open to allow Kakashi, Shika and I into the large and very impressive dining room.

However, just as soon as we were led in, the conversation stopped and you could literally hear a damn pin drop.

(yikes)

In addition to Jiraiya, who sat at the head of the room, six other well-dressed men (in different variations of black traditional wear) sat on large pillows facing each other across a long, low table laden with good food and drink. There was a sickening stench of power and authority in this place, and as I studied each wizened face or chiseled expression (for they too watched me in silence), I felt a tremor of excitement fill my heart at the realization that these were all people who were closely connected to the men I sought to kill or at least had known my father personally. My chest throbbed like a snare drum on acid, and it wasn’t until I heard Kakashi’s harsh “kneel down and bow, you idiot!”, did I realize I was the only one still standing.

I met Jiraiya’s amused glance as I dutifully fell to my knees and bowed my head to the tatami mat in respect.

Still a part of me fumed in silent rage -

(you watched him die. You couldn’t save him. You let him die!)

...and briefly entertained the thought of taking them all out to satisfy this dark side of me. They would deserve it after all.

“Gentlemen,” Jiraiya suddenly boomed as he raised his cup of sake in salutation. “I present to you the son of Namikaze Minato. The long lost Uzumaki Naruto. He will be the one to restore our honor and what was once lost to the senseless greed of those who have failed to honor the sacred codes of the ninkyō dantai! In the names of our glorious ancestors and leaders of the true Bakufu-gumi, please join me in welcoming him to the family!”

“Hear hear!” came the responding salute from someone else. “To Uzumaki Naruto and the lasting legacy of Namikaze Minato, the rightful heir to the Bakufu Syndicate. Welcome!”

“WELCOME!”

Their thunderous greeting and applause had me looking up slowly to acknowledge their presence, and though my lips seemed to twitch into a small smile, the once thudding snare in my heart was gradually being replaced by a chill that had me forming tight fists on my lap.

(I see it)

Their smiles. Their eyes.

(I see it all now)

Their nods. Their self-congratulatory mode.

I now knew what I was to become to these men, including the one who mentored me.

(their smiles. How fake and empty the look)

(I see it all)

I was nothing more than their tool, a carefully crafted weapon designed to complete what they had started so long ago. To them, I was the missing link to the puzzle, and as I acted out the role of the sheepish newbie, I vowed to finish what my father must have come to realize and had failed in achieving before his death.

I would take every single one of these fuckers down with me.

(payback was going to be a bitch)

__

Translations:

I sang mu! – All clear!

Chapter 36

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