Title: Pillow Talk
Pairing: 1x2x1
Rating: R
Warning: Implied lemon, language, conversations between inanimate objects -__-, fluff, sap, humor.
Notes: Putting a whole new spin on the term. My apologies before hand, this came to me while making my bed this morning. Enjoy.


 

When we met, it was love at first sight. There I sat amidst a pile of pushy, overstuffed feathered rivals, hoping that I would grab the attention of some lucky customer. For days and days, I remained hidden amongst my bigger competitors, suffered having to watch them picked and admired and squished to bosoms as their new owners catered them away. I felt miserable and alone, cold even though I was surrounded by others. I wondered if I’d ever be taken off this prison, wondered if I wasn’t good enough and if I would be taken back to that dank and creepy warehouse where I’d be discarded and possibly shredded.

I spoke to no one and was taunted as being a newbie with an attitude problem and as the days went by, I was constantly ignored and shoved deeper and deeper into my prison. There was simply no hope for me. My days were numbered and I knew that if I wasn’t bought soon, it was goodbye forever.

That was until I met him.

It was yet another busy shopping day and I think they were having a sale on the mattresses nearby. You should have seen those big bulky things, preening and gleaming as they allowed the humans to bounce all over them. Of course, it was only natural that many would buy us to accompany their purchase of a new bed, but as usual, I was ignored and not given much attention. I sighed and prepared for another long day of absolutely nothing when he suddenly appeared before me. I had noticed him walking around the shop earlier, just browsing and not really doing much, but to finally see him this close, it was actually quite a shock.

I did my best to shine for him, puffing out my chest and hoping he’d pick me. I died a little as his gaze roamed to the bigger pillows and knew without a doubt that he’d pick them and not me. As I got ready to slink back into the shadows, I suddenly felt strong fingers tugging at me and soon enough there I was in the light of day!

Oh, joy! Oh great happy day! Fresh air and sunlight and ow! Why did he have to punch me like that? And shake me too?

“You’ll do,” he muttered as I stared into those dark blue eyes of his.

However, I wasn’t given the pleasure of admiring him for too long, for he tucked me beneath his arm (thank goodness it didn’t smell) and dragged me off to be purchased. I would have blown a raspberry to my competitors, but I was too happy to be bothered by such things. I was giddy with joy that someone had finally bought me and I was going to a new home where I hoped to be put to good use!

My new owner was apparently just moving into the neighborhood for he bought several other items that day. New bed sheets (very lovely and friendly couple), a big blanket (wasn’t too friendly at first but he warmed up in time…no pun intended) and of course the mattress (who likes to talk a lot). I found out that my new owner’s name was Heero Yuy, thanks to a mailman who came the other day to ask him a question.

I will say this about my master. He’s quite the meticulous man. He’s always neat, which is a good thing because if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s filth. He likes to keep his small apartment in tiptop shape and there have been many a time when I’ve wondered if he’s expecting visitors since he seems almost anal about it. But that’s another matter we’ll get to – the lack of visitors that is.

My master only has me for a pillow and after much extensive research at the store; I considered it a bit odd that he wouldn’t have more than one. You see, most humans tend to buy at least two, but my master seems to be content with having just me around. It’s not that I’m complaining mind you, in fact, I’m glad I have no rival at the moment. But still…it is kind of lonely especially at night. Maybe I’m just used to sleeping next to a bunch of others and after so long; it gets a bit hard having to deal with being solo.

But my master doesn’t seem to mind the solitude. He works at a place called the Preventers and wears a rather cool uniform every day. He is sometimes gone for long periods of time and when he does come home, it’s to go straight to that cocky laptop (you should see the way it grins and gloats all day) to begin typing away. He cooks, eats and watches his TV alone and when he finally crawls into bed…

(This is my favorite part)

…he wraps his arms around me tightly and falls asleep. But they haven’t all been peaceful nights. There have been times when he begins to cry softly (and I’m not even sure he realizes this) into me. He sometimes whispers a name that sounds eerily like ‘Duo’ – but I can’t be sure – and tosses and turns restlessly giving poor Mr Blanket and Mr and Mrs Bed Sheet a run for their money. It is times like these that I realize how lonely my master is. I wish I could do more for him but I am just a pillow and can only provide whatever warmth and comfort he needs. But honestly, I wish he wouldn’t squeeze me so tightly sometimes. I can barely breathe.

Well, things went on like this for a while, until the day he came bursting into the apartment, looking like he had just run a marathon. His eyes seemed more alive than usual and there was a flush on his cheeks as if something or someone had caused him to feel that way. Imagine my surprise as he lifted me and held me at arms length. I didn’t want to freak out and wondered if he was going to toss me out the window. But suddenly he said,

“Practice. Practice. I’ve got to learn how to practice this.”

Practice? What did he mean by that? What did he plan to…oh my God! Was he actually kissing me?!

Well…if you could call that smashing of his mouth against me kissing. It felt weird and to be honest, not a very good attempt. I’ve seen several couples at the store and even from watching TV, at how the kissing process works. But that…that was just ridiculous.

He groaned and tossed me aside (was that really necessary?) and began to pace around the room like a man possessed. I listened to him mutter to himself and after several minutes of this, he plunked himself down in front of his laptop again to work on something…or rather to stare at it.

That night, he held me tighter than usual and I could see that he was actually smiling. I wondered what could have happened to make him feel this way. Had my master finally found someone new in his life? If so, when could I see her? I hoped it would be soon because it was about time I saw another human face.

 

The visitor finally arrived a few days later and needless to say, those of us in the apartment were stunned at the sight of…well…someone other than our master. I will say that my master seemed like a nervous wreck all day and did his best to make us look even tidier and neater than ever. He even cooked something special tonight. He fluffed and straightened me out for the one-millionth time and just when I thought I was going to scream in frustration, the doorbell rang and, I swear, my master actually gave a breathless squeak at the sound of it!

But true to his nature, my master was as cool as a cucumber when he opened the door and let his date in. I was expecting to hear a feminine voice, perhaps a nice lady dressed in something slinky (Mr Mattress had predicted that we would be put to good use tonight) but imagine my surprise when it was another masculine voice and to make it worse, another man showed up beside my master. What?!

“Want something to drink, Duo?”

Duo! So this was the Duo that my master’s been mumbling about in his sleep and yes, even though I did not mention this earlier, masturbating to each night. I would rather not speak about my master’s perverted tendencies. It’s our secret.

Anyway, this Duo character seemed to be quite a jovial and friendly guy and it didn’t take long for him to loosen up my master – through talking that is. They had dinner (which Duo complimented profusely, causing my master to blush in response) and played a few video games before diving into work.

Work? How can you work in a situation like this?! I’m no fool and even though both men seem to be keeping a respectable distance from each other, it’s easy to see that there’s an attraction there – a very strong attraction. The tension in the room is killing me and I think my companions feel the same way too. They want some action and they want it now!

(Hopefully, they don’t decide to do it on the floor or that wouldn’t be cool at all.)

Finally,

“Heero?”

“Hmm?”

“Look at me.”

“Why?”

“You’ve been avoiding me all evening.”

“What are you talking about? I’m here right beside you, aren’t I?”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Then what do you mean?”

“You can’t tell me you don’t feel this thing between us.”

“I’m not sure of what you mean.”

(Oh, how my master lies. He’s literally steaming with need.)

“I want you, Heero.”

“We have to work.”

“I don’t give a shit about work…now.”

“Duo…”

“Shut…up…”

And did it suddenly get a few degrees hotter in here or what?! I’m literally bouncing in glee and Mr Mattress is quivering in delight! We watch in anticipation as Duo all but tackles my master to the floor. The sounds of heaving breathing and panting are contagious and I’m begging them to move to the bed.

“Bed…”

“Hmm?”

“The…ah…bed, Duo…”

“Right.”

Can you hear that? Angels singing in heaven going ‘Hallelujah!’ at the top of their lungs?! We are all rejoicing right along with them and we do our best to help my master and his companion to their fullest potential.

I did say I was going to keep my master’s private affairs to myself and can’t go into details, so it’s best you shut the door and leave them to their coupling.









All right, so they switched positions several times and after a few awkward moments, my master got the hang of it and at the last count, made Duo come three times during the course of the night.


Why yes, indeed. My master is a stud.

 

Two long weeks have passed and it’s been nothing but roses and sunshine in this apartment. Oh, did I forget to introduce you to my new companion? He just arrived a few days ago and we’ve hit it off quite well. You see, it’s quite convenient for us now, since Duo has moved in and made this place home. The nights are not so lonely anymore and I can always snuggle up to my new partner whenever I want.

So as you can see, my master is quite happy and so am I. Who could have wished for a better ending to this tale?



~The End~