Author: Kiya Sama

Title: Fanmail

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: None really…a lame attempt at humor?

Pairings: Hints of 1x2, 3x4 and an orgy? Oy.

Disclaimers: Main characters are properties of Bandai and Studio Sunrise. I make no money off them.

Notes: Just a little something written on the fly in celebration of Gundam Wing’s 10^th anniversary. Not the greatest thing ever, but I hope it brings a smile to your face. Enjoy! ^-^

Fanmail:

Hello, young ladies (and the occasional gentlemen), Duo Maxwell here to finally read all the wonderful fan letters we get from you all. Oh, don’t get me wrong on the ‘finally’ part. We do read them - when we have the time - but today, you finally get to have some of them replied on the air. Great, huh?

Where are the other pilots you might ask? Well, they were here but Trowa had to go take care of some things (he is rather evasive you know), Quatre had an important meeting he just couldn’t miss. Wufei’s gone grocery shopping (we’ve got to eat and no I was not the one who finished the last box of cereal au contraire to everyone bitching at me about it this morning…ah, sorry I digress) and Heero, well, who knows where the hell he is.

But back to the letters! I’ll try to read as many as I can and answer to the best of my abilities, okay? But don’t take my word for it now. I’m no expert at anything…unless it comes to Deathscythe, of course.

Now, our first letter comes from Anne. She writes:

Dear Gundam Wing Boys,

I really, really like your show and wish that you were real…

Whoa…you mean we weren’t real before?

…but lately it seems like everyone’s moving towards that new show, Gundam Seed Destiny. What do you guys think about that?

Your loving fan, Anne.

Well, Anne, I’m glad you asked that question. You see, we are a very fun group of guys and we don’t really take offense to anyone continuing the Gundam franchise. You’ve got to remember that we weren’t even the first Gundam characters to exist! There were some really older guys…but that’s not important. What’s important is that you the fans made Gundam Wing the most popular one of all and we thank you for that. However, Athrun, Kira and the other guys do come around to have tea once in a while……..but between you and me, we still kick their asses each and every time.

Thanks for the letter, Anne! Now, the next one comes from Akira. He writes:

Dear Wufei,

I’m your biggest fan and I think you’re the best pilot out there. However, I don’t like the way you tend to rant a lot. Why can’t you just lighten up a bit?

Akira – your biggest fan.

Well, Akira, since Wufei’s not here, I can only speak on his behalf and let me tell you that you’ve definitely got it all wrong! Wufei’s not just a ranting freak show. He does have his quiet moments every once in a while and has such a great comedic side as well. You just don’t want to piss him off, that’s all. But then again, you don’t really want to piss any of us because we are all crazy inside…except me. Hehe, thanks for the letter, Akira.

Next we have one from…eh…Pi…Py…Pe…no…someone from France. She or he writes:

Hello, Duo,

I am a fanfiction writer and I’m trying to get my works published someday. Would you give me some pointers on how to write a really good Gundam Wing story? I’d like to keep you guys in character as much as possible. Thank you.

Wow, I really hope you get your work published someday, thepersonwhosenameIcannotpronounce. But I’m not a fanfiction or fiction expert so I can’t really give you any pointers. However, you might want to watch the entire show from beginning to end if you want to keep us in character. I guess that’s the only way to go about it, right? Good luck!

Ah, and this one is addressed to Quatre and it’s from QuatreLuver1….interesting.

Dear Quatre-chan,

I am so in love with you it’s not even funny! I want to have your babies someday but I can always wait until the war is over and all of that. Could you please tell me why you’re an empath? I’d really like to become one too!

Your lover, QuatreLuver1

Uh….hmmm, I don’t really think there’s a way to become an empath, QuatreLuver1. You’ve got to be born with it and stuff like that. Besides, there are times when I think Quatre wishes he didn’t have that particular gift. It’s kinda like a pain in the butt to him when he has to deal with all our emotions at a go. But good luck to you in trying to become one. As for the babies part…keep hope alive.

Moving right along to a letter addressed to ‘The Cool One’ by Esther. Heh, the ‘Cool One’ - Trowa will get a kick out of this one.

Dear Trowa,

Personally, I think you’re so underrated in the show. I really wish they had given you more scenes. You’re clearly the star of the show! And what’s all this gay talk about you and Quatre being well…gay? I mean what gives? You’re not gay. You just like the guy very much, right? Please tell me it’s not true or I’ll slit my wrists again tonight.

Love, Esther

Ah…eh….riiiight. Man, Trowa gets the really intense fans, doesn’t he? Hate to burst your bubble there, Esther, but Trowa and Quatre are reeeeeeeeeally close friends. Of course I could always say that the noise they make each night is just both of them playing Twister, but I’d be lying to you. However, it’s really not cool to go cutting your wrists and all of that. Must be a messy job trying to clean up afterwards.

Ah, finally a letter addressed to Heero Yuy, from RabidHEerofan4evar! Yikes.

Dear Heero

I’m your biggest fangirl and I totally love you so much. I’m also a big fan of the 1x2x1 pairing and if it’s not too personal, could you tell me just how you and Duo do make out? Or what you guys do for fun together? I plan to start a blog where I can write detailed stories about your escapades. Oh and just in case you’re interested (since I know you surf the net a lot /squee/) you might want to check it out at www.blogthis.1x2x1forever.com

Please stop by and tell Duo that we love him too!

Your biggest fangirl evar!

Awww, thanks so much for that, rabid fangirl. I will say that this numbering system is very interesting and funny but I’ll be sure to check out your website later.

Moving right along to a letter from Amy – at last a regular name!

Dear Heero and Duo,

Are you two really a couple? I mean, what’s the deal?

Your semi-fan, Amy.

Ah…well…why don’t we take a look at the next letter, shall we?

Dear Duo or Heero,

I’d really like to know just how you guys make out. Is Heero really as repressed as fanfiction tends to make him?

Thanks!

Heero? Repressed?! So yeah, he was kinda shy and awkward the first time around but after that I think he settled in quite well and now he’s a bit hard to control when he’s really in the mood to…oookay! Why don’t we move on to the next letter and hopefully the last of these rather personal questions, hmm?

Dear Duo,

I don’t like the way you’re made to be the most popular character out there. So yes, you have the coolest gundam and you have long hair and you are rather cute, but otherwise, there’s nothing really happening for you. Please tell the fangirls to stop building a million and one shrines to you. It’s really aggravating.

P.S: The whole you being with Heero thing is so overrated. Heero’s a manslut and can sleep with just about any of the other pilots and still be as hot.

P.P.S: Do you guys ever get to have orgies as well?

Thanks.

Fetish Girl

Whoa, do you hate me that much, Fetish girl? It’s cool and despite what you might think, I do have people who hate my guts just like you do. You see, that’s why there are five of us. The fans are free to pick their favorites and whoever they choose to boink with. Not sure about the Heero being a manslut thing. Heh, I think I’ll run that by him tonight and see what he says about it. And no we do not have orgies…yet. We’re working on that…in our next life.

Oh, I hear one of the guys coming back home which means that my time is up. I really shouldn’t have poked into their mailbags to read their letters, but (and not to sound smug) I almost always end up having the most fanmail.

I know, I know. I kick ass.

But keep those letters coming because you know we’ll definitely be reading them or visiting your journals or blogs to see just what you are all up to. Thank you again to all of you for keeping the spirit of Gundam Wing alive after all these years.

We remain eternally grateful.

HAPPY 10^TH YEAR ANNIVERSARY, GUNDAM WING!