Omake: The Case of the Missing Cat -1.

The GW Gang does Sherlock Holmes.

 

The setting is England in the early forties…

 

/Heero: Wasn’t Sherlock Holmes set in the nineteenth century? /

 

Oh…sorry…

 

The setting is England in the late nineteenth century – in the year 1892 to be exact. It is a cold and dreary night as the rains had just fallen earlier in the day. The familiar cobbled streets are filled with puddles. Dim lights from late sleepers flicker in windows on the quiet street as only a few brave souls dare venture out into the night. The sound of a carriage coming down the road is the only sign of life besides these creatures of the night. The thick fog barely makes it visible as the horse neighs in protest while trotting along as carefully as it can.

 

We are in 221b Baker Street. One of the most famous streets in all of England for it houses the greatest detective of all time – Detective Heero Yuy and his famous sidekick…

 

/Duo: Hello? Colleague? Assistant? Hell, even Doctor would do, damn it! /

 

Eh…right…

 

Detective Heero Yuy and his famous colleague – Dr. Duo Maxwell.

 

/Duo: *grumbling * My outfit itches./

 

Deal with it…please?

 

221b was a rather large Victorian lodging house that had become more than just a home to Detective Yuy. It had also become an office, of sorts, for all the cases that had come their way over the years. Detective Yuy was quite proud of his work, but especially much prouder of his side…colleague, Dr. Maxwell.

 

Mrs. Une, their landlady and housemaid…

 

/Lady Une: * looking quite upset* Mrs. Hudson was not a housemaid./

 

/Relena: Oh, yes she was! *whips out Official Guidebook to Sherlock Holmes * It says here that Mrs. Hudson was not only the landlady of the lodge, but she also took charge of cleaning and cooking for the detectives./

 

/Lady Une: …/

 

May we continue our story now?!

 

/Mutual grumbles from everyone./

 

Okay. On this cold and dreary night, the carriage that came plodding down the street was one that was rarely seen around these parts. It was made of the finest wood with intricate gold designs on its sides. It obviously spoke of wealth and prestige and as it made a stop in front of the famous house, a gas lamp, being held by the landlady, could be seen heading out from the small wrought iron gates and towards it.

 

The carriage doors opened and two men with a distinguished air about them stepped out of it. They were both dressed in the finest of evening wear and as they took off their top hats to bow at the woman that greeted them, one could make out the shocking fairness of the slightly shorter man and the responding darkness of his companion.

 

The fair man smiled warmly at the woman. “Good evening, Mrs. Une. We are here to see Detective Yuy.”

 

“Ah yes, you must be Inspectors Quatre Winner and Trowa Barton of Scotland Yard?” The woman gave a soft nod and began to lead the way up a flight of stairs and into the small living room. “Detective Yuy and Dr. Maxwell have been waiting for you. Please follow me.”

 

The two inspectors exchanged quick glances but said nothing as they followed quietly. Both had, of course, heard of the greatness of Detective Yuy’s sleuthing skills. And even though Inspector Barton had not wanted to come this far, Winner had insisted. For this particular case, there would have to rely on the proud detective’s input.

 

/Duo: * in slight awe while thumbing through book with Relena* Man…did you know that good ol’ Sherlock was a druggie? Says here that he used to inject himself with cocaine three times a week at least. * eyes Heero warily* Hmmm…/

 

/Heero: …Don’t even go there./

 

/Authors trying desperately to get this story told./

 

/Zechs: Why don’t we just kill off the lead characters and get on with my scene./

 

/Wufei: I will have to agree. Where do I come in?!/

 

/It’s coming, guys. Please be patient. * groans*/

 

Mrs. Une knocked lightly on the door and at the muffled reply of ‘Enter’, she pushed it open and led the two Inspectors within the hallowed walls of the famous…

 

/Duo: Enough with the praising. I think it’s going to Heero’s head./

 

/Hilde: * eyes said swollen head* Hmm…you do have a point there…/

 

/Author is suddenly seen in mega-chibi sized form brandishing her pen like a weapon./ May we finish?!

 

/…/

 

Now, this room, which also served as an office, a chemistry lab and a doctor’s room, was furnished rather tastefully. In two armchairs by the fireplace, sat Detective Yuy and Dr. Maxwell. The young detective was dressed in a silk rich burgundy housecoat with matching slippers on his feet.

 

/Relena: * shudders* Such horrible colors…/

 

He had a pipe stuck in his mouth as his piercing blue gaze remained firmly fixed on the doctor before him. He barely gave a glance to the newcomers and instead said calmly.

 

“Thank you, Mrs. Une. I’ll take it from here.”

 

The woman gave another polite bow before making her way out of the room. The two inspectors stood uncomfortably within the confined space, while staring at the room in silent awe. There was a violin placed carefully beside the fireplace with some music sheets laying across the floor. It was obvious that the instrument had been played sometime in the evening. There was the dull smell of some sort of chemical concoction and it could only have come from the still sizzling glass flask on the detective’s desk. The heavy smell of tobacco overrode that, however, and Inspector Quatre sneezed before giving an apologetic glance at his scowling partner.

 

“Ah, Inspectors Winner and Barton,” the good doctor with eyes of darkest violet, greeted with a warm smile. He was dressed in a light brown casual evening suit, which was quite pleasing to the eye. His long chestnut-colored hair was done in a thick braid that fell over his shoulder. Everyone was quite aware of how important Dr. Maxwell was to Detective Yuy. The two men were virtually inseparable.

 

“Perhaps you should make yourself comfortable in my seat,” Maxwell offered with a winning smile.

 

“Oh, don’t mind if I do,” Inspector Winner answered with a smile of his own. But it seemed like his partner had other things in mind.

 

“We do not have the time to waste, Quatre. I trust that you know why we are here, Detective?”

 

Yuy, who had eyed his companion’s actions with wariness, puffed out a cloud of smoke from his pipe before rising to his feet to pin the trademark intense look of scrutiny on the taller police inspector.

 

“You are here about the missing cat, are you not?” came the rather smug reply.

 

Dr. Maxwell and Inspector Winner gasped in disbelief at the amazing deduction. How had Detective Yuy known?

 

“Surely you are a man of psychic means, Heero,” Maxwell gushed as he reached for his notebook to scribble down this little moment of historic proportions. “You already knew the case before Inspector Barton…”

 

“That is because it was in the newspaper today, Dr. Maxwell,” Inspector Trowa interrupted while whipping out the ‘London Times’ from seemingly nowhere.

 

“How astute of you, Inspector,” Heero drawled lazily as he placed his hands behind his back and paced around the small room. “The case involves Lady Relena’s Persian cat that was given to her by the Queen for her twentieth birthday. It is believed that this cat is worth over a million pounds.”

 

/Duo: Whoa! That is one expensive kitty./

 

/Hilde: Why can’t anyone buy me a cat like that?/

 

/Authors…growling./

 

/Eeep!/

 

“Surely you will help us, Detective Yuy,” Quatre asked before accepting the cup of tea that Dr. Maxwell had been so kind to offer. “My word…” He took a sip. “Oh, my goodness. Arabian tea! How did you know that it was my favorite?”

 

The kind doctor was all too willing to share his knowledge of teas. “Why, this was sent to me from some of my friends in India – since my past duties were in India. A special and rare blend if you ask me…”

 

Detective Yuy coughed.

 

“…these are specially made in the highlands of Switzerland actually. They have a light flavor to it, don’t you think?”

 

A much louder cough was given.

 

Inspector Quatre agreed with a firm nod, eyes widened in fascination. “It truly does have a wonderful light…”

 

“Gentlemen!”

 

The two men eyed the bristling Detective with bemused looks on their faces. “Have you discovered something fascinating, Heero?” Duo asked quickly. “You look quite…”

 

“Isn’t this story supposed to be about my genius?!” came the petulant cry.

 

Inspector Trowa groaned in disbelief while making himself comfortable on the armchair. And as he closed his eyes to relax, he soon found himself being tossed unceremoniously to the floor.

 

“What the…?”

 

/Duo: *in a very solemn tone * No one lies in the famous armchair. It’s Heero’s thinking space. Lay on it and you die./

 

/Hilde: Talk about over reaction. *snorts */

 

/Heero: Blame the writer, not me./

 

/Trowa: *noticing that author is about to write a death scene quickly silences the others * Shssh, I think she is about to kill one of us off./

 

/Group falls dead silent (no pun intended)/

 

The famous detective puffed out another cloud of smoke before giving a small nod. “Who are our suspects in this case, Inspector Trowa?”

 

The officer, still angry at being pulled off the armchair, pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. “Our number one suspect is of course, Professor…Zechs Merquise.”

 

/Cue scary music and lightening flash outside of window…which sends Relena squealing in fear and clinging onto…Fumoffu??/ (Okay, now HOW did THAT get here?? -_-;; )

 

Dr. Maxwell did not understand. “What would Professor Zechs Merquise…”

 

/Scary music comes up again./

 

/Duo: Okay, do we always have to have that song played whenever we mention that guy’s name?/

 

/Zechs: *looking quite spiffy in his black nineteenth century ensemble * I am Yuy’s archenemy after all. /

 

/Duo: *irritated * And your point is?/

 

/Wufei: Get on with the story!!!/

 

“What would Professor Zechs Merquise…?”

 

A pregnant silence fell as everyone blinked in confusion at the now silent doctor. “Eh…Dr. Maxwell? Have you forgotten your lines…again?” Heero asked slowly already knowing the answer.

 

Quatre whispered something quickly into the doctor’s ears and nodding in response, the man with the braid spoke up again. “Why would Professor Zechs Merquise want Relena’s cat?”

 

The famous detective shook his head. “Not now, my dear Maxwell. We shall come to the bottom of this case soon enough.” He waved towards Inspector Barton. “You may proceed, sir.”

 

“Second on our list is Prince Wufei of China. He is a guest at Lady Relena’s house and a possible suspect as well.”

 

Now, Dr. Maxwell was really confused. “But why would…”

 

“Shssh, my dear Maxwell,” Heero chided softly. “Let the inspector finish.”

 

“Third on our list is Lady Hilde, Relena’s twin sister…”

 

/Hilde: Whoa back up there! Do I look anything like Relena? How can I be her twin sister?!/

 

/Dorothy: I don’t mind being her twin sister./

 

/Quatre: And where did you come from?/

 

/Relena: * shrugs* I don’t mind having two twin sisters./

 

/Duo: So, Relena is part of a triplet? Wow…this is some wacky story./

 

/Heero: So what? We can only assume that Hilde and Dorothy were perhaps separated at birth and were made to live far away from the Peacecraft household, thereby creating a scenario where the three ladies had no idea that they were actually blood related in the first place./

 

/…/

 

/Duo: * whispers into Trowa’s ear* You think Heero is taking this detective thing a bit too seriously?/

 

/Trowa: * not really sure of what to say*/

 

“And our final suspect is Lady Dorothy who is also a twin sister to Lady Relena.” The Inspector finished with a wan smile. “That’s the list of people we have now, Detective. Is there anything else you would like from us?”

 

The three men watched the famous detective ‘hmm’ softly, before he finally spoke up. “That would be all for now, Inspector. I already got your report this morning and I will be working on it shortly. Please give my regards to the Chief. Tell him that I will have this case solved by tomorrow evening.”

 

The men gasped in shock.

 

“Surely you do not know the perpetrator already, Detective!” Inspector Winner cried out.

 

Heero Yuy gave an enigmatic smile. “Perhaps so, my dear Inspector. Perhaps so.”

 

/Quatre: * trying very hard to stifle a giggle*/

 

/Heero: ??…?/

 

/Quatre: * you…saying ‘my dear’. I just don’t…don’t see…* gives up and collapses on floor in heap of helpless giggles*/

 

/Hilde: * getting antsy* Someone call the guys in white!/

 

/Zechs: Please continue with the story./

 

Once the inspectors were gone, the two friends remained sitting before the fireplace in deep thought. Dr. Maxwell knew better than to bring up a discussion now. His companion had gone into his contemplative state and there was nothing he could do about it. An hour later and finding himself about to doze off, a light tap on his shoulder roused him up quickly.

 

“Wha…what? What is it, Heero?” he asked a bit wildly as he noticed the familiar glint of excitement in the brilliant man’s eyes.

 

“Get your jacket, Maxwell,” the Detective enthused with a wide grin. “We are going to expose the person responsible for kidnapping Lady Relena’s cat.”

 

“Alright!”

 

The good doctor rose to his feet and picked up his warm jacket, only to blink as he watched his partner make his way out the door.

 

“Eh…Heero?”

 

The detective spun around with an impatient look on his features. “What is it now, Maxwell?”

 

The doctor shrugged into his jacket with a smirk. “Don’t you think you should change out of your dressing robe first? Surely you do not intend to walk the streets of London in that outfit.”

 

“Ah. Too true, Maxwell. Too true.”

 

And so it was, that our two greatest sleuths set out to solve the greatest kidnapping mystery in the history of…greatest kidnapping mysteries.

 

Join us next time for the exciting conclusion to this wonderful tale of murder…

 

/Duo: What murder?!/

 

…mystery and intrigue, on the next episode of…

 

Detective Heero Yuy and The Case of the Missing Cat – Part 2!!

 

/Wufei: I can’t believe I still didn’t get in this chapter./

 

/Author: Don’t worry. You’ll get more love in the second part. I promise * bats lashes* /

 

/Wufei: * gags*/

 

 

 

Notes:

 

Fumoffu – that lovable teddy bear aka Sousuke Sagara in Full Metal Panic.